I Chose the Plain Girl Instead of the Class’s Top Three Beauties, and Somehow She Became the Heroine - 14

Chapter 14: A Feeling I’m Experiencing for the First Time

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《Hiroko Anno’s POV》

In the morning, I made a small fist in front of the mirror.

“…Okay.”

I shifted my parting half a step with the pads of my fingers. The black hairpin went above my ear. The lenses were clear from edge to edge. The ribbon was centered. I switched on the posture switch my big sister had taught me. I imagined being gently lifted from above by a thin string. Something in the center of my chest felt just a little brighter. I wanted to talk with Mukei-kun again today.

The classroom was buzzing with talk about Miura-san, so I didn’t have any chance to speak with him. During lunch break, Mukei-kun was eating with Takatou-kun, and before I knew it, he had disappeared, so I chased after him. The bench behind the school building was empty.

Where could he be? From the direction of the gym, I heard a dry sound.

Basun, basun.

When I peeked through the crack of the door, Asuka Hino-san was bouncing a basketball. Her bangs stuck slightly to her forehead with sweat, but her eyes were straight and focused. Then Mukei-kun walked in.

“Here I go.”

“Got it.”

Even with just those few words, it felt like their breathing matched. When Hino-san broke through, Mukei-kun chased her. When Mukei-kun cut with his steps, Hino-san moved to intercept. Their rhythm matched, and the pass melted softly between their hands. They were close. The fact I hadn’t known that hit me in the front of my chest for the first time. The moment after I thought Mukei-kun really was cool, Hino-san nearly collapsed and Mukei-kun caught her.

My chest tightened painfully, like it was being squeezed. The air in the gym was bright, but I found myself turning my eyes away. In the afternoon classes, I drew a circle on the lines of my notebook, then erased it. Drew it again, and erased it. Mukei-kun’s voice lingered in my head, like it had soaked into the wooden grain of the gym at noon. 

Why were he and Hino-san so close? They had never shown that kind of behavior before. No—that wasn’t true. I didn’t actually know. I hadn’t been watching Mukei-kun all the time. I didn’t know everything about him.

After school, on the train. I had noticed that Mukei-kun was in the same car as me. But when our eyes met, I didn’t know what to do, so I slipped into an empty corner seat that opened up by luck. I opened my paperback. I aligned the corner of the page with my thumb.

Calm down. Calm down.

We had ended up on the same train a few times before, but ever since I started becoming aware of him, I got nervous. Printed words were always an ally. They made the sound of my heartbeat just a little quieter. Gradually, I managed to settle down. When the announcement for the next stop played, only the edge of the air stiffened. I realized it when I heard Mukei-kun’s voice while he was helping Miura-san.

“Excuse me. Take your hand off her.”

Mukei-kun was Mukei-kun no matter where he was. A working woman agreed with him, saying she had seen it happening. A male student raised his hand and said he had, too. Mukei-kun glanced at me for a moment.

“…Are you okay?”

I let out a voice that hardly even became a sound. He raised one hand to me, then stepped off the train. He was cool. The same profile as when he saved me. The same calm voice. And yet now, the one standing beside him wasn’t me. Miura-san gripped the hem of his sleeve tightly. I understood that feeling. 

When you’re scared, you can’t stay standing unless you’re gripping something.

The doors closed, and the train glided forward. I kept my eyes on my paperback, but I couldn’t walk across the printed words for a while. The pad of my thumb slipped a little with sweat when I turned the page. Why did I feel this way? Mukei-kun was kind. Probably to everyone. When he saw someone in trouble, he stood up. He stepped forward first. I thought I liked that about him.  And yet, somewhere deep in my chest, a sulking child version of myself sat hugging her knees.

“…Are you okay?”

This time, I whispered it in a very small voice. It melted right into the sounds of the train. It reached no one. Not Mukei-kun, of course. But the feeling of the words passing through my throat remained unmistakable. After the train passed one station, I caught sight of my profile reflected in the window. The black hairpin above my ear caught the light once, then faded. My posture switch hadn’t turned off. My lips, with their colorless balm, weren’t dry. But I wasn’t as cute as Miura-san or Hino-san. I couldn’t cling to his sleeve the way Miura-san did so naturally. I couldn’t play sports cheerfully like Hino-san and laugh with Mukei-kun.

Why am I so hopeless?

So this was what jealousy tasted like. It hurt so much. The heroine in the book could smile so much better than I could. I was awkward. Just like how I ran away from the shadows of the gym today…. But I didn’t want to run away next time.

“You look pretty today.”

Mukei-kun had said that about me. From that day on, a tiny light had begun in me. I didn’t want to let it go out. Tomorrow, I would talk to him. This time, I would be the one to speak up. I didn’t want to forget this feeling. I wanted to treasure it.

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