Life is a Mess Ever Since My Mother Won an Ero-Novel Grand Prize - Chapter 5.3

Chapter 5.3

With only three days left until the deadline of the competition, I have completed the first draft.

The title was “The Shimomura Family’s Story”

But at this point, Miyuha shouted angrily at me.

“That doesn’t sound like a title for a modern novel!”

But I smiled fearlessly.

“Huh, I thought of about a hundred other titles in anticipation of you saying that. Which one do you think is better?”

I handed Miyuha an A4 copy with a list of suggested titles.

“Hee… good work…”

Next, Mother came to me with a printed copy in her hand.

“Haru-kun, I think it’s better to use boobs rather than breasts, because breasts sound a little harder, and boobs sound softer.”

“You fool! If I use boobs here, It’ll end up as a fluffy scene! It’s more manly to say “breasts” here in a hardcore way.”

“No way! Boobs should always be soft! I don’t want my boobs to sound hard.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, Mating Press! For a man, boobs, breasts, tits, twin tits, bulges, all have very different meanings! Can’t you tell the difference? And yet you’re the up-and-coming erotic writter who’s supposedly ushering in the new era. You can’t be on par with that Trinity, if you’re like that!”

“Kuuh…! How intimidating! What an awesome guy! Is this the Haru-kun I know? It’s like a different person with a different writer’s spirit!”

“Well, I’m finally peeling back the layers…”

“Really? Can you show your mom a little peak? When it’s peeled.”

“Sorry, what? What part of this do you think I’m peeling off? And why are you staring at your own son’s crotch?”

And so the controversial revisions were repeated…

“Supid brother! What’s with this position? It’s not erotic at all! Watch as I try it out with mother!”

“Wait a minute! I don’t want to see my mother and sister in that position.”

“Yes! Then I think it would be better if I’m with Haru-kun!”

“Don’t raise your hand, old lady! You’re the worst option!”

“Well, it’s no use, I’ll just have to do it with my stupid brother… ahh, it’s so humiliating…”

You say you’re humiliated, but, hey, why are you blushing, girl? And also, you’re a no-good as well. 

There’s no way a brother and sister can do that.

And so the revision proceeded with a lot of shouting…

“Hey, Miyuha! What’s with this character design!”

I confronted her with a printed rough sketch.

The main character is portrayed as very handsome! What’s with this extremely beautiful guy! Do you think that’s how I look in real life?”

“N-n-n-n-n-no, of course not! I thought of beautifying him a bit!”

Miyuha denied it with a huff and a blush.

“Redraw it! If he’s this handsome, it won’t be interesting to male readers! Make him normal! Make him average, right in the middle!”

“O-okay!”

“I don’t know what the finished product will look like because it’s just a rough sketch, but make sure the heroines look really cute!  Your illustrations will determine whether people will read the text or not!”

“I know!”

“The illustrations are the main part of a novel! The text is just an afterthought! Draw pictures like you’re going to publish your own illustration book!”

“How can a writer say such a thing?”

“That’s what illustrators are supposed to do! It’s called a novel, it’s a collection of illustrations! And this sister character! Why are her breasts bigger than in real life?”

“Ssssssshut up, you stupid brother! I’ll kill you!”

“You’re the idiot! If you’re going to make them bigger, grow them bigger! Bigger tits are better, of course! Even the publisher’s bigwigs were shouting, Fuoooooooooooooh! Bigger tits are better!”

And so the bickering and reworking of the illustrations proceeded…

Finally, the morning before the deadline arrived…

“Oh, hello, Shimomura? You’ve already written it, right? I’ll read it and give you some feedback… What do you mean, you got someone else to read it already? Have you finished revising it yet? You’ve already submitted it to the competition! So who’s in that position? How come they’re always one step ahead of me? My position has been completely taken! Hello Shimomura? Hey, are you listening! Shimomura!”

Sorry, I’m going to bed.

The living room was a mess of dead bodies. Printed manuscripts and illustration papers are spread out on the floor like carpets and futons. Mirei was lying on the floor in a disheveled state, and Miyuha was asleep, holding the hem of her dress.

As I was almost at my limit. I fell asleep on the spot.

I’m sorry, Kimeseku-sensei…

Even though you warned me, I ended up staying up all night.

We all stayed up all night for several days.

Kime-seku-sensei…

I truly hope you and your daughter can pull an all-nighter together… zzz…

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