Chapter 16 – The Divine Pink Slip

I am so close I can almost taste the freedom.

My divine realm is a total disaster. Half-materialized travel brochures float through the air like lazy, shimmering ghosts. One shows a beach in a place called ‘Fiji,’ with water so intensely blue it almost hurts my eyes. Another displays a street in ‘Tokyo’ at night, a beautiful, chaotic blur of neon and light.

For the first time in centuries, my soul-sorting queue is completely ignored.

My ethereal bags are packed. I am ready to go.

The plan was a career-ending masterpiece. I took four mortal souls and dropped them into the perfect petri dish for chaos. A town called Olvido. It’s a boring, backwater place with a single, dirty little secret.

That secret is named Siegfried.

To the mortals, he looks like the genuine article. He has the chiseled jaw. He has the shining armor. He has the smile that makes you believe in utter garbage like ‘hope’ and ‘justice.’ I did a deep dive on his soul file. It’s a toxic waste dump of greed and vanity.

The man is a complete and total fraud.

He’s playing the hero game for fame, fortune, and followers. He is the perfect person to absolutely shatter my little group of do-gooders.

Especially Ryuuji Sato.

That kid is the golden ticket to my retirement. He’s a walking catastrophe of good intentions and misplaced trust. His soul is so ridiculously pure it’s almost transparent. He’ll take one look at Siegfried’s practiced, heroic smile and swallow the whole act without question.

I have hard proof of his gullibility.

He genuinely thought I was a kind, benevolent goddess. He believed I was giving him some kind of profound test of character. Him. The boy whose entire life I was actively trying to sabotage. He’s the most gullible soul I’ve ever had the misfortune to summon.

His fatally kind nature will be his downfall.

It is absolutely perfect.

Siegfried will see that trusting nature and exploit it instantly. He’ll manipulate Ryuuji. The party will fracture under the strain. Then, Ryuuji’s immense, untapped power will finally curdle into pure, righteous rage.

He’ll tear that town apart looking for revenge on the fake hero who broke his trust.

The property damage reports alone should be enough for a formal reprimand from the celestial board. A second incident would get me suspended. A third? A third gets me fired.

This is my paradise.

I’m so confident in this plan that I haven’t even been watching the celestial feed. Why would I? It’s like setting up a line of dominos. You don’t need to watch every single one fall to know what happens at the end. I’m already mentally on a beach.

Maybe I’ll visit their world. Earth.

Japan has some nice temples, I hear. Very zen. I could probably use some zen after all this. Or maybe somewhere with more sun.

Brazil. Yes. That’s the ticket.

I can see it now. An endless stretch of hot sand. The quiet rumble of waves crashing on the shore. No prayers to answer. No paperwork to file. No needy mortals begging me to fix their self-inflicted problems.

Just me, a celestial cocktail, and a thousand years of paid leave.

Heat. Soccer. Total and complete freedom.

I lean back in my divine throne, kicking my feet up on a compliant-looking cloud. The whole thing is probably unfolding beautifully right now. Siegfried is working his slimy charm on the party. Kenji is being naively heroic and trusting. Reina is no doubt staring at Ryuuji with those scary, intense eyes of hers.

It’s all going perfectly.

Although… it could be going a little faster. My vacation isn’t going to start itself. That rage bubbling deep inside Ryuuji needs a little push. It needs a catalyst.

It needs a spark to light the bonfire of my glorious unemployment.

I sit up straight, a slow, lazy grin spreading across my face.

It’s time to spice things up.

With a lazy flick of my wrist, a shimmering, golden console materializes in the air before me. It’s my direct line to the minds of my chosen heroes. Usually, it’s for sending ‘divine guidance’ or ‘prophecies’. So incredibly boring.

Today, it’s for pouring gasoline on a fire.

My fingers dance over the keys of pure light. What does he need? He needs to start his revenge arc. He needs a concrete reason to be salty with the world. He needs to know that his perfect little party is about to come crashing down around him.

He needs a promise.

I type out the words. They are short, sweet, and devastatingly effective.

I press send.

The console dissolves into a fine, golden dust. I lean back again, crossing my arms behind my head and closing my eyes.

There. That ought to do it.

The seed of paranoia has been planted. My perfect, chaotic pawn will now see betrayal lurking in every shadow and behind every smile. His downfall is completely assured.

My vacation is officially pending.