Hey, Best Friend. How About A Kiss Today Too? - Chapter 74.5: "Sagiri’s Diary - Part 3"

“Sagiri’s Diary – Part 3”

July 18th (Monday)

Today, once again, I, Yakumo Sagiri, am writing in my daily diary.

On Friday, Renji kissed me, and I was so happy that I forgot to write in my diary over the weekend. So, I have to start writing properly again from today.

Today is a holiday, but we still had school. I went to wake up Renji, who tends to oversleep. Well, actually… that’s a lie. I couldn’t sleep on Friday night myself because I was so excited, and I ended up napping all day on Saturday instead, messing up my sleep schedule. I thought that was dangerous, so I decided to go to bed early on Sunday night. But I ended up waking up at three thirty in the morning anyway. I felt restless even in my room, and my desire to see Renji grew stronger, so I went for a walk to clear my mind and just decided to instead go to his house and wake him up.

When I went to the park along our usual route where Renji always waits for me, I saw Renji’s mom doing yoga. She’s such an early riser, it’s amazing.

Since Renji’s mom gave me a spare key to their house, I decided to sneak in and wake him up. When I got to his room, he was still asleep, looking incredibly cute. I thought it wouldn’t hurt to slip into bed with him for a bit, but then he hugged me in his sleep…

I was so, so happy.

After that, Renji woke up, and some things happened… like my clothes getting disheveled, and we were seen by… Renji’s mom… Well, yeah…

Anyway, holding hands with Renji, we went to club activities together. In the activity room, Yuzuru and Hasegawa-kun were there, as lively and cheerful as always. Yuzuru, with his sharp instincts, seemed suspicious of something between us, but I managed to cover it up. I think I did a good job.

Then, our classmate Hinachin visited as a guest. Hinachin apparently likes choking people! She called Renji a comrade and they seemed to get along really well.

Renji, being considerate, took a break with Hinachin to buy juice so she wouldn’t feel left out. He’s so kind and attentive to others.

But, for some reason, I felt really uneasy about them going alone together. Even though I’m always the one making him wait, I realized how anxious and painful it is to be the one waiting… And when they were late coming back… I wanted to really complain… but Renji never complains and always waits for me with a smile, which made my heart swell with warmth.

My feelings for him just keep growing and growing.

So, on the way back at our usual park, I asked about what happened on Friday.

About Renji kissing me.

And Renji said it was because we’re friends…

I love Renji. He’s the one I love the most in the whole world.

He indulges my selfishness, waits for me, stays by my side, and gives me the words I want to hear.

The kiss on Friday felt so good, I was floating with happiness.

But when Renji used his tongue… I was surprised and said something I didn’t mean.

I actually wanted him to do more, but I got scared of relying too much on Renji’s kindness, and my mind got all scrambled.

I thought it was wrong, but I couldn’t help but rely on his kindness and lie.

But Renji forgave me for that, and he said he loves me. Even though I haven’t done anything for him, Renji is just too unfair.

My feelings of love keep swelling up more and more.

I’m such a bad girl, unable to control myself.

So, even after I got home, I couldn’t stop thinking about it, and I couldn’t sleep.

***

July 19th (Tuesday)

A lifetime of regrets.

Despite being sleep-deprived, I stayed up until morning again and ended up feeling unwell. I was shivering and my head was pounding, I wanted to go to school to see Renji, but my mom stopped me, so I reluctantly crawled into bed and before I knew it, I fell asleep.

And then, I had a dream.

The old Renji and my dream.

In my dream, Renji was always by my side, even though I was weaker and causing trouble back then. It was a nostalgic and happy dream.

I’ve liked Renji since then.

Well, I still do now, even more so. I won’t lose to my former self.

So when I woke up and saw the real Renji there, I was truly surprised.

My phone was flooded with messages, he came to see me after school because he was worried about me.

That’s what I really love about him.

So even though what happened yesterday, I found myself leaning on him again, letting him take my temperature with his forehead against mine.

Not with lips, but with a kiss on the forehead. Renji’s face right in front of me. Even though his forehead is harder than lips, and there shouldn’t be any fever, my head feels fuzzy.

Since Friday, Renji has been more proactive.

I’m happy, really happy. I want Renji to kiss me more.

But if I have a cold, I might pass it on to Renji.

That’s absolutely not okay.

The pain of getting sick and being left alone is something I know better than anyone else.

And yet, Renji said he didn’t mind and forcibly kissed me.

Even though I said no again and again. It was a gentle yet cruel kiss.

His kindness, at the same time, was a little painful.

I haven’t done anything for him.

I’ve been thinking about this all along.

So amidst his kindness, I thought about expressing my gratitude.

Renji is a boy, and he must be curious about a girl’s body like mine… It was embarrassing, but if Renji couldn’t resist anymore, I thought it would be okay. Because I like Renji too.

But separate from my base feelings, I believed Renji would be okay.

And he really was okay with it.

Renji is kind, Renji is kind, Renji is kind, Renji is kind.

So, I’m in pain.

But even in that pain, Renji calls me kind.

No, Renji is the kind one.

He spends his time with me, next to me. He says he’s hurting because of me.

Even though my head feels like it’s going to explode from happiness, he still keeps giving me that happiness.

Renji really is unfair.

I, I thought I was prepared, but being seen naked was embarrassing, and even more embarrassing than that was the thought of Mom seeing us this situation. At dinner, I couldn’t bear it.

As we parted, Renji kissed me again, despite my embarrassment.

He said he’d be troubled if I wasn’t feeling well.

He said he’s waiting for me.

Always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always.

Renji really hasn’t changed.

That’s why I love him.

Even if I don’t suffer alone, Renji is there for me.

I don’t have to endure it anymore, right?

Feeling warm, I fell asleep deeply today.

Just kidding.

***

July 20th (Wednesday)

I’m back, folks!

Feeling completely revived, when I saw Renji in the classroom, I couldn’t help but feel overjoyed and just hugged him.

I still love him, I want to be with him forever.

The classmates were surprised, but that doesn’t matter anymore. Renji said it’s fine, and right now, I feel invincible.

Feeling invincible, I couldn’t resist any longer and kissed Renji on the stairs in front of our usual rooftop spot.

I love Renji, he’s cool, reliable, and cherishes me, but he’s also cute when he’s embarrassed, I love that side of him.

The Renji that only I know. I didn’t want to show that to anyone else.

After cleaning up, Hinachin joined us for club activities!

There wasn’t any space to sit, so I ended up sitting on Renji’s lap!

It was incredibly embarrassing, but feeling Renji’s presence made me happier than anything, and I felt like I could handle being in front of everyone in the club.

But I never expected Hinachin to see through my true feelings…

Next, I took Hinachin out, we went to buy juice together, and then, um, we had a conversation about various things.

While we were talking, a junior who had been troubled before and whom I had given advice to approached me. I know this vibe, it’s a confession.

But he kindly said, “Please wait until tomorrow,” considering my feelings. Some people just dump their feelings on you, but this kid is gentle, so it’ll be okay. So, I need to properly express my feelings and respond to his courage to confess to me.

I thought that way, but I started feeling anxious.

Until now, this never happened, but I couldn’t get Renji out of my head.

I worried that he might get tired of waiting for me to accept confessions and just disappear somewhere.

Comparing myself, who can’t do anything, to Hinachin, who was so admirable, made me even more anxious.

So I became even more anxious… but Renji could see through even that anxiety.

Even though I tried to do something because of Hinachin’s wonderful advice, he understands that’s not what best friends do.

That’s why I love him.

I really, truly love him.

No matter how many times I say it, it’s not enough, I love him.

Because my dear friend, who loves even the flawed me, and Renji, who is always waiting, are there for me.

***

July 21st (Thursday)

Renji, you fool.