I became the boyfriend of the school's madonna, who had turned down numerous confessions, but somehow, without realizing it, I wasn't just playing a role anymore - Chapter 9

Episode 9: Reasons We Can’t Be Together

“What exactly is the reason?”

“…”

Despite my inquiry, Misaki tightly sealed her lips and averted her gaze.

“Is it something difficult to talk about?”

“Not really, but… It’s not something worth putting into words.”

Perhaps it’s something she shouldn’t tell me. Honestly, since we’re not really in a relationship, it’s her freedom to do as she pleases. However, if there’s a possibility of getting involved in troublesome matters, I’d like to know.

Not just for myself, but because I don’t want Kokoa to get involved.

“Please tell me if you can. Even to maintain a good relationship, it’s important not to keep any unnecessary secrets.”

“…You won’t back out?”

Misaki looked upward and looked at my face.

Since she showed a casual attitude in speaking, it probably wasn’t something difficult to talk about.

However, what she seemed concerned about was unexpectedly surprising.

“Backing out”…, could that be some peculiar preference?

“Without hearing it, I won’t know.”

“That’s true. You would say that.”

Since we had a similar conversation earlier, Misaki forced a wry smile. Well, that’s just her personality.

“……I’m scared…of falling in love with someone…”

Misaki sat down cross-legged, burying her face in her knees, and began to speak slowly.

“When you said falling in love, do you mean romantically?”

She gets along with everyone. Especially with Suzumine Hyouka, a girl in the neighboring class, with whom she seems to have a close friendship.

According to what I’ve heard, they’ve been childhood friends. At least, she must like Suzumine-san as a friend, so it’s not like she can’t like people.

Well, I’m not fond of her, though. After all, she’s very cool and cold towards guys.

“Mm…”

As if affirming my thoughts, she nodded slightly.

“Do you have some kind of trauma?”

Since the word “scared” caught my attention, I decided to ask what I was thinking. She nodded again.

“If the person I love is gone… my heart would break, that’s why…”

“What do you mean…?”

She’s scared…, does she mean a breakup story? But that seems a bit exaggerated.

In that case, literally speaking…, even so, it’s strange. Even if you’re physically separated, with the current advanced technology, it’s easy to communicate with people far away. Moreover, you can even talk face-to-face.

It might be lonely, but it’s not to the extent of your heart breaking.

Then the only remaining option is… death?

“Although it’s a story from six years ago… my older sister got married, and right after that, her husband died in an accident.”

“I see.”

So, it was indeed related to someone’s death.

Getting married is supposed to be one of the happiest times in someone’s life. If the loved one suddenly dies, it’s understandable to be devastated.

And six years ago, we were still in elementary school.

It must have been shocking for her, who was still young, to see her sister, who had become depressed, unable to go outside properly for three years.

“My sister was a very kind and reliable person…, she really loved her husband. So, when he died, she couldn’t recover. She couldn’t go outside properly for three years.”

Seemingly reminiscing, she spoke slowly with her face buried in her knees.

It must be a very painful memory.

“That’s why I don’t want to become like my sister. She’s strong, so she managed to recover, but I don’t have the confidence I can do the same.”

It may sound exaggerated, but I understand what she’s saying.

I also lost my father in an accident four years ago, just before Kokoa was born.

The shock at that time was considerable, and if it weren’t for Kokoa’s birth, I might still be dragging it along.

“So, you think you’ll really hurt me in the future… That’s quite a lot of confidence.”

“Well… that’s why I checked beforehand…”

In other words, she thinks I’ll eventually fall for her.

Thinking about it that way, a somewhat unpleasant feeling wells up.

However, I can understand why she’s conscious of it.

She’s been liked by many boys until now.

And from now on, Misaki and I will pretend to be a couple without raising any suspicions.

Even if we haven’t been aware of each other until now, if we start doing things that couples do, people will inevitably become conscious of it.

So, when that happens, she seems to be worried about hurting me.

“Well, that’s fine, but there’s no guarantee that I won’t fall in love with you.”

“It’s amazing that you didn’t declare that you wouldn’t fall in love there…”

“You can’t control people’s hearts that easily, after all.”

There may be people who boast or claim not to fall in love as a way to save face or hide embarrassment. However, when saying such things to the school’s popular Madonna, who is constantly surrounded by admirers, it lacks persuasiveness.

It’s better not to put on a clumsy facade for one’s own sake.

“Sorry for asking you to be your fake girlfriend, and I know it’s shameless, but… if it ever comes to that, I probably won’t be able to meet your expectations.”

Misaki lifted her face, looking at me with a pained expression.

Dealing with kind-hearted people can be quite troublesome…

“Don’t worry about it. Nobody is expecting us to actually date. Misaki, you’re not thinking of doing this fake relationship seriously, are you?”

“Of course not, but… It feels audacious to ask for your help and then be this shameless…”

“You don’t have to worry about it. There’s no rule in this world that says if someone confesses, you have to date them.”

More than anything, if someone is expecting a serious relationship just because of a fake one, then it’s their fault. Essentially, it’s all a pretense for ulterior motives.

Even if Misaki rejects someone, she’s not at fault.

“…Alright, then, can you promise me one thing…?”

I thought the conversation was settled, but it seems Misaki has more to say. While I appreciate her sincerity, I’m not a fan of being dragged into things.

Being overly concerned is just uncomfortable.

And besides, I’m getting hungry.

“What is it?”

“Well… even if it happens…please, just don’t confess to me. If you do that, I…,I can go on dates and stuff…”

She said something absurd again.

She’s either too serious or too kind…

In other words, as long as I’ll not try to clarify the relationship, she’ll pretend not to notice my feelings. If that’s the case, she’ll be fine with going on dates like a couple.

Even though I haven’t fallen for her yet, proposing an endpoint like this seems overly serious.

Well, it’s precisely because she’s so serious and earnest that she’s popular with everyone.

“Alright, that’s fine.”

For now, as long as I don’t nod, Misaki seems like she’ll keep dragging this on, so I decided to agree. She seems relieved, placing her hand on her chest and letting out a sigh of relief.

With this, is the conversation settled?

Alright, let’s finally go eat…is what I thought so, but there’s something I need to confirm.

“By the way, there’s something that’s been bothering me… Can I assume that you’ve told Suzumine-san the truth?”

They’re close childhood friends.

Surely they’ve talked about it beforehand.

That’s what I thought, but…

“I-I can’t say…! Because she’d get really mad…!”

Misaki shook her head frantically, looking flustered.

“Huh…”

Come on, give me a break…

As Misaki’s childhood friend, she must know about Misaki’s trauma, right?

How do I cover this up…