I Don’t Want to Die as a Mob in My Second Life! ～A Story Where I Kept Training from Inside the Womb and Ended Up Being Mistaken for a Monster～ - Chapter 33: Battle Start! The Swamp Monster Brawl!

Chapter 33: Battle Start! The Swamp Monster Brawl!

During the lunch break:

“Brother, here’s lunch.”

“Why would I eat with someone like you?!”

Yeah, I figured.

“Oh no, it’s not for you. Could you return it to Yamada and Tanaka?”

“Whaaat?!”

Michio’s face turned bright red. Oh? What’s this reaction?

“Did you misunderstand something?”

“Shut up!”

Michio snapped, yelled at me, and then stormed off, shoulders hunched, disappearing somewhere.

Sigh. What am I supposed to do with these lunchboxes now?

“I’ll take care of it!”

“Oh, [Doll]?”

My spirit companion, [Doll], suddenly popped out, looking unusually enthusiastic.

She’s usually lazing around inside my soul, reading figurine magazines, but now she’s fired up.

“I’ll return them!”

“Alright then, I’ll leave it to you. Just let them know they’re not needed.”

“Got it!”

I handed over the two lunch boxes given to me by the teen duo, Yamada and Tanaka.

“Heave-ho!”

The tiny [Doll] picked up the two boxes, which were way bigger than her, and floated off in their direction.

Well, that’s sorted.

“Kanata said he doesn’t need them~. You two are ‘not needed,’ he said~.”

“Huh? What’s that supposed to—wait, is that a halo on your head?! Uwaaaah! It’s a high-level spirit!!!”

“This thing’s definitely Kanata Soranaki’s bonded spirit! Aaaaahhh! He must’ve been upset about the lunchbox contents!!! We’re going to dieeeee!!!”

“Kya-hahahahaha!”

That didn’t help at all.

“What is she even doing…?”

The boys were now even more terrified. They’d completely misunderstood “[not needed]” to mean their lives weren’t needed, and they were running for their lives. [Doll], of course, was gleefully chasing after them.

“Hey, [Doll], knock it off already.”

“Ohhh, Kanata has granted you mercy! Rejoice, boys!”

““Y-Yes, ma’am!!!””

Seriously, what am I even letting her do!?

“Sigh… (What’s the point of scaring people so much they start fearing me by association?)”

Is [Doll] enjoying watching my second-chance life spiral into a negative rating? If so, I’m gonna cry. Seriously, I’ll cry.

“Oh, there you are, Kanata.”

Right then, Setsuna—the cool and composed beauty—approached me.

“Situations like this are such a hassle. Everyone keeps trying to talk to me.”

Setsuna sighed in exasperation. As her shoulders slumped, her chest… well, let’s just say it moved noticeably.

…And, uh, even here in a crowd of kids, her sideboob was completely out in the open.

She was attracting a lot of stares. Is she some kind of destroyer of people’s self-control?

“Hmm… (How is she both trusted by Ouma Shiranui and admired by other Reisoushis while dressing like that?)”

Where did I go wrong?

“W-Why are you staring at me like that?!”

“Nothing, really. So, what’s up?”

“What do you mean, what’s up? It’s about lunch! Mr. Maro made us all some food—let’s eat together!”

Oh, right. Gotta recharge for the mock battles in the second half.

“Kanata, you may be strong, but you’re also a big eater. That’s your only flaw. Whoever marries you is going to have a hard time keeping up…”

Haha. As if anyone would marry this second-round version of me. I’m treated like a walking monster, after all.

…Still, Setsuna is surprisingly nice to me, considering our first meeting wasn’t exactly great.

“W-What’s with that look? Are you planning to insult me again?!”

“No, I was just thinking how kind you are, Miss Setsuna.”

“Wha—!?!?”

Alright, let’s dig into this lunch!

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“Hohoho! The key to a good lunch is that it’s still delicious when cold. And for that, nothing beats rice balls and rolled omelets, de ojaru. When cooled, their flavors actually stand out more, de ojaru.”

“So good… so, so good…”

As always, Maro’s cooking was incredible.

The rice balls were seasoned to perfection, with ten different fillings to choose from: salmon, pickled plum, beef, mentaiko, tuna mayo, shrimp tempura, cod roe, pork stew, takana, and salmon roe.

The fluffy rolled omelets came in equally varied flavors: spinach and cheese, green onion and sakura shrimp, crab stick and mayonnaise, minced meat and garlic chives.

There was also the classic fried chicken, sausages, and even a thermos full of miso soup.

Truly, Maro’s cooking was on another level. It was simple yet endlessly enjoyable, and above all, incredibly delicious.

Maro’s culinary skills are definitely Special-Class.

“Fufun, do you like it, de ojaru?”

“Good, good, so good, so good, so good, so good, so good, so good, so good, so good…”

“Listen to me, de ojaru! You’re eating way too much, as usual, de ojaru!”

Just as I was biting into my 20th rice ball, a shrill voice echoed from the center of the field, sounding like a tortured soul finally begging for release.

“I-IT’S DONEEE…! FINALLYYY~! WE’RE FREEEEEE~!”

Looking over, I saw nine Moyokos collapsed on the ground, utterly drained, next to a newly formed giant crystal.

“Huff… huff… The Killing Stone… is re-formed…! We can restart the spiritual energy measurement now…!”

“Oh, nice.”

That was faster than I expected. Good job, team.

At Moyoko’s prompting, the waiting kids began lining up to resume their measurements.

“Next up, it’s my turn, de gojaru!”

Oh, it’s Sharo.

I decided to watch while munching on my shrimp tempura rice ball.

Sharo noticed me too and waved enthusiastically. “Kanataaa!” So cute.

“SHAROOOOOOO!!! DO YOUR BESTTTTTTT!!!”

…Setsuna, you’re way too loud.

“Oh, it’s the brat from the Kirisame family.”

“I’m not a brat, de gojaru! You fox hag!”

“A brat would say that… Anyway, I heard you’ve been training at the Soranaki household during the free study period before the exam.”

The Spirit Conductor Academy often has “free attendance periods.”

During these times, students can choose to attend classes or not—it’s entirely up to them.

The purpose is to allow students to prepare for work immediately after earning their Reisoushi qualification.

These periods are often used for various activities: being summoned back home for social parties or marriage arrangements, undergoing secret training to outdo rival families, and so on.

Sharo came to our place during one of these free periods.

“Oh, looks like we’re running out of time. Sharo Kirisame, go ahead and start.”

“Gojya~!”

With brimming enthusiasm, Sharo placed her hands on the Killing Stone.

The giant crystal slowly turned red from the bottom upward…

“Result: 3.3 meters. Spiritual energy rank: D. Well, that’s average.”

“Gojyaa…”

Sharo slumped her shoulders in disappointment.

When it comes to spiritual energy levels, it can’t be helped.

To increase spiritual energy, you need to expand your Spiritual Pathways, which is like growing additional blood vessels.

There’s no way to make a dramatic improvement in just a week.

…Unless you’re still a fetus, that is.

“Ehhh, Kanataa, I failed, de gojaru! I wanted to look cool, get an SSS rank, and be showered with praise, de gojaru! But D rank? That’s trash, de gojaru!”

“Are you picking a fight with me?”

“G-Gojaaa?!”

Ah, crap.

I almost lost my temper because in my first life, I was a D rank too.

“I’m sorry. I realized that statement might make those with D rank or lower feel uncomfortable.”

“I-I see, de gojaru…! Everyone, I’m sorry, so sorry, de gojaru!”

Tearing up, Sharo bowed her head repeatedly. What a good kid.

Meanwhile, Moyoko muttered with a conflicted expression, “Y-You… you don’t listen to me, but you listen to Kanata?”

“Because Kanata is a dark handsome pretty boy.”

What even is a “dark, handsome, pretty boy”?

“Compared to him, the fox hag is just a shrill shorty who screeches all the time, de gojaru. It’s annoying, like being bossed around by someone younger, de gojaru.”

“Excuse me?! I’m 300 years old! And if we’re counting age, Kanata is technically zero, isn’t he?!”

“And the fox hag’s speech is weird, too.”

“Like you’re one to talk!”

…As always, Sharo is just being Sharo.

“Hah, what an insufferably bratty little goblin. You’re going to cause no end of trouble for everyone in the future.”

Moyoko sighed.

But “in the future” doesn’t exist for this world’s first timeline.

Because in a month and a half, Sharo will be killed by the top-tier Conceptual Spirit of [Erasure].

“Hm… (In this second life, I’ll have to do something about it.)”

Sharo might have a bratty, rotten personality, but it’s not bad enough that she deserves to die.

If she looks like she’s about to charge in recklessly like in the first timeline, I’ll stop her no matter what.

It’s not just her—dozens of other Reisoushis are also fated to die. I’ll save them too.

Otherwise, what’s the point of becoming stronger?

I’ll need plenty of allies to survive the [Regression] War, whether it happens 23 years from now or sooner.

“Hey, Kanata, why are you staring at my Sharo?! You can’t have her!”

“I don’t want her. (Once I get my Reisoushi qualification, I might travel around while working and check on people.)”

Ignoring Setsuna’s indignant shaking, I focused on planning for the future.

I learned something important from acquiring [Hihiirokane] recently.

Saving a Reisoushi’s life doesn’t just mean physically protecting them—there are so many other ways to support them.

For example, I could help those who are destined to fall and become Mediums, turning them into valuable allies instead—

“Whattttt!? You don’t want my Sharo!? How dare you! She’s my precious little sister, you know!”

Setsuna, you’re so loud.

“Fine, then I do want her, okay?”

“!? There’s only one way for you to make my Sharo your sister… Could it be?!”

“Huh?”

As Setsuna started blushing and muttering something incomprehensible, a cheer erupted from the direction of the spiritual energy measurement area.

“Hinami Soranaki, spiritual energy rank: A! That’s incredible, just like her brother!”

“Hmph, so how does that compare to my little brother?”

“D-Don’t ask in such an obviously spiteful way!”

“Tch.”

Yep, that’s Hinami for you.

Much like Michio, she’s got a personality that’s… something else.

She seemed to be in quite the sour mood too.

“Haaah, well, whatever. An A rank in spiritual energy is so rare, you know? Not like the swarms of D-rankers out there, who’re basically like background extras in a game~~.”

“Gojak…!?”

Hinami delivered her jab.

Her tone was perfectly calibrated to just barely reach Sharo, who was standing about five meters away.

A true art form—the kind of skill only someone with a personality as rotten as hers could master.

“HINAMI! Are you mocking me, de gojaru?!”

“Haaah? I wasn’t even talking to you, okay?”

“You rotten woman! Go die, de gojaru!”

“Hah!? You’re the rotten one! YOU die!”

…And so, the Swamp Monster Battle began.

“Sharo! For someone born into the prestigious Kirisame family, you’re totally useless at techniques, aren’t you? Did your sister suck all your talent away or something!?”

“And compared to Kanataa, you’re the useless one, de gojaru.”

“Excuse meee!?”

Both of them might be beautiful girls, sure.

But this was like watching a sewer shrimp and a rat go at it—there was nothing remotely elegant about it.

“You’re dead! Just wait for the second half’s mock battle, you brat!”

“You’re the one who should prepare, de gojaru, Hinakus!“

“Who are you calling Hinakus!?”

They were throwing insults left and right, making the atmosphere unbearable.

But honestly, it looked like Sharo was getting the upper hand this time.

“W-What’s with you, Sharo? You used to cry whenever I teased you… Why are you talking back now?!”

“Sharo has changed, de gojaru! I’m not afraid of you or Michio anymore, de gojaru!”

Atta girl, Sharo.

“Because Kanata put me through much scarier, more intense play!”

…I swear I’ll kill you, Sharo.

“Wha-?! Intense play?! Don’t tell me you’ve climbed the ladder to adulthood before me…!”

And just as the conversation was veering into dangerous territory, Moyoko burst out in tears, yelling, “Stop it right nooooow!”

There were kids everywhere, after all.

Hang in there, Professor.

“Hey, black-suit! Silence those brats!”

“Double brat suppression, understood!”

““Mmphhh!?””

The creepy black-suit guy darted in with inexplicable high-speed movement and subdued the rotten duo in an instant.

Victory for the loli enthusiasts, I guess.

“Haaah, what a hassle… Well, whatever. Since we were just about to discuss the mock battles, listen up, everyone!”

Moyoko clapped her hands sharply, catching our attention.

For some reason, the black-suit guy blushed. Seriously, fire him already.

“Now then, those brats and anyone else still waiting for their spiritual energy measurement will be considered the second group. They’ll need to finish their physical ability test next, but that would create a gap in spiritual energy levels compared to the first group, who’ve already completed the test and had time to rest, right?”

Yeah, that makes sense.

“So! The first group, who’ve already rested, will now engage in mock battles among themselves!”

Ah, I see. That levels the playing field.

“While the first group is fighting, the second group can finish their tests, take a break, and then enter their battles fully prepared. They’ll fight each other within their group.”

In other words, they’ve split the matchups in half to make things fair.

“Kanataaa…! I’ll be taking back my rightful spotlight as the main character…!”

Michio glared at me fiercely.

It looked like I might end up fighting him.

“Sharoo…! I’ve never liked you, not even a little!”

Hinami glared daggers at Sharo.

Looks like the Swamp Monster Battle might be heading for round two.

“Hm, how do I put this…”

I decided to say what was on my mind.

“Everyone I’m associated with seems to have major personality issues.”

“You’re the worst one of the bunch, YOU IDIOT!!!” 

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[Tips]

Swamp:

A term derived from “soil decay” or “deep mud.”

Broadly, it refers to places where sewage flows.

Underground sewers, in particular, remain dangerous even in modern, well-lit times. The darkness that fills these places often attracts the fear and imagination of people, which makes them a hotspot for Conceptual Spirits.

Since these areas are rarely visited, they sometimes become hideouts for Mediums.

Sharo Kirisame: Thinks the sly and sarcastic Hinami is a “swamp rat.”

“I’ll kill her~, de gojaru!

Hinami Soranaki: Thinks the chaotic and wild Sharo is a “shrimp that lives in the swamp.”

“Kill her!”

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