Chapter 6 – My Brother’s Girlfriend is a Popular Voice Actress

“I’m home.”

“Welcome back! My dear little brother!”

Entering the entryway, I’m greeted by those words and a tall, handsome blonde guy winking and flashing a peace sign at me.

…Who?

“Hey, hey, don’t you recognize me? It’s your big brother. Takuma’s big brother, Kazuma Akasaka.”

“There’s no way. My brother is fatter, with messy hair, and looks exactly like a ham with a face attached to it.”

“You… you really thought that…?”

“I’m joking. Welcome back, Nii-chan.”

For the record, that was also a lie. He really did look like a tied-up roast ham, so what on earth happened to make him look like this? A mutation? What is this “handsome when skinny” nonsense?

“Yeah, I’m back. Though I’m heading back over there tomorrow.”

“That’s fast.”

“Work is busy. Well, it can’t be helped.”

“Work? Doing what? Did you actually manage to become a voice actor? And why did you get so skinny and look like such a playboy?”

“Obviously, right? I’m properly affiliated with an agency, you know. And don’t call me a Playboy. I lost weight because I was living off nothing but bean sprouts for a while. I really had no money. I ran out of the house on my own so that I wouldn’t have to rely on our parents. And this look is for work, too.”

Amazing. He actually became one. He left the house saying crazy things like, “I’m going to become a voice actor, marry a cute voice actress, and aggressively flirt with her while making her say all sorts of lines in her character’s voice!” — and he actually made it happen.

“Hey, Kazu-kun. Is this your little brother?”

Saying so, a beautiful older woman pokes her head out from the living room and walks toward us. I feel like I’ve seen her before, but… who is she?

“That’s right. This is my little brother, Takuma. Get along with him. And Takuma, this is Yukari Hidaka-san. She’s my girlfriend. And also my senior as a voice actress. See, I’m sure you’ve heard of her, too. She played the main character in that Sunday morning magical girl anime.”

“…………Eh?”

He doesn’t even need to explain — I know exactly who she is just by hearing her name. She’s a famous voice actress with a reputation for being super cute who plays heroines in all sorts of anime. Of course, I know who she is. But someone like her is his girlfriend? Yeah, right.

“Nii-chan, are you being scammed? Are you funneling all your money to her?”

“You’ve been casually rude this whole time. Obviously not. Besides, Yukari was the one who approached me.”

“Eeeh!?”

“Takuma-kun, it’s true, you know? I was the one who approached.”

“Why? What did you even see in him? Does he have some kind of blackmail material on you?”

“Hey…”

Nii-chan looks like he wants to say something, but I ignore him. This is no time for that.

“Hmm, let’s see~, if you ask what I liked… his face, I guess. And he doesn’t have any blackmail material on me, you know? In fact, I might be the one gripping things? All sorts of things.”

What is that? Is that a dirty joke? Are you saying a dirty joke with that voice? I see. Thank you very much. And so she fell for his face.

“His face… well, he certainly is handsome now.”

“Yeah. Now, he is. I was so surprised when he showed me his old photos earlier. Well, it was his face at first, but now I love everything about him, so don’t worry. But, but, listen to this! Even when I told Kazu-kun I loved him, he totally didn’t believe me. He kept saying things like ‘I won’t lend you my personal seal’ and ‘I won’t lend you my driver’s license,’ you know? So I had to use my last resort.”

As expected of Nii-chan. He was unpopular for so long that he stopped trusting women.

But to make that same Nii-chan fall for her, what kind of method did she use?

“Your last resort?”

“Yeah. I found out which of the characters I voice is Kazu-kun’s favorite, and I said this: ‘Onii-chan… when I think about you, it tingles right here… how do I cure it? Tell me…'”

“…………”

Setting aside exactly where here is, Nii-chan… don’t tell me…

“Hey, Takuma. What’s with that look? What kind of guy do you think your own brother is? Your big brother is a kind man, you know. If I’m told something like that—”

“If you’re told something like that?”

“I have no choice but to cure it for her, obviously.”

“You shouldn’t tell that to anyone else. You’ll lose friends.”

“Why!?”

Suppose he doesn’t understand, then fine. For now, I’m just going to pretend I don’t know him.

“So you mentioned the blonde hair was for work, too, but it’s a voice acting job, so why blonde?”

“Ah, that’s because, you see. The design for the character I’m voicing was actually based on me. So I’m trying to match his look as much as possible.”

“Oh. What character?”

“Hm? It’s not from an anime, you know? It’s from a game. Shi—”

“Kazu-kun!”

Just as Nii-chan was about to say the character’s name, Hidaka-san stopped him. I wonder what’s wrong.

“Kazu-kun, the president told you not to tell anyone, didn’t he? Neither your character name nor your stage name.”

“Ah, that’s right. But Takuma is my little brother, you know?”

“It’s still a no. The sponsors told you, too, didn’t they? Not until sales go up. Because we don’t know when the whole thing might go under.”

“Right… It can’t be helped. My bad, Takuma. So that’s how it is — it’s a secret.”

“It’s fine. No problem.”

Even if I did hear it… is how I feel about it anyway.

“But I’ll at least tell you this.”

“What?”

“The only sound I play is yours.”

A chill runs down my spine.

“…What are you talking about? Did you hit your head?”

“No! I’m telling you, it’s the catchphrase of the character I’m voicing. Yukari, this much is fine, right?”

“Hmm~? Well, you already said it, so I guess it can’t be helped.”

So he says catchphrases like this. Yeah. Even if he told me the game, I’d definitely never play it. I don’t want to hear it.

“By the way, don’t you and your little brother have really similar voices, Kazu-kun?”

“Ah, definitely. Back in the day, people used to mix us up all the time when we answered the phone.”

“Yeah.”

“Hey, hey! Try lowering your voice a bit and saying, ‘Leave it to me.'”

“Eh.”

I don’t want to. It’s embarrassing.

“I really want to hear it~. Please? Pretty plea~se.”

“Leave it to me.”

“See! You really do sound alike!”

Nii-chan and I really are brothers, huh. There’s no way I could refuse when asked “pretty please” in the voice of a character from an anime I like.

“If Kazu-kun ever gets sick, we can ask you to be his stand-in!”

“Idiot. I’m properly managing my health for things like that. I’m especially careful with throat care.”

“Muu! You don’t want me to nurse you back to health?”

“Hey, that and this are two completely different things…”

The two of them were aggressively flirting right in front of me. If possible, could you do this in your room? This is the entryway — I haven’t even taken my shoes off yet.

Well, whatever. They seem completely in their own world, so I’ll just hurry up and go to my room.

—Ding.

Hm?

—Ding, ding, ding.

I wonder what it is? Consecutive messages?

I don’t have any friends who would message me that often, though.

“Look? Sensei was thinking about her beloved Akasaka-kun, whom she loves so, so much, and ended up dressing like this at school♪.”

Sent along with that text are three photos of Wano-sensei wearing nothing but a lab coat over light-blue underwear, taken at varying angles and with varying levels of exposure.

What is this person thinking?

More importantly, how does she know my ID — ah, right. During the orientation after the entrance ceremony, we made a group chat for the whole class, including the teacher. Even though I don’t interact with anyone, important stuff like class announcements and test material gets sent there, so I can’t exactly block her either.

This is a problem…

————Ding.