I Don’t Want to Die as a Mob in My Second Life! ～A Story Where I Kept Training from Inside the Womb and Ended Up Being Mistaken for a Monster～ - Chapter 57: Farewell to Ouma / Hello, Sewer Monsters

Chapter 57: Farewell to Ouma / Hello, Sewer Monsters

“shupii~… Father… Lord Kanata…♡”

“Looks like Riru fell asleep.”

The banquet had somehow wrapped up without any real disasters.

Carrying the silver-haired, wolf-eared girl Riru on my back,

I stepped out onto the stone-paved front entrance.

The cool night breeze felt perfect against my overheated body after all that eating.

“Well then, Ouma. Don’t work yourself sick.”

“Heh… As annoying as it is, I’ll take care. After all, I’m no longer living just for myself.”

At my words of concern, Ouma Shiranui actually smiled as he came to see me off.

It had been a productive night.

We’d sealed the deal—

A pact to lift Japan into a world power together.

That part was great.

That part was great, but—

“Someday, I’ll defeat you, Kanata. Once we conquer the world, I’ll fight to protect the future from you…!”

“I see… (Eeehhh~~~n…)”

He was blazing with fighting spirit,

Looking like he was ready to throw down right then and there!

“Sigh… (How did it even come to this?)”

I had pretty much achieved my goals.

I’d gotten friendly with the death-row unit, Yatagarasu,

And had a deep talk with Ouma Shiranui, finally securing a solid alliance.

…However.

The whole “evil judgment” thing was still ongoing.

Apparently, I was now considered a future world conqueror,

And had officially received a “I will kill you someday” declaration.

“In preparation for our eventual battle, you’ll probably continue gathering brainwashed slaves by any means necessary. But if you go too far, I will strike you down. And I, too, will raise my own forces.”

“Uh, yeah… (Like I know what you’re talking about!)”

Look—

Sure, I do want to rewrite history and make the world a place where I can live peacefully.

But I’m really not aiming to do anything evil, okay?

I’m not some bad Kanata-kun, you know!?

“—Ka-Kana-Kanata! Kana-ta…!”

“Hm?”

While I was busy thinking about how to look more innocent,

Some narrow-eyed guy came crawling toward me.

It was Shiina.

The vice-captain of Yatagarasu.

We’d met before, but… what’s up now?

“P-Please… show me—show meeeeee!”

Like a man dying of thirst reaching out for water,

He stretched out his hands toward me.

“Show you what?”

“Show me, Kanataa…! Your path of domination, where you smash everything annoying and disgusting with a smile—I want to see Kanata Soranaki’s glorious conquest!”

After saying that,

Shiina just slumped over and passed out.

Hey, hey.

I don’t know if he’s drunk or what, but if he sleeps there, he’s definitely gonna catch a cold…

“…Until then, let’s survive together, Kanata…”

“—”

Hearing those words…

Ahh.

“—Honestly. You really do love me, huh.”

I knelt down, and placed his head gently on my knee, away from the hard stone floor.

Hah.

“Sheesh. Our Supreme Commander Ouma sure is awkward.”

“Hm? What are you talking about?”

I pointed it out to Ouma.

“The death-row unit, Yatagarasu—the most sinful squad of warriors in the world. The official requirement to join them was ‘possessing rare abilities.'”

“That’s true, but what about it…?”

“And the hidden requirement—was ‘having even the slightest chance of redemption.'”

“—!?”

There are people in this world who are truly beyond saving.

The so-called ‘psychopaths’—those whose brains, either by birth or trauma, had become twisted to the point that they could kill without a shred of empathy.

For people like that, there was no choice but to eliminate them.

But—

“Ouma Shiranui, the one who founded Yatagarasu—you didn’t just want strong soldiers. You wanted to give those who still had even a tiny spark of humanity left… a chance to be saved.”

“That’s…”

“And—”

I looked down at the collapsed Shiina as I continued.

“When a member of Yatagarasu survives a thousand missions without dying—you plan to forgive them, give them a new identity and a new life, and set them free.”

“…!!”

Well, it sounded like maybe only one person had ever managed it.

Or maybe… no one yet?

“Besides, ‘Yatagarasu’ is the name of the divine bird of guidance. ‘At the end of atonement, it leads the way to a new path’—that’s probably the meaning you had in mind when you chose the name.”

“…Haa. You really are… dangerous.”

Ouma muttered in disbelief, like he couldn’t let his guard down around me.

And then—

“That was information I had no intention of telling anyone.”

…Huh?

“I doubt you’ll answer, but I’ll ask anyway. How did you know?”

“Well… (Because of my knowledge from the future—wait.)”

No. That wasn’t it.

In my first life, I was just a random mob.

Just an ordinary, good guy.

I never had anything to do with Yatagarasu.

There’s no way I could’ve known the truth behind a unit like that.

And yet—

What was I even saying just now?

“Your crimson-gold eyes, that heterochromia of yours. The crimson symbolizes the torii gate. The gold symbolizes the shrine bell. Both colors stand for ‘the power to conquer evil.'”

While I stood there confused,

Ouma suddenly lifted my chin with his fingers and forced me to meet his blood-red gaze.

“Could it be… your eyes are actually a sacred mirror that reveals all darkness?”

N-No, they’re just normal eyes!

It’s just a basic free avatar I tweaked a little to look cool, that’s all!

“Hmph. As expected of my destined rival. You’re more than worthy of being my contract partner.”

Ouma said that, strangely fired up.

Seriously…

This guy had way too much energy tonight.

“It’s truly the first time. A monster so powerful that I almost feel fear…!”

Yeah, I have no idea what you’re talking about.

Sigh.

Even though I was the one feeling confused here,

Ouma was hyping himself up all alone.

What the heck, man.

“…Well, anyway, Ouma. You know, you really tend to hide too much.”

“Hm?”

“You didn’t deny it when Rouga called you ‘Father.’ Was that your way of showing affection?”

“Mmm…”

Mmm, huh?

Yeah, no, pretty sure it didn’t get across at all.

“Ouma…”

Now that we were a little closer, I realized something.

This guy—

He’s actually kinda clueless, isn’t he?

And the worst part was,

He didn’t even realize it himself.

◆　◇　◆

And so.

“I’m home.”

“You’re LATEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!”

I finally arrived back at the Soranaki residence.

The moment I stepped through the door,

There she was—

Setsuna, the cool beauty with the sideboob and apron combo, standing there with her arms crossed, yelling at me.

Fwah.

“Why are you so mad, Setsuna? I told you I was going to a dinner party today.”

“You did—! You did, but still!!”

Setsuna was puffing up angrily, like a little pufferfish.

Seriously, what’s gotten into her?

“Kanata! You said you were just going for a ‘quick walk,’ and then you never came back! You were wandering around for more than half a day! Where have you been!?”

“Ah—”

Yeah, that was true.

Originally, I was supposed to register at the Spirit Conductor Agency and come straight home.

But then I found out about Riru and got caught up in a bunch of stuff.

“First you made me scream when I saw your horribly sketchy room full of bondage doujin and death metal CDs, and now you’re making me all anxious with your night wandering!? Is this some kind of long-distance attack!?”

“You peeked into my room…?”

Ahh—

What she saw were my Conceptual Spirits, [Ittan-momen] and [Blank Shot], merch.

It’s not like I have weird hobbies, okay?

“Setsuna, let’s just talk this out—”

“NO QUESTIONS ALLOWED!”

Snap!

She pointed at me like a cheerleader, one knee lifted dramatically.

She’s weirdly energetic too, huh.

“I know what’s going on! Kanata, you’re one of those delinquent husbands, right!? The kind who stays out without contacting his wife, randomly picks up a motorcycle hobby without asking, and even goes to sketchy clubs to buy women…!”

“Uhh…”

“But, well, you’re technically a baby, so… I guess the last two are off the table… huh?”

Setsuna then turned her gaze past me, toward the front gate.

And there—

Parked and sleeping peacefully—

Was my trusty [Motorcycle]…!

“Wait, aaaaaaaaaahhhhh!? There’s some kind of crazy spear-looking bike parked outside!? A-A-And now that I think about it, when you came back, I did hear some loud engine noises…!”

“Ah, yeah. That’s my bike.”

“Pupyaaaaaaah!?”

Setsuna let out a screech I’d never heard before.

No, wait, hold on—hold on!

Technically, it’s not just a regular bike.

It’s my Conceptual Spirit [Motorcycle].

So it’s fine, right?

…It’s fine. It has to be.

“B-BAAAD husband! Bad baby husband! DARK BABY BOO BOO!”

“C-Calm down. Let’s just talk this through—”

Just as I was about to try calming her down,

My shadow suddenly wiggled.

And then—

“Mm… Noisy… Sounds like a pig farm…”

“Ah.”

From within my shadow, a little girl in a maid outfit, shaped like a squishy squid-potato, crawled out—

It was Riru!

Using her demi-human [Werewolf] ability, she’d been sleeping hidden inside my shadow until now…

“A-Ah! I-Isn’t that Riru Shiranui…!? I heard she was turned into a criminal slave…”

“Yeah, that’s right. Lord Kanata bought me at Yoshiwara…♡”

“At Y-Yoshiwara!? You were bought!?”

With both pinkies and one foot raised high,

Setsuna struck some weird pose and shouted, “THAT’S A FULL HOUSE OF RED FLAGS!!!”

“Not just a bike—you even bought a girl tooooo!? And a loli at that!”

“Mm. I was bought for one billion. Riru is a one-billion-yen girl…♡”

“One biiiiillion!?!? E-Even for a rich Reisoushi, you actually moved that much money!? Without even telling me!?”

Ahh, well, yeah.

I kinda spent almost all of my current share from the profits of [Hihiirokane]—

The fantasy metal Ouma Shiranui was rapidly pushing into military use.

But it’s fine.

I’m planning to rake in even more cash later through Conceptual Spirit equipment and giant weapon development.

“F-For real… You’re the ultimate bad husband…! It’s like a mahjong Ron—Dark Lord Baby National Treasure Hand!”

Wait, does Setsuna like mahjong or something?

“Lord Kanataa… this one’s too noisy…”

“W-What did you just say!? Riru Shiranui —! You’re just a criminal sewer dog who attacked Kanata, and now you dare—!”

“You too, y’know. Riru knows you also attacked Lord Kanata.”

“Ngh—”

“Lord Kanata forgave you, so you got away with it. Don’t go acting high and mighty, you sewer pig.”

“N-N-N-N-N-NNGHH!?!?”

Ahh…

When Sharo from the Kirisame family and Setsuna attacked me,

Dad had called Supreme Commander Ouma.

Since they were nearby at the time, she might’ve found out about it.

It was lucky we could pretend it was a mock battle since it happened on Soranaki estate grounds, but if not…

Setsuna probably would’ve been judged and thrown into slavery too.

“Uwaaaaah! Kanata! What’s with this preschooler!? Is this your type!?”

“I’m not a preschooler! I’m a twelve-year-old lady!”

“That’s still super messed up!”

“Mmph. Just because you’re a little busty doesn’t make you better! You’re just a floozy!”

“Eh!? Wait, are you actually jealous!? Puhuhu! PUGYAHAHAHAHAHA!!”

“I’m not jealous! Boobs are just tools for raising babies! If you’re not lactating, they’re just useless fat! You fatty pig.”

“F-F-F-F-FATTTTTTTTTTTT!?!? You said it! Fine then, I’ll show you—I’ll start lactating if I tweak my mammary glands with Spiritual Body Modification!!”

“You’re disgusting.”

…The two of them glared at each other.

Then they started poking and slapping each other, yelling “Drop dead!” “You drop dead!”

and kicked off a full-blown Sewer Monster Battle.

I quietly backed away from the chaos,

Got into the bath,

And went straight to bed.

I was way too tired for this today…

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[Tips] 

Soranaki Household Character Guide (Kanata’s impressions)

Riru: 

According to Setsuna, she’s a “criminal sewer dog.”

“She’s cute, but has a filthy mouth.”

Setsuna:

According to Riru, she’s a “criminal sewer pig.”

“She’s cute, but super noisy.”

[Snow Woman]:

“Quiet but very homely. She timed it perfectly—just as I got out of the bath, she brought me warm clothes heated by the stove, and a cold barley tea. When I thanked her, she got all shy and disappeared. It was really adorable. Maybe it’s old-fashioned, but… I really think girls like that are wonderful.”

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