I Don’t Want to Die as a Mob in My Second Life! ~A Story Where I Kept Training from Inside the Womb and Ended Up Being Mistaken for a Monster~ - Chapter 51: Office Clerk: “Did He Just Flirt with His Boss on His First Day?!” / Belly-Up Guaranteed, [Motorcycle]-kun! (With Status Info)
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- I Don’t Want to Die as a Mob in My Second Life! ~A Story Where I Kept Training from Inside the Womb and Ended Up Being Mistaken for a Monster~
- Chapter 51: Office Clerk: “Did He Just Flirt with His Boss on His First Day?!” / Belly-Up Guaranteed, [Motorcycle]-kun! (With Status Info)
Chapter 51: Office Clerk: “Did He Just Flirt with His Boss on His First Day?!” / Belly-Up Guaranteed, [Motorcycle]-kun! (With Status Info)
And here we are—Spirit Conductor Agency, Saitama Branch.
As of today, this is officially my workplace.
Can’t believe I landed a job ten days after being born…
“Y-You must be Sir Kanata Soranaki! Thank you so much for coming all this way!!”
At the front desk, while the office staff trembled in fear, one female Reisoushi stood straight and saluted me.
“T-Today, I—I have the honor of personally attending to you, Sir Kanata!”
She was stiff as a board.
Oh, right. She was the one flying on the stingray earlier.
Her hair was a dark brownish-black tied in a ponytail, giving off a traditional vibe, but her eyes were a stunning shade of blue-green.
Reisoushi often have unnaturally colored hair or eyes due to their spiritual attributes, but hers felt more natural. Probably mixed heritage.
“A-Apologies for the late introduction! I am Sachiko Yoshida Kirchheis, Deputy First-Class Reisoushi and head of this branch! It is an honor to meet you, sir!”
Oh wow—so she’s the branch chief?
…Whoops. I just casually ordered her to haul [Motorcycle]-kun earlier.
“My apologies. I didn’t realize I was speaking to the branch chief.”
“Ah! Ah—no, no need to be so formal, sir! After all, you’re a Special-Class Reisoushi! If anything, I should be bowing to you!”
Sachiko Yoshida Kirchheis bobbed her head up and down with the precision of a woodpecker.
She really seemed like the super serious type.
“Alright then. Branch Chief Yoshida Kirchheis, let’s get straight to business.”
“Yes, sir! First, I’ll need you to fill out and sign a few documents.”
She handed me a small stack of papers.
Basic profile sheet, bank account info, a contract basically saying “I promise not to cause problems.” Easy stuff. Let’s go.
Academic history… womb graduate…
“But still, Sir Kanata, I must apologize for earlier.”
“Hm?”
“Even though you neutralized the rogue Conceptual Spirit, I ended up panicking. The spiritual pressure coming off of you was just… overwhelming.”
Ah, well, that’s not really her fault.
I did overtrain myself in the womb. According to the theory on how humans subconsciously react to high-energy beings, standing near me probably feels like standing next to a live nuke.
“And your face looked like… like a demon king playboy trying to seduce both men and women into sin!! A dark, sexy bishoujo overlord…!”
“…That’s a huge misunderstanding.”
What do you mean, “trying to seduce both men and women”?
I have zero interest in that stuff. I’ve been a virgin since my past life, okay!?
“Relax. I swear I won’t lay a hand on you.”
“S-Sorry, sir! Of course… someone like me, who’s totally lacking in charm, would be way outside your preferences…”
…That’s not what I meant at all!!
“Ahaha… I’ve been called a wannabe soldier girl before…”
“Don’t get the wrong idea. I just meant I’m not interested in romance. Besides, Yoshida Kirchheis, you’re more than attractive enough.”
“Huh!?”
“Your looks and your double surname give it away. You’re from the former German Grand Duchy of Grimstein, aren’t you? Judging by the way you carry yourself, I’d say you were raised in one of their knight families and trained hard from a young age.”
—About a hundred years ago, during the First Spirit Eradication War, Japan, Germany, and Italy formed the Spirit Conductor Alliance. As a sign of friendship, families of Reisoushi were married off between nations.
That’s why some people have two surnames now. Regardless of which family they married into, they’d keep one name in the records to honor the bond.
“You’re definitely a knight’s daughter. Your body’s well-toned, and your behavior is so by-the-book it’s practically textbook. You’re the complete opposite of the soft, sweet type that most guys are into.”
“Ugh…”
“But that’s what makes you great.”
“!?”
Yeah, I think it’s a good thing.
Being low on feminine charm doesn’t mean you’re not attractive.
“Your physique shows years of hard work and discipline. Your demeanor shows honesty and dedication. You’re exactly the kind of person fit to be a branch chief. I’d say your subordinates can rest easy working under someone like you.”
I glanced at the clerks nearby—still watching us cautiously.
They were clearly scared of me… but also worried about Yoshida Kirchheis.
“Looks like they really trust you.”
They must’ve built a really strong relationship.
Most office clerks don’t have spiritual power, so it’s common for there to be a cold divide between them and Reisoushi who look down on them.
The fact that she’s earned their trust proves just how genuine Yoshida Kirchheis is.
“Let me say it again—you’re a very attractive woman.”
“S-Sir Kanata!?”
To give her a bit of confidence, I gently took her hand.
“If any guy insulted you, that’s just his poor taste talking. I wouldn’t make you feel that way.”
“Fwuuuuh…!?”
“Yoshida Kirchheis. You’re more than worthy of being cherished.”
—And right at that moment…
The clerks all suddenly jumped between us like, “Noooo, stopppp!!”
…Wait, what!?
“P-Please don’t corrupt the branch chief!!”
“She’s a total stickler for the rules, but that’s what makes her so lovable—don’t eat her!!”
“Please don’t make Miss Yoshida Kirchheis retire early for marriage—she’s all we have!!”
What the heck are you people talking about!?
◆ ◇ ◆
“U-Um, t-then! If your paperwork is all done, let’s talk about your reward…!”
“Yeah, sure.”
Yoshida Kirchheis’s face was bright red.
…It seems she totally misunderstood.
She thinks I was hitting on her…!
No, hold on! That’s not it, okay!?
Sure, I said she’s attractive and worthy of being cherished—but that just meant someone could fall for her. Not that I was trying to!
“Sorry about that. I should’ve chosen my words more carefully. Just forget it ever happened.”
“Y-Y-Yes, of course…! Sir Kanata, since you’re already engaged, I’ll make sure to keep it a secret from everyone…!”
“Yeah, please do.”
“A-A secret relationship, then…!”
Looks like she’s willing to keep my slip-up under wraps.
Good. That works.
“Ahem! Let’s move on to the next topic. Based on the spiritual energy it gave off, the [Motorcycle] Conceptual Spirit is estimated to be mid-level, so we’ll be awarding you a bounty of one million yen.”
Nice. I’m grabbing a mountain of beef bowls on the way home.
“And since you successfully captured the Conceptual Spirit [Motorcycle], there’s also a special reward—three million—”
Right at that moment, vroom vroom—the sound of an engine cut through the air.
The battered remains of [Motorcycle]-kun suddenly leapt off a truck parked outside and rolled straight into the lobby!
It stumbled through the automatic doors and flopped onto the floor in front of the reception desk. The clerks all screamed in terror.
“What?! It was supposed to be transported to the sealed zone! Were the restraints too loose!?”
“Kyain… kyaiiiin…”
[Motorcycle]-kun let out a weak, pitiful whimper.
Huh? I thought he was back for revenge… but something feels different?
“Kyauu…!”
The moment [Motorcycle]-kun reached me, he flopped onto his back with a thud.
Just like a dog exposing its belly in submission.
…No way.
“—Kanataa~ This guy’s saying, ‘My deepest apologies, Captain Kamikaze!’”
“[Doll].”
[Doll] squirmed out from my chest, as usual.
…Wait, for real? Is he submitting to me?
“I don’t know who made me a kamikaze captain, but… is this your way of saying you want a soul contract?”
“Kyan! Kyan!”
[Motorcycle]-kun barked like a puppy.
Well—if he’s on board, I’m good with it too.
“Alright. Then get a taste of my spiritual power.”
He’s probably into wind, fire, and lightning types.
I mixed those attributes in my hand, then touched what looked like his gas tank and let the energy flow in. And then—
“GYUAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNN!!!! ♡”
“‘NGHHHHHHHHHHH! It’s too thick!! This is totally unhealthy!! This ultra-heavy, stomach-churning flavor of spiritual energy—it’s basically gasoline! It’s soaking into every gear of my soul~! ♡’ —that’s what he’s saying~”
Glad he likes it.
…Though yeah, my spiritual energy does have a bit of a reputation for being way too thick to be healthy.
“Nn.”
I felt it deep in my chest—something connecting directly to my soul.
Yep, that was the sensation of a completed Soul Contract.
[Motorcycle]-kun dissolved into particles of spiritual energy and was absorbed into me.
At that moment, the Conceptual Spirit case in my hand chirped, “Beep-Beep. Status updated.” A glowing window appeared in front of me.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
Name: Kanata Soranaki
Age: 0 (Born April 1st, Holy Calendar 2030)
Occupation: Spirit Conductor (Reisoushi)
Affiliation: Saitama Branch
Rank: Special-Class
Spiritual Attributes: Fire / Water / Earth / Wind / Lightning
Spiritual Power Level: EX
Spiritual Pathways: EX
Skill Proficiency: Spirit Hosting: C+ /Object Imbuing: B/ Charm Crafting: C+/ Curse Wielding: D+
Contracted Spirits: [Doll] (High-Class) /[Blank Shot] (High-Class)/ [Ittan-momen] (High-Class)/ [Hihiirokane] (High-Class)/ [Motorcycle] (Mid-Class)
Notes:
Third son of the Soranaki family (Court Rank: Junior Third Rank).
Behavioral issues.
Under consideration for extermination.
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“You’ve even got a function like that…?”
Well, anyway—fifth Conceptual Spirit, acquired.
“Sorry about that, Branch Chief. As you can see, I went ahead and formed a contract with the Conceptual Spirit.”
“N-No, no, no, no! Sir Kanata, you’re now a vital asset to the Saitama Branch. I have no complaints about you getting stronger!”
Yoshida Kirchheis looked genuinely happy.
A vital asset, huh. Well… I guess that makes sense for the Saitama Branch.
“Ahaha… Compared to our neighbor Tokyo, Saitama doesn’t stand out much. And since branch members are required to live within the prefecture, we have fewer Reisoushi willing to join…”
She let out a deep sigh and slumped her shoulders.
The fewer the Reisoushi, the harder the workload gets. Fewer missions get completed. Fewer Conceptual Spirits get defeated.
And just like with [Motorcycle] earlier, when you’re understaffed and someone slips through in a populated area, the damage spreads—and you get some seriously cold stares at the monthly ‘Branch Chief Conference.’
After all, Spirit Conductor Agency branches are made up of frontline combatants. Results are everything.
“I don’t care if people mock me. But when innocent citizens get hurt because we’re short on manpower—that I can’t bear. That’s why, Sir Kanata… I’m truly honored to have you with us!”
Yoshida Kirchheis gave another sharp salute.
Yeah… she really was a good woman.
…Though one thing bugged me. In the future, I never once heard her name.
With her rank as a Deputy First-Class and the position of branch chief, you’d expect to hear something—assuming she was still alive, anyway…
“Well, from now on, you can rely on me. I swear I’ll support you for the long haul.”
“Hahi…!”
Nice. Unlike the neighbors, I actually managed to hold a decent conversation here.
While I was thinking, “Not bad for my first day—already got along with my boss!”—
The automatic doors opened, and a few Reisoushi walked in, chatting amongst themselves.
“You hear? That demi-human Riru Shiranui got sentenced as a criminal slave and is being auctioned off.”
“Yeah. Apparently, requests to buy her came flooding in, so they’re holding it tonight.”
“Can’t be helped. Anyone would want to break her in. She almost smeared mud on Lord Ouma’s honor, after all…”
…That was the kind of conversation they were having.
So, she really was labeled a criminal slave…
At least that means she gets to stay alive.
It’s still better than being sent to Yatagarasu, where they strip you of everything—including the right to live—but even so, it’s a harsh sentence.
Reisoushi are living weapons. If they go out of control, it’s only natural they face severe punishment.
“I’ll deliver righteous judgment on that woman myself!”
—…Huh?
One of the men said that out loud, and the others nodded along.
…None of them were victims. None of them had anything to do with it.
And yet here they were, acting like heroes, talking about how they were gonna “punish” or “teach a lesson” to the girl who’d fought me with her life on the line.
All with these smug, self-righteous expressions on their faces.
“Hey.”
Before I realized it, I had already spoken up.
“Hm? What do you—wait, Kanata Soranaki!?”
“Stop screaming.”
More importantly—
“Tell me where and when the auction is. You’ve got three seconds.”
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[Tips]
Womb Graduate: The highest level of education Kanata has achieved.
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Thank you for so many chapters 🙏🙏🙏
I thought nobody was reading so i stopped updating
I quite enjoy the story of Kanata. So thank you for giving us such a fun series.