I Fell in Love with Someone I Shouldn't Have Fallen in Love with

Healthy Thoughts

As December comes, Souji-kun moves out of our house, marking the end of our life living together for about one year and nine months.

We hardly spend any time together lately, so even though Souji-kun has moved out, there hasn’t been much change in my daily life.

Of course, there is a significant emotional impact, though.

I was able to meet Souji-kun immediately whenever I want because we live in the same house, but now, Souji-kun no longer lives with us, that means I can’t meet him immediately because he is far away.

That being said, showing my gloomy feelings to Souji-kun now will only have a negative impact. So, I decided to try my best to stay strong and support his new life from now on.

I asked Souji-kun if it would be okay for me to visit his apartment sometimes.

“Of course. I might be quite busy and not able to be with you immediately, but please feel free to come over.”

Souji-kun told me so.

Then the following weekend, Souji-kun invited me to his apartment.

I actually invited Emi to come alone, but she declined. So, I ended up going to Souji-kun’s apartment alone.

Souji-kun has given me his address and I checked the location on my phone’s map beforehand.

Since I’m free and don’t have anything to do, I decided to ride my bicycle to Souji-kun’s apartment and call him when I arrive.

Since this will be my first time visiting Souji-kun’s apartment, I think about various things.

I want to do something for Souji-kun.

I wonder what should I do to make him happy?

But, will I be a bother to him?

The first thing I think is making a meal for Souji-kun.

If I go to Souji-kun’s apartment in the morning and cook three meals from breakfast to dinner, will it be too much?

Since I don’t want to take the wrong move, I ask Souji-kun by messaging him.

“I’m delighted to have Ami-san’s home-cooked meal after such a long time.”

I receive a reply saying so. Reading that message from Souji-kun instantly boosted my motivation.

So, the day before I go to Souji-kun’s place, I stopped by a supermarket after school to buy groceries while thinking about the menu.

For breakfast, white rice, miso soup, and grilled fish.

Next, I’ll make fried rice for lunch.

Then, for dinner, I’ll make curry rice.

Even though I’m really motivated to cook for Souji-kun, I can’t really cook complicated dishes. So, in the end, I settled for the usual menu.

Apart from cooking, I also checked if there is anything Souji-kun might want such as appliances or furniture. I thought that if we have some free time tomorrow, we can go together to see them, so I withdrew the money I saved from my part-time job in advance.

I considered things like a kotatsu or a heater.

I also thought about household goods like daily necessities and dishes.

I just can’t get the image of Souji-kun’s empty room when he was living with us out of my mind. I hope that his new place will be cozier and less lonely.

Today, I woke up at 5:30, got all dressed up then prepared the groceries that I had bought the day before and my own apron.

I leave home at around 7 in the morning.

I go to Souji-kun’s apartment by my bicycle as planned, and I arrive there a little before 7:30. When I contact Souji-kun using my smartphone, the door of a room on the first floor of the apartment opens, and Souji-kun comes out.

“Good morning. Sorry to bother you this early in the morning. Let me carry your things inside.”

“Good morning, Souji-kun! I’m the one who is coming to your house so early in the morning, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, I was already awake after all. It’s cold outside, please come inside.”

As expected, Souji-kun’s apartment feels very lonely and empty. There is no furniture and he only has very few of his belongings inside his apartment.

There is the table that I gave him and the electric heater he has been using since he was at our place.

Also, a futon which he has been using since he was at our place.

There are no curtains in his apartment.

In the kitchen, there are only a rice cooker and a kettle. No refrigerator or microwave.

Thankfully, the stove has a grill, so I will be able to cook grilled fish for Souji-kun.

Well, it seems like we will need to buy some cooking utensils for Souji-kun as well.

“I’m going to make breakfast right away. Do you have any pots or pans?”

“I have a pot, but I don’t have a frying pan.”

“Okay, that’s fine. I’ll make miso soup and grilled fish for breakfast. I’ll prepare them quickly, so please wait a few minutes.”

“Thank you. You don’t have to rush, just take it easy.”

I hurriedly prepare the rice, turn on the rice cooker, and grill the salmon while preparing the miso soup.

Souji-kun doesn’t have a knife, so the only ingredient I put in the miso soup is wakame seaweed.

Since there is only one set of tableware, I prepare a set meal of grilled fish with miso soup for Souji-kun and make some onigiri for me with the leftover rice.

Souji seems happy as he eats the breakfast I made. He seems to enjoy it.

Souji-kun said that it has been since Obon holiday that he last had a warm home-cooked breakfast.

Seeing Souji-kun enjoy my cooking with such relish warms my heart and brings tears of joy to my eyes.

However, I decided to discuss our plans for the day with Souji-kun seriously.

“Souji-kun, let’s go shopping later. We need to buy things like a frying pan, knives, dishes, towels and curtains as well. There are many other things that I think you’ll need.”

“No, I’m fine without it. I don’t mind if it’s a little inconvenient.”

“No, it’s not okay. I understand that your money is tight, but you need to have a more decent life. If you’re living in discomfort, your spirits will dampen, you know?”

“I understand what you’re saying, however, I can barely afford rent and food expenses. I don’t have any extra money, so I don’t have any choice.”

“…don’t worry about the money. That’s why I worked so hard during the summer break.”

“Eh!? Hold on a second. What do you mean by that? You took the part-time job during summer break with the intention of helping me from the start???”

“Yeah, I want to support you, Souji-kun. I couldn’t think of anything else I could do, so I decided to save some money to support your new life.”

“I can’t accept the idea of spending your hard-earned money from your part-time job for me. You should use it for yourself.”

“I knew you would say that, that’s why I didn’t tell you my purpose of getting a part-time job. But let me do this for you, Souji-kun. I’ve been trying my best to support Souji-kun all this time. If you don’t allow me to do this, that means everything that I’ve worked so hard for will be meaningless. Please consider this as my housewarming gift for you. Let’s go shopping today. Please…”

I say so as I bow my head.

“Ami-san…But still, for me…”

Souji-kun seems to be at a loss for words.

Souji-kun doesn’t say anything and stays silent. I know that the silence a mixture of rejection and his consideration for my feelings.

I knew Souji-kun will be against this idea…

While still bowing my head, my tears start to flow naturally.