How to Handle a Yandere Harem - Chapter 26

In a dimly lit room that seemed to be a parody of some ancient tribunal, the friends gathered around a makeshift altar that appeared more like a shrine to nostalgia than a place of judgment. Vintage video game consoles were stacked high, and LED candles flickered, casting an almost sacred light on the absurdity. Posters of anime and fantasy heroes lined the walls as if blessing the room with a sense of reverent chaos.

“Today, we stand not to judge, but to accuse!” Issei proclaimed, his voice thick with mock gravity.

“The one on trial is none other than our beloved friend, Adriel!” He waved his arm dramatically toward a small doll placed in the center of the altar. The doll, dressed in a mini suit and tie, was meant to represent the accused. It sat silently, its button eyes wide with innocence — or perhaps guilt.

“But where is Adriel, you ask? On a date, my friends, with Emma, no less! But fear not, for in his absence, this doll shall take his place. Let us judge the doll as if it were Adriel himself!”

A ripple of laughter spread through the room. The doll, of course, said nothing in its defense.

“The prosecution may now proceed,” Issei announced, gesturing toward the prosecutor. He then stepped forward himself — yes, Issei was playing the prosecutor too — adjusting his oversized suit, which made him look like a child playing dress-up. He cleared his throat dramatically.

“Your honor, esteemed jury,” he began, holding up a long grocery receipt as if it were an ancient scroll.

“The accused stands guilty of the most heinous of crimes — violating the sacred laws of brotherhood!”

“Objection!” someone called from the back, but it was quickly dismissed as irrelevant, much like most of the objections in this farcical court.

“Let us review the evidence,” the prosecutor continued, addressing the doll with all the seriousness he could muster.

“Law the First: Thou shalt not date more than thou can manage to pay attention to during a multiplayer game.”

The room erupted into laughter. The doll remained silent.

“Law the Second: Thou shalt not bring thy girlfriend to boys’ night without prior consent of the council of bros!” he thundered, shaking the receipt in the air.

“And yet, Adriel — through this doll — has failed to answer for his crimes!”

Issei leaned in close to the doll, his expression stern. “Speak, if you have anything to say in your defense,” he demanded.

The doll said nothing.

“Ah! Silence! I see, silence is an admission of guilt!” Issei exclaimed triumphantly, drawing a burst of laughter from the crowd.

“The accused does not even deign to defend himself!”

The jury, seated in their mismatched chairs, nodded in exaggerated agreement. One of them, unable to hold back, snickered.

“This is too easy! He doesn’t even try to argue!”

“Indeed!” Issei chimed in, pacing dramatically in front of the altar.

“And let us not forget Law the Third: Thou shalt not use the phrase ‘Sorry, I have plans with her’ more than thrice in a fortnight!”

The entire room burst into laughter at this point. “Three times in two weeks!” someone echoed, slapping their knee.

“Yet here we are!” Issei continued, his voice rising in faux outrage.

“Not once, not twice, but four times has Adriel, represented by this… this… silent doll, committed such offenses!”

The prosecutor then approached the doll, poking it lightly. “What say you, Adriel? Did you indeed prioritize your romantic endeavors over the sacred bonds of Tuesday Night Zombie Slayer Fest?”

The doll, predictably, said nothing.

“Ha! Guilt by default! The doll says nothing, so it must be true!”

By this point, everyone was struggling to contain their laughter. The whole scene had devolved into a delightful spectacle of comedic absurdity.

“And what’s worse, he even skipped out on boys’ night to go on a date tonight! With Emma! At an arcade bar, no less!” Issei dramatically gestured to the doll again.

“On a Tuesday?!” one of the jurors gasped in exaggerated horror.

“Yes! On a Tuesday!” Issei confirmed, shaking his head solemnly.

“While we, the faithful, remain true to our traditions!”

“Traditions that hold our society together,” someone muttered from the jury.

Issei nodded sagely.

“Exactly. And yet here sits the accused, his crimes evident, his silence deafening.”

Finally, after a long pause for effect, Issei turned toward the group. “Brothers, I ask you: What should be the fate of this doll — this stand-in for our misguided friend Adriel?”

One of the jurors stood up, trying his best to look serious.

“I say… we let him join us on our next boys’ night, provided he brings Emma along. She should see what she’s up against.”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea to bring Emma, Elizabeth, or Seda. They scare me,” one of the jury spoke hesitantly.

“Yes… she scares me…” another chimed in, voice trembling slightly.

“Emma is scary; she could kill me just by looking…” a third added with exaggerated fear.

“Elizabeth tortured me for a day… I don’t want that again,” Issei said, his voice laced with lingering PTSD from the experience.

“Then let’s forget that idea,” someone muttered, and the group nodded in quick agreement.

The room exploded with laughter, the ridiculousness of the suggestion perfectly matching the tone of the entire “trial.” As the laughter subsided, a few awkward chuckles lingered, the friends glancing at one another, half-expecting another absurd comment to reignite the banter.

Issei, sensing the moment was right to bring the theatrics to a close, raised his hand to quiet the group. “But alas,” he said, his voice taking on a more mock-serious tone, “until such a time when Adriel faces the consequences in person…”

The room grew quiet, everyone leaning in for the grand finale.

“Let this doll serve as a reminder of Adriel’s offenses. May he forever be known as the one who dared to challenge the laws of our brotherhood… and lost.”

“Exactly! We’d never let something as trivial as multiple romantic engagements interfere with our high scores and pizza nights,” a juror added with a solemn nod, though the twinkling eyes in the room betrayed the barely concealed amusement.

The banter continued, each statement more absurd than the last, as they all circled around the real truth: their indignation wasn’t about some grand betrayal of the bro-code but rooted firmly in jealousy. The ridiculousness only escalated, with jokes aimed at Adriel’s supposed ability to juggle more girlfriends than they could handle video game controllers.

One friend, half-serious and half-joking, was on the verge of suggesting they draft a new law requiring Adriel to write a guidebook on ‘multi-girlfriend management’ when Issei could no longer hold back. His face, though still solemn, had a mischievous gleam in his eyes that was impossible to ignore.

“Enough!” Issei’s voice cut through the laughter like a well-timed punchline, bringing the room to an abrupt, expectant hush. Every gaze snapped to him, a mixture of curiosity and anticipation dancing in the air.

“However, while tonight has been filled with the noble traditions of our brotherhood and the dignity of rubber chicken gavels, I propose a new quest for our fellowship.”

Murmurs rippled through the room, the excitement palpable. Issei took a few dramatic steps forward, the performance in his movements matching the weight of his words.

“Brothers, our valiant Adriel finds himself ensnared in a cunning web — woven by none other than the enchantress Emma.”

The room leaned in, hooked on his every word.

“Let us then make our presence known! Not in envy or wrath, but in the noble spirit of mischief and camaraderie! We shall embark on this tournament — not as mere spectators, but as agents of chaos, playful specters to haunt our brother’s high-tech battlefield!”

Laughter and cheers erupted around the room, the energy contagious. One of the friends, ever quick with a joke, leaped to his feet, his voice booming with mock gravitas.

“Indeed! Let it be so decreed! We shall descend upon this tournament like the ghosts of gaming past, present, and future, ensuring our brother Adriel never forgets the humble origins from whence he came!”

“And let’s not forget, this will give us a front-row seat to witness his legendary multitasking skills. How will he fare in both love and digital war?”

“Fear not, for we shall be there to provide… strategic distractions. And perhaps a few unplanned obstacles. All in the spirit of good fun, of course!”

The room erupted once again, laughter bouncing off the walls as they began to plot their intervention. The glee was unmistakable, like schoolboys conspiring for the ultimate prank, each suggestion more outlandish than the last.

As the plans grew more elaborate, the energy in the room only intensified – that unique camaraderie fueling their shared mischief. What had started as a simple game night had morphed into something much bigger — a mischievous adventure they all knew would become the stuff of legends in their friend group for years to come.

“So, to the tournament!” Issei proclaimed, raising an imaginary goblet into the air. “May our brotherhood prevail over the perils of love and digital warfare!”

“To the tournament!” they all echoed, their voices merging into a single roar of approval, controllers raised high like swords ready for battle.

The night had taken a new, exciting turn, and the stage was set for an unforgettable adventure.