Chapter 27 – A Saint’s Sabotage

My divine pink slip had finally arrived.

A shimmering scroll materialized in the middle of my realm, hovering in the air like a cosmic parking ticket. It pulsed with a golden light so intense and self-important it gave me a headache. This was it. The official summons. My one-way ticket to freedom.

My ethereal bags were already packed. A half-finished celestial cocktail sat abandoned on a stack of soul-sorting paperwork I hadn’t touched in a century. Travel brochures for ‘Fiji’ and ‘Tokyo’ floated lazily through the air, their impossible blues and neon pinks a stark contrast to the boring, milky-white void of my office. For the first time in millennia, I felt a spark of genuine excitement.

I had tossed my sacred regalia into a forgotten corner. It lay in a heap next to a half-eaten bag of divine potato chips. In its place, I had packed the essentials. A pair of oversized sunglasses. A celestial bikini that shimmered with the light of a thousand dying suns. A trashy romance novel I’d confiscated from a recently departed soul.

This was my retirement starter pack.

My plan had been a masterpiece of career-ending sabotage. I had illegally summoned mortals from another dimension. I had dropped them into a world I was supposed to be protecting. I had specifically chosen one of them, Ryuuji Sato, to be a catalyst for pure, unadulterated chaos. His ridiculously pure soul was the perfect kindling for a world-ending bonfire.

The property damage reports alone should have been enough to get me fired.

I glided over to the shimmering scroll. I didn’t bother to unroll it. The message was obvious. The high council wanted to see me. They were going to read me my rights, list my transgressions, and then kick me out of the celestial union. It was beautiful.

I practiced my speech in the reflection of a floating travel brochure. I needed to look remorseful. My shoulders slumped. I forced the corners of my mouth down. I even managed to conjure a single, perfect tear that rolled down my cheek. The performance was flawless. A true work of art.

Inside, my soul was doing a victory lap.

I was so ready for this.

I flicked the scroll with a divine finger. It dissolved into golden dust, and the doorway to the celestial chamber opened before me.

The walk to my own execution felt amazing.

The High Council of the Gods looked exactly as stuffy and pretentious as I remembered.

The chamber was a massive, open-air rotunda that looked like Mount Olympus on steroids. Soaring marble pillars, impossibly tall and white, held up a ceiling made of swirling galaxies. Each of the twelve thrones was carved from a different cosmic material. One was solid starlight, another was woven from the heart of a nebula. It was all so grand. So extra.

I hated it.

The other gods were already seated. Thor was polishing his hammer, looking bored. Anubis was silently judging everyone, his jackal head tilted. Aphrodite was taking a selfie. The usual cringey crowd. They all turned as I entered, their expressions ranging from mild annoyance to outright disapproval.

It was perfect. They already hated me.

My eyes landed on the main throne at the center of it all. The big one. The one carved from pure, solidified lightning. And sitting on it, with an expression of grim authority, was the big boss himself.

Zeus.

His white beard was immaculate. His muscles bulged under his toga. A low rumble of thunder echoed through the chamber as his gaze fell on me. He was the lord of lords, the CEO of the cosmos. If he commanded it, you obeyed. No questions asked.

I floated to the center of the chamber and performed a perfect, graceful bow. It was the bow of a goddess who knew she was in deep, deep trouble. My heart hammered against my ribs, not with fear, but with pure, uncut hype.

“Amaterasu.”

His voice boomed, shaking the very foundations of the chamber. It was the kind of voice that expected answers. The kind of voice that fired people.

I kept my head bowed, my expression a mask of perfect humility and shame.

“You have broken one of our most sacred laws.”

Yes. I know. I’m awesome.

“You illegally summoned four mortals from a closed world. An act of profound recklessness.”

Go on. Don’t stop now. You’re on a roll.

“You brought outsiders into a stable reality, risking cosmic contamination and timeline collapse.”

My soul was singing. The list of charges was longer than I’d hoped. This wasn’t just a firing. This was going to be a firing for the history books. They’d talk about this for eons. The epic screw-up of Amaterasu, the slacker sun goddess.

I could already taste the caipirinhas on a beach in Brazil.

“However…”

I froze.

That was not a word I wanted to hear. ‘However’ was a bad word. A very, very bad word.

I risked a glance up at him. Zeus was stroking his magnificent beard, a thoughtful expression on his face. The thunder had softened to a low, contemplative rumble. This was not the vibe of a boss about to fire his worst employee.

“While your methods were… unorthodox…”

He paused, and the entire council leaned forward in their thrones, hanging on his every word. The anticipation was suffocating.

“The results have been… fascinating.”

What.

My carefully constructed mask of shame began to crack.

“Your chosen ones have proven themselves worthy. They have faced challenges with courage and honor. They have shown the galaxy the true meaning of heroism.”

His gaze became sharp, focused. He looked right through me.

“And among them, one intrigues me. The boy, Ryuuji Sato.”

Oh no.

“He possesses a potential so vast, so unique, that even I cannot measure its depths. His soul shines with a light brighter than any star in your pantheon.”

Zeus’s grim expression melted away. It was replaced by a slow, spreading smile. It was a smile of genuine approval. A smile of profound respect.

It was the single most terrifying thing I had ever seen.

“You did not just choose heroes, Amaterasu. You chose a legend in the making. You have an eye for talent we did not know you possessed.”

He stood up from his throne of lightning, his voice swelling with pride. He spread his arms wide, as if to embrace the entire cosmos.

“Congratulations.”

My brain short-circuited.

“What do you mean?”

The words escaped my lips in a choked whisper.

“For your brilliant, forward-thinking recruitment strategy, and for discovering a soul of such immeasurable worth, this council has voted unanimously.”

He beamed, his smile so bright it was blinding.

“You’re going to be promoted!”

No.

No. No. No. No. No.

This wasn’t happening. This had to be a joke. A prank. A divine nightmare. My vacation. My beach. My freedom. It was all dissolving into dust. All because of that infuriatingly, catastrophically good-hearted brat.

My mouth opened, but the only sound that came out was a long, silent scream.

I was not getting fired. I was getting a corner office.

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.