Chapter 48: Not Just as a Partner

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Rin’s POV

After leaving the private room and being led along by Marie-san tugging on my arm, we arrived at a luxurious lounge tucked away in a corner of the floor. Beyond the full glass wall, the cityscape spread out, bathed in the soft light of the afternoon.

“Phew! Finally free. There are so many things I can’t ask when the boys are around, it’s embarrassing!”

Marie-san dropped deeply into the sofa, shedding the mask of the “noisy big sister” she’d worn earlier and replacing it with a slightly sultry, mature woman’s smile.

“…Marie-san, please don’t lean in so much. It’s embarrassing.”

I intertwined my fingers in my lap and lowered my gaze, my face burning red. Yuki-san sat beside me, gently rubbing my back.

“It’s fine, Haru-chan. Despite how she looks, Marie-san has spent the past three years watching your exchanges with Kazu-kun while writhing and muttering ‘So precious…!’ …Today is basically a little ‘answer-checking ceremony,’ you know.”

“Even you too, Yuki-san… …Answer-checking sounds way too dramatic. We’re just partners—”

“Oh really!? Just partners!? After seeing that devoted caretaking at the buffet, you can still say that with a straight face?”

Marie-san leaned in, grinning as she peered into my face.

… …Stupid. My mouth. If I were Haru, I could snap back with, “Shut up, old lady!” But right now, I was Rin Shinonome, the one wearing this dress I chose because Kazu told me I was “beautiful.”

“…Marie-san… I’m just comfortable knowing that Kazu understands who I really am on the inside. …At school, everyone calls me an ‘angel’ or ‘perfect,’ but… that’s not true at all. …I’m foul-mouthed, selfish, nothing like that image. …And if Kazu, the one who laughs with that awful side of me as ‘Haru,’ isn’t beside me… Sometimes it feels like I can’t breathe properly…”

Putting it into words made my chest tighten painfully.

Three years ago… From the day I picked up that clumsy knight (Kazu) in the sea of electrons,

my world had been slowly but unmistakably repainted. The “true feelings” no one else believed in… He alone trusted the voice of a faceless me and kept standing by my side.

“…So Kazu is… He is my best friend. Nothing more, nothing less. …Lately, when I see him being doted on by other people at school, somehow… it feels like my partner is being taken away, and I get a little irritated…”

Keeping my head down, I desperately tried to weave words that emphasized “friendship.” But when Marie-san heard that, she let out an amused snort.

“…Haru-chan. …You really don’t realize it yourself, do you?”

“…Huh?”

“Listen. I’ll teach you. This is coming from a twenty-eight-year-old marriage-hunting warrior big sister. …That ‘irritation’ and that ‘hard-to-breathe feeling’? That’s not possessiveness as a partner. …That’s what you call ‘love’ as a girl.”

“—!? N-no, it’s not! Love or anything like that! That’s too dramatic—”

“You’re just pretending to be a best friend. Completely unconscious of it. …Ahhh, this is the best! Thank you for the meal!!”

Marie-san writhed around on the sofa. My face felt like it was on fire, and I pressed both hands to my cheeks.

“Blushing Haru-chan is so cute. Right, Yuki-san?!”

Yuki-san quietly smiled and took my hand.

“Fufu. Yes. …Haru-chan… you’ve spent so long trying to play the role of ‘perfect girl’ at school that you’ve just become a little dull to your own true feelings. …But in front of Kazu-kun, you can take that armor off, can’t you? …If thinking of him makes your chest tighten… that’s proof you’ve completely entrusted your heart to him.”

“…My chest… tightening…”

As if chewing over Yuki-san’s words, I closed my eyes.

When I went to the café with Saki, the natural kindness with which Kazu avoided blueberries for me… During the sports festival, the warmth of his big hand when he tightly held mine on the rooftop…. Those straightforward eyes that said, completely seriously, something so lacking in delicacy like, “Your place beside me is my reserved seat.”

…No. …It’s not. …It shouldn’t be…

Even though my head denied it…

Not as a partner…

my heart had been beating irregularly ever since, just from hearing his name.

“…But Kazu thinks of me as a best friend and I don’t want to ruin what we have now. …So liking him, or things like that… not yet…”

“Nihihi. …Well, isn’t that fine for now? Sometimes it’s more fun to stay unaware!”

Marie-san lightly patted my head.

“Come on, look in the mirror. …Look at yourself, cheeks all red, desperately insisting ‘That’s not it!’ …That alone already has more than enough of an answer written all over it.”

The large mirror on the lounge wall.

Reflected there was not the composed ‘Rin Shinonome’ from school. Not ‘Haru,’ acting tough behind a voice changer. Just a single, endearingly ordinary girl, thinking about the person she loved, her face dyed bright red.

…That’s not true. …I’m still… Kazu’s ‘partner’…

I told myself that in my heart, but my fingertips were gripping the hem of my dress tightly.

“Alright… shall we head back soon? …I’m sure Kazu-kun is waiting with great anticipation. …Haru-chan… cherish how you feel right now until the day you can give it a name yourself.”

“…Yes. …Thank you very much, Yuki-san.”

I let out a deep breath, as if to cool the heat inside me, and stood up.

I still couldn’t say it clearly. The word “love” was far too heavy for me right now. But… The fact that I could return to that awkward knight (Kazu) waiting on the other side of the door… That, more than anything, made me happy, proud, and excited. That truth was already carved so deeply into my heart that I could no longer deceive myself.

“Alright! Who’s going for seconds on dessert!? Haru-chan, come pick with Onee-san!”

“…Ah—yes! I’ll go!”

With slightly floaty steps, I took a step toward the private room. The door opened. My eyes met Kazu’s.

For a moment, he widened his eyes in surprise at my face, then smiled a little shyly and said, “…Welcome back.”

The instant I saw that expression, I felt my cheeks, ones I thought I’d cooled in the lounge, heat up all over again.

“…Nihihi… I’m home, Kazu.”

In a voice only he could hear, I greeted him and sat back down in my “reserved seat” beside him. 

A June Saturday where it felt like I might trip while climbing a step of the staircase to adulthood. Our offline meetup was now heading toward the best possible finale.

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