I Came Back from the Dead, Quit Being a Holy Hero, and Just Wanna Shake My Hips in a Harem - Chapter 20: Your Personal Hero, Boner Boy Extraordinaire

Chapter 20: Your Personal Hero, Boner Boy Extraordinaire

Filio—now fully in succubus form—

Was being stared down by the townspeople, their eyes filled with raw fear.

“W-What the hell is that!?” “She’s the one who did this to us!?” “There’s some kid floating up there too!” “Are they working together!?” “Somebody—help!! Please!!”

Only the people closest to Filio had woken up so far.

The succubus probably didn’t want to trigger a full-blown panic just yet.

But the ones who were awake?

They started thrashing in their flesh pods, screaming like Filio and Merlulia were about to kill them.

Damn it…

She’s deliberately tearing open Filio’s old wounds.

Even Lily stood frozen.

She couldn’t hide her shock at seeing Filio’s true form.

“I-I’m not going to kill anyone!”

Filio shouted, desperate to be heard.

But of course—Merlulia came swooping down with a mocking grin and a jab ready to go.

“Right, right~ You don’t kill ‘em right away, huh? You drain all their energy first—Nice and slow, sluuurp sluuurp—then you kill ‘em~?”

“Don’t lump me in with you‼”

“Lump you in? Why not? What’s the difference?”

“Y-You and I are… not the same!”

Filio bit her lip hard.

And then…

She saw it.

In the eyes of the townspeople—exactly what she feared most.

“P-Please!!” “I have a family—don’t kill me!!” “Please don’t kill me please don’t kill me please don’t kill me—!”

“T-That’s not— I… I came here to help you—!”

Filio tried to smile.

That same bright, cheerful smile—meant to bring happiness to everyone.

But now… the corners of her mouth only twitched awkwardly.

To the townspeople, that strained smile looked horrifying.

They trembled, teeth chattering in fear.

“Ah…”

The light in Filio’s eyes—her hope of being someone who made others smile—

Flickered out.

And Merlulia?

She beamed like this was the best thing she’d ever seen.

“I get it, I really do~ We’re creatures of desire. Even if we try to play human, the second they find out we’re succubi… They use us when it suits them, fear us when it doesn’t, and toss us aside the moment they’re done. How about you, big sis? Been there too?”

“…Uhh…”

“Ahaha! You don’t have to say it—I already know! I bet you hate it, huh? Can’t forgive them, right? Let it out! Let the rage explode!”

“That’s not…”

“C’mon now~ Who even cares anymore? Just go wild! Do whatever you want!”

Merlulia flashed a sweet, innocent smile—

Like she was coaxing a friend toward a very dark place.

Even if Filio was still holding out…

It was clear Merlulia was trying to dig in deeper.

To carve out fresh wounds.

To break her down until she finally snapped.

I tightened my grip on my sword—ready to jump in.

But then Merlulia glanced my way.

A warning, clear as day.

“If you come at me in a fit of rage… All these people? They’ll be dried-up mummies before your blade even reaches me.”

“I’m not mad.”

“Ahaha~ Liar~ You reek of anger! Don’t underestimate a succubus’ senses, y’know!”

Merlulia laughed mockingly—like she could see straight through me.

Like my emotions were just another little game to her.

I didn’t think I was angry.

Or maybe I was so angry that something inside me had already snapped—

And I just couldn’t feel anything anymore.

What… was I even mad about?

Then I saw them.

The townspeople.

Looking at me—eyes wide with desperate hope.

“You’re human, right!?” “P-Please help us!!” “Do something—anything!!”

They looked at my adventurer’s gear and assumed salvation had shown up.

Sure, I didn’t have horns.

No wings.

No tail.

But so what?

How was I any different from Filio?

In our past lives, both of us played the part—

The “convenient hero” people could project their hopes onto.

Though… Filio’s still trying to do that even now.

If I’d stayed the Hero, would they have just expected me to smile and shine again?

Merlulia giggled, eyes sparkling—

Like she couldn’t wait to see what I’d do next.

“So~ what’s it gonna be, mister? Gonna surrender?”

Without a word…

I tossed my sword aside.

“Wha—!? You’re actually surrendering!? That’s so lame~♥”

Right in front of her, I stripped off my armor.

Then my shirt.

Then my pants.

The crowd started murmuring in total confusion—

But I wasn’t finished.

I yanked off my underwear too.

Yep. Full-on naked.

Merlulia froze.

Her smirk vanished, replaced by a dead-serious stare.

“…What the hell are you doing?”

“Getting naked.”

There’s nothing weird about being naked.

After all, I’m a proud, pantsless legend who once defeated the Demon King in full, glorious nudity.

In another world, the tale of the Naked Hero would’ve been passed down for generations.

There could’ve even been a bronze statue of “Sir Full-Frontal” smack in the center of the capital’s plaza.

…Not that anyone knows that story but me.

The entire dungeon went dead silent—like time itself had hit pause.

Lily, cheeks faintly flushed, stared straight at my crotch and mumbled without thinking: “…So that’s what goes in…”

That line—combined with the heavy miasma in the air—

Yeah, it definitely hit me down below.

One part of me suddenly stood tall and proud, stretching skyward like a victory flag.

“Is that guy hard!?” “Did he seriously get turned on just from being naked!?” “Has he completely lost it!?”

The townspeople erupted—shouting all kinds of things at me.

“Oh shut up already!! I’ll save your asses while swinging this righteous boner right in your faces‼‼‼”

That shut them up fast.

Now they looked genuinely terrified.

Even more so than when they saw Filio in full succubus mode.

Can’t blame them.

Even I wouldn’t want to be rescued by some buff, naked guy charging in, junk flying.

It’s nightmare fuel.

Which is exactly why I shouted it:

“Since when did someone’s body or appearance matter when they’re trying to help!?”

Filio, who’d been silently staring at the ground this whole time, finally looked up.

But instead of her usual bright, cheerful smile—

She wore this pure, honest expression.

Like a child seeing something truly incredible.

“It doesn’t freaking matter!! Where you’re from, who you are, what you’ve been through, or what you’re feeling—If you wanna help someone, that feeling is never wrong!!”

…Okay, yeah, there are limits.

Sure, maybe take a good look at yourself sometimes.

And yeah, people with power shouldn’t be expected to carry everything alone.

But that’s just who she is.

Even with wounds she never let anyone see,

Even while bearing the heavy name of Eedelshade,

Even while living with the fate of a succubus—

If she still chooses to make people smile…

Then I know she’s not going to change.

So don’t look down, Filio.

You don’t have to.

If it hurts to breathe from all that pain and rage—

Then I’ll be the idiot who makes breathing just a little easier.

“There’s nothing wrong with being saved… by Boner Boy Extraordinaire‼”

And with perfect timing, I proudly thrusted my hips forward.

Thrust.

Thrust.

Thrust.

“Behold!! Boner Boy is here‼ Boner Boy Extraordinaire has arrived‼‼‼”

Finally, one of the younger men—face pale and trembling—couldn’t take it anymore.

“U-Um… yeah, on second thought… Maybe this guy is… the worst…”

Exactly‼ I feel that‼

Getting rescued while staring down a fully weaponized boner-man?

That’s a whole different kind of trauma‼

“Then go ask the succubus over there instead!”

“Huh? That succubus…?”

“She lives by lust—and still chose the path of light. She’s the Horny Hero of Justice‼”

“H-Horny Hero of Justice⁉⁉⁉”

The townsfolk were in full-blown panic mode.

They were all asking the real, hard-hitting questions:

“Does a ‘Horny Hero of Justice’ actually exist?” “Isn’t that a total contradiction?” “Wait, aren’t pure-hearted succubus stories super popular in erotic novels?” “Is that even relevant right now!?”

It was absolute chaos.

But Filio?

She wasn’t looking down anymore.

Her face was beet red, mouth opening and closing like a flustered goldfish.

So I turned to the crowd and asked the ultimate question:

“Horny Hero of Justice or Boner Boy Extraordinaire—Who do you wanna be saved by!?”

“““Horny Hero of Justice!!!”””

“WHAT!? You’re all a bunch of pervs!!”

“““YES, WE ARE!!!”””

You know what?

Me too, guys.

We’re all degenerates here.

Sensing the shift in energy, I shot a cheeky grin at Filio.

She marched over, face still burning red—

But she had that usual refreshing smile on…

Only this time, there was fire in it.

(Horny Hero of Justice? Haruya-kun, what exactly did you just call me?)

Yikes…

Time to mentally cool down my overly enthusiastic little hero down south.

But honestly…

This might be the first time she’s ever gotten this mad.

And weirdly enough—it’s kinda nice.

As we soaked in the absurdity, Merlulia let out a long, theatrical sigh.

“Haaah… what a shame. Guess you’re siding with the humans after all.”

“Stop trying to poach my precious teammate.”

“Ohhh? Sooo… That means you’re ready to fight me? Right here, in my home turf?”

She flashed a thin, amused smile—

But those eyes?

Cold.

And absolutely serious.

“That’s where you messed up—You seriously underestimated my teammate.”

I figured she’d had enough time to set things up.

Then—CLAP!

The sharp sound of hands slapping together echoed through the chamber.

“—Sacred Mark: Divine Anti-Demon Barrier! (Saint Wall)!!”

Lily slammed her palms against the floor.

A massive magic circle erupted beneath her, glowing with pure, radiant light.

It spread across the entire chamber, bathing her—and all the townspeople trapped in those gross meat-blobs—in a soft, golden glow.

That holy light?

Yeah, it definitely wasn’t demon-friendly.

Merlulia’s face twisted in disgust.

“Tch… She’s that good of a priestess!?”

Good thing I told Lily to conserve her mana.

Though from the sweat on her brow, she was clearly pushing herself to the limit.

“Lord Haruya! Lady Filio! I’ll hold the defense!”

Her eyes practically screamed, “Hurry up already!”

She couldn’t keep this up for long.

I kicked my sword off the ground, caught it mid-air with a clean snap, and smirked.

“Well then… time for a good ol’ fashioned demon smackdown.”

“Chiave Quattro: Sacred Armor!”

A radiant suit of armor formed around me—

Blue-white energy clinging to my body like a second skin.

As the light wrapped around me, Filio glanced over with a half-sigh.

“Wait… you weren’t actually planning to fight naked, were you? Please wear that.”

“Going full-frontal is a time-honored anti-Demon Lord tactic, I’ll have you know.”

“There’s no way that’s true.”

“But you… You’re staying like that?”

Filio hadn’t dismissed her succubus form.

Her horns, wings, and tail were still out.

And she wasn’t trying to hide a thing—

Just stood there, proud and unshaken.

“After all… I am the righteous sexy succubus.”

That breezy, confident smile of hers didn’t falter for even a second.

And for the first time… I felt like I could truly accept that smile.

Right then and there, I swung my sword.

It sliced through the air.

Through evil.

Through the very space between us.

Maybe she finally realized I hadn’t been fighting seriously until now—

Because Merlulia’s eyes narrowed, wary.

“Ooh? So you were holding back… just to fight me, huh?”

A wave of corrupted wind burst from her body.

With a gust, her clothes and hair settled neatly into place—

And shwoop—twisted horns, wings, and a jagged tail exploded out, even more wicked-looking than Filio’s.

Looks like she was done playing around.

Fine by me.

There’s no such thing as a conveniently perfect hero.

But you, creature of darkness—

I’ll show you what it means when a real hero gets serious.

In the face of true light…

Evil always crumbles.

I leveled my sword straight at the succubus, Merlulia.

“It’s discipline time, you bratty minx! Even if you cry and beg for mercy, this bastard ain’t gonna let you off easy!”

You messed with my teammate.

And for that—

You’re seriously gonna pay.