I Confessed My Sexual Preferences to My Online Game Best Friend, and the Person Who Showed Up at the Offline Meetup Was the Cute Girl from My Class - 29

Chapter 29: When I Look Beside Me

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The May twilight slowly melted into the curtain of night. In front of us, sitting side by side on the riverbank embankment, a single bird skimmed the surface of the water and flew away. The wind should have been growing colder little by little, and yet only my right side, the side sitting next to Shinonome-san (Haru) felt strangely warm.

“…Hey, Kazu. It’s quiet, isn’t it?”

Still hugging her knees, Shinonome-san muttered softly. That voice was neither the boy-avatar voice changer tone I used to hear mixed with noise over voice chat, nor the “angelic” voice that rang through the classroom under dozens of gazes at school. It was simply the voice of an ordinary girl you could find anywhere yet to me, it was the most familiar voice in the world.

“…Yeah. …It’s hard to believe the station area was that noisy earlier.”

“Hehe. Maybe it’s because Saki’s gone. When she’s around, that spot turns into a festival.”

Shinonome-san gave a small laugh and peeked at my profile as if stealing a glance.

“…W-What?”

“Nothing. …I was just thinking it’s been a while since I really looked at your face, Kazu. …Ah, wait! That didn’t mean anything weird! At school we pretend to be strangers, and before this Saki kept teasing you the whole time.”

“…I feel like I was looking at your face all day too. …Well, more like I was keeping watch. I was nervous you might accidentally call me ‘Kazu.’”

“That’s so mean! I was perfect, wasn’t I!? …But yeah. …I really felt like I worked hard being ‘Rin Shinonome’ today.”

Saying that, Shinonome-san looked up at the sky and let out a long, deep sigh. In that instant when the tension left her shoulders, I felt the weight of the “idol” she carried all over again. The sun of the school. The perfect beauty. Someone everyone admired from a distance. But the one here right now was the foul-mouthed “partner” who had spent three years leveling up with me in the mud of the digital sea.

“…Hey, Haru.”

“Hmm?”

“…Do you remember when you sent me a friend request for the first time three years ago?”

At my question, she blinked in surprise, then narrowed her eyes fondly.

“Of course I remember. You charged a high-level boss in starter gear and got beaten to a pulp and died, right? I thought, ‘What’s with this clueless frontliner?’ and ended up helping you.”

“…Hey, don’t call me clueless. I was serious back then. …But yeah. That was when your ‘voice’ entered my world.”

I looked down at my hands. For three years, we had lived separated by the wall of a display screen. I had no idea what expression she wore when she laughed, what shampoo she used, or how her shoulders trembled when she was angry. The only thing I had was the digitized waveform flowing from a cheap headset. And yet, relying on that waveform alone, I believed I understood the “inside” of the person called Rin Shinonome better than anyone.

“…It’s strange. Until now, to hear your voice I had to turn on the power, log in, and switch to the right channel. …Now, if I just look beside me, you’re there.”

“…Yeah.”

“I don’t have to log in. I don’t need a voice changer. …You’re just there. If the wind blows, I can see your hair sway. If you breathe out, I can hear it. …We were together for three years, but all of this is… I don’t know, it feels incredibly ‘fresh.’”

My clumsy confession. As “Kazuma Sato” at school, I would never have said something like that. If Kaito heard me, he would have laughed and said, “Kazuma, are you in poetry mode or what?” But Rin, sitting beside me, didn’t laugh. She gently reached out and played with the grass on the embankment with her fingertips.

“…I was thinking the same thing.”

Shinonome-san(Haru)’s voice was gentle, soaking into the quiet night.

“…I loved hearing your voice over voice chat too, Kazu. …But when you’re next to me like this… I can feel that you’re not just data. I can feel that you’re really ‘human.’ Warm, a little clumsy, always trying your best to protect me… I can feel that through the air.”

She turned toward me. Her eyes reflected the first evening star, glistening, and my heart began to beat irregularly.

“Three years ago, I never imagined I’d be watching a sunset like this with a boy from my class. …Kazu. I realized it again today… To me, you’re… The one and only ‘partner’ in the world. No one could ever replace you.”

“…”

“…Best friends, okay? …Don’t get the wrong idea.”

Flustered, she quickly looked away to hide her bright red face. Best friends. I accepted that convenient word she offered without hesitation. Right now, it felt like the most comfortable answer. Rin Shinonome, the most beautiful girl in the school. For someone plain like me, a background character with no standout traits who went straight home after school, standing beside her was far above my station.

But as “partners”… As “best friends who had shared life and death for three years”…  With that title, I felt like I could keep sitting in this luxurious front-row seat forever.

“…Yeah. I know. Someone as selfish as you? I’ll only accept you as a partner.”

“…Hmph! Without me, you’d still be dying out there in starter gear!”

The usual. The usual exchange between Haru and Kazu. And yet, I knew. Deep inside my chest, beneath the excuse of “we’re best friends” and “we’re partners,” a heat I could no longer suppress was melting and spreading. The white shoulder peeking out from the gap of her off-shoulder top as she laughed beside me.

The breath that brushed against me unexpectedly. I knew those weren’t born from simple friendship. But I wouldn’t name it yet. Because I wanted to keep this happy “lie” going for even one more day.

“…Hey, Haru.”

“Hmm?”

“…Thanks for today. I’ll thank Ichinose-san myself later too.”

“Nihihi. …It’s fine. I’ll thank her too. …Hey, Kazu.”

“What?”

“…Don’t you dare be late logging in tonight, okay? The ‘Rin Shinonome’ in real life is nice and all, but the ‘Haru’ in the game wants plenty of your attention too.”

With that, she tightly grabbed the sleeve of my shirt.

“…Even if you didn’t say it, I know. Let’s hurry home and get ready to log in.”

“Yeah! …Oh, I’m hungry. Can we stop by the convenience store on the way back?”

“…You just had pancakes.”

“It’s fine! Today’s special! Come on, let’s go, Kazu!”

Instead of holding my hand, she forcefully grabbed my arm and pulled me to my feet. Her back as she ran down the embankment. Her black hair danced in the twilight. As I chased after her, I looked up at the moon beginning to rise in the night sky.

..Three years of afterimages. …No, that’s not it.

What I was chasing now… What I was feeling the warmth of now… Wasn’t some illusion on the other side of a screen. It was the most selfish, the cutest, and the most precious person in the world. It was Rin Shinonome, who was right here beside me.

At the station ticket gate, we looked at a LINE message from Ichinose-san that read, 『Don’t just flirt with each other! Make sure you walk Rin-rin home properly! (lol)』 and we both blushed and laughed at the same time.

“…We really can’t beat her.”

“…Yeah. …But starting tomorrow school might be a little more fun.”

“Hehe. …Yeah. You’re right, Sato-kun.”

Shinonome-san called me “Sato-kun” only at the very end, smiling with the perfect “Haru” expression. Our Sunday was spent as more than best friends, less than lovers. The May wind gently wrapped around our backs, as if matching our awkward steps together.

Tomorrow. When our eyes met in the classroom, would we pretend to be strangers again? No. Perhaps we would act out a relationship just a little closer than before.

The “secret” behind our glances, dyed in the color of today’s sunset, would never fade away again.

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T/N: I suppose I would be confused too if the gaming buddies I thought was a fellow guy turned out to be a girl. I wouldn’t be able to immediately change my feelings into ‘love’ either.