Chapter 30 – The Scumbag Redemption Play

An apocalypse was the best thing that ever happened to me.

The air in the town square had gone from cheerful to terrified in about ten seconds. People were screaming. Merchants were abandoning their stalls, sending fruits and trinkets scattering across the cobblestones. It was pure, beautiful chaos. My party, however, stood in a small bubble of determined calm. They looked like heroes. It was disgusting.

“A horde of monsters.”

Kenji had his hand on the hilt of his sword, his expression grim and impossibly noble.

“We have to organize a defense. Protect the innocent.”

Daisuke just grunted, but it was a deep, serious grunt. The kind of grunt that said he was ready to punch a thousand monsters in the face. Reina, my personal, terrifying bodyguard, had already moved to stand slightly in front of me.

“I won’t let a single one of them touch you, Ryuuji-kun.”

My heart hammered in my chest. Not with fear of the monsters. I was terrified of the yandere who was currently shielding my body with her own. Her priorities were so skewed she’d probably let the whole town burn as long as a stray goblin didn’t scuff my shoes. This was a five-alarm yandere threat.

I had to take control of this situation. My entire revenge plot was flashing before my eyes. A crisis of this magnitude was a plot device of the highest order. It was a gift from the lazy goddess herself. The probability of betrayal during an apocalyptic monster invasion went up by, like, a thousand percent. It was basic narrative math. The party gets overwhelmed, and they have to make a hard choice. They have to sacrifice the weakest link to save everyone else.

Me. I was the weakest link. It was perfect.

There was just one problem. My designated betrayer, my precious, hand-picked scumbag, was currently rotting in a jail cell. He couldn’t betray me from in there. This was a limited-time offer. If the town got wiped out, there would be no one left to betray me. I needed Siegfried. And I needed him now.

“I have a plan.”

All three of them turned to look at me. Their faces held a mixture of hope and absolute faith. It was the look you give a tactical genius, not a selfish jerk who was actively trying to get himself abandoned in a ditch.

“The monsters are a threat to everyone.”

I made my voice sound as serious and responsible as possible. It was a masterful performance.

“We can’t afford to hold back any of our strength. We need every able-bodied fighter we can get.”

Kenji nodded slowly, his heroic brain processing my flawless logic.

“You’re right. We should rally the town guard.”

“No.”

I cut him off. My tone was sharp. I needed to steer this conversation carefully. One wrong word and Reina might decide my plan was too dangerous for me and lock me in a basement for my own safety. The thought sent a chill down my spine.

“I’m talking about a real fighter. Someone with experience. Someone who knows how to handle himself in a crisis.”

Confusion dawned on Kenji’s face. Reina tilted her head, her eyes narrowing with suspicion. This was the delicate part. I took a deep breath, preparing for the sales pitch of a lifetime.

“We need to free Siegfried.”

Silence. The chaotic noise of the panicked town seemed to fade away. My three friends just stared at me. Kenji looked like I had just suggested they all start worshiping the Demon King. Daisuke’s grunt was a high-pitched question mark. Reina’s expression was completely blank, which was somehow the most terrifying reaction of all.

“Ryuuji-kun…”

Reina’s voice was dangerously quiet.

“He threatened you. He tried to steal from this town. He is an insect.”

“I know.”

I had to play this perfectly. I needed to frame this in a way that her twisted, possessive logic would accept. I had to make her think this was for my benefit. Which, in a way, it was.

“But this isn’t about him. It’s about us. It’s about protecting the party. Protecting you guys.”

The lie felt slick and smooth on my tongue. I was getting way too good at this.

“His life is worthless. But his skill with a sword? That has value. We can use him. Think of him not as a person, but as a tool. A disposable weapon we can use to fight the horde and then throw away when we’re done.”

It was a brilliant argument. It was cold, logical, and just a little bit edgy. It appealed to the pragmatist, not the hero.

Kenji still looked troubled. His simple, noble mind was struggling with the moral ambiguity of it all.

“But can we trust him?”

“No.”

I said it without hesitation.

“Of course not. We don’t have to trust him. We just have to point him at the enemy. He wants to survive as much as we do. He’ll fight.”

I looked at Reina, meeting her intense gaze.

“It’s the smartest move. The safest move. For me.”

That was the magic word. The key that unlocked her brain. Her blank expression softened, replaced by that familiar, unnerving look of profound admiration. She thought I was being a cunning, ruthless strategist for the sake of my own survival. She had no idea my plan was to get him to stab me in the back during the chaos.

“You’re right.”

She nodded, her decision made.

“If using that scumbag keeps you safe, then we will use him. And when this is over, I will personally return him to his cell. Possibly in several smaller pieces.”

I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. The crisis was averted. Kenji, seeing Reina’s agreement, finally caved. His own loyalty to me outweighed his heroic code. It was beautiful. It was tragic. My party was so wonderfully, predictably loyal. Their betrayal was going to be legendary.

“Let’s go.”

We ran through the chaotic streets. The town guard was trying to set up a barricade at the main gate, but it was a pathetic effort. They were overwhelmed. Panicked villagers swarmed around us, but they parted like the sea before Moses. They saw us as their saviors. I felt a surge of secondhand embarrassment so strong it was almost a physical blow.

The jailhouse stood behind the mayor’s office, a squat, ugly little building that radiated misery. The lone guard stood outside, his face pale, gripping a spear like it was a safety blanket. He saw us approaching and immediately tensed up.

“Heroes! What are you doing here? You should be at the gate!”

“We’re requisitioning a prisoner.”

Kenji’s voice was firm, leaving no room for argument. The guard’s eyes went wide.

“You can’t! Mayor’s orders!”

Daisuke solved the problem by simply walking past him and pulling the heavy, barred door right off its hinges. The sound of tortured metal screaming in protest was music to my ears. The guard just stood there, his mouth hanging open, holding a key ring that was now completely useless.

We stepped inside. The air was cool and damp, and smelled of rust and regret.

Siegfried was sitting on the floor in the corner of his cell, looking sullen and defeated. He looked up as we entered, his eyes filled with a familiar, bitter hatred. It made my heart sing.

He pushed himself to his feet, gripping the iron bars that were, thankfully, still intact.

“What do you want, you pathetic saint? Have you come to gloat before the world ends?”

“I’ve come to offer you a deal.”

I stood before his cell, projecting an aura of calm, heroic authority. I was a benevolent god offering a lesser being a chance at redemption. Inside, I was a desperate movie director trying to convince a washed-up actor to come back for one last role.

“The town is about to be attacked. We need your sword.”

He laughed, a short, ugly bark.

“And why should I help you? Why should I help this pathetic town that locked me away?”

“Because if you don’t, you’ll die in this cell. The monsters won’t care that you’re a prisoner.”

I let the words hang in the air. It was a simple, logical appeal to his own selfish nature. He was a scumbag. I knew he’d take the deal.

“Fight with us, and you live. You’ll have a chance to escape. A chance for your revenge.”

I looked him right in the eye, trying to send a silent, telepathic message. Don’t screw this up for me. I’m handing you our future on a silver platter.

He stared at me, his mind clearly working. He glanced at Kenji’s shining sword, at Daisuke’s massive fists, and at Reina’s hand, which was casually resting on the hilt of her dagger. He was a cornered animal, and I was offering him a way out of the trap. A way that would lead him right into a different one. Mine.

“Fine.”

The word was a growl.

“I’ll fight with you. But don’t think for a second this changes anything, Ryuuji. The moment this is over, my vow still stands.”

“I know.”

I gave him a sad, compassionate smile. It was a work of art.

“Daisuke, open the door.”

Daisuke nodded, grabbing the bars of the cell door. With a single, powerful heave, he ripped it from the stone wall as easily as he had the first one.

Siegfried stepped out of the cell. He was free. He stood before me, not as an ally, but as a predator on a leash. A beautiful, perfect scumbag, ready to be aimed at our enemies, and then, eventually, at me.

My apocalypse was back on schedule.