Life is a Mess Ever Since My Mother Won an Ero-Novel Grand Prize - Chapter 5.1

Chapter 5.1 “My life turns out to be a mess after taking the meaning of family seriously.”

I returned to my room intensely frustrated, and opened my laptop to search for “Sexy-Panty-Flash”. 

—A miraculous inverted triangle, the gap between the tightly closed thighs and the female genitalia hidden by the panties... 

That’s not what I wanted to know about, though.

It’s the artist.

The one who’s a rising young artist who draws with fine and strong 3D effects.

In the early days, she used to post illustrations on Pixiv and Twitter, but as I had learned, she became a big name after the massive hit of the eroge called “Sister x Alien”, for which she was selected as an illustrator.

I blushed as I looked at all the images. The pictures were so explicit that I was afraid to even put them into words. Not only erotic pictures, but also pictures in which the sensitive parts were hidden, with female characters dressed so erotically that it would be better if they were naked. Like a loose piece of cloth is attached to the body, exposing the armpits and navel, and even the lower half of the body is almost visible to the point of danger.

No way…

I held my head in fear.

Did my cute and innocent little sister really draw these kinds of pictures?

I had a hunch with the style of Sexy-Panty-Flash, when I played Sis-eli with my mother. But who would have guessed that it was my sister.

It all felt like a nightmare.

Then I logged in with my e-mail as Mating Press and looked at the rough sketch that Hanagaki had recently forwarded to me.

It was more of a complete illustration than a rough sketch.

It was an illustration of a mother and her son, the main characters in Greek Mythology.

They looked so much like my mother and me as if the artist knew us already…!

Two characters who looks exactly like me and my mother are having a sexual intercourse!

And my cute little sister drew this?

What a fuking karma…!

I knew my life was a dead end…!

“I’m home. Haru-kun, are you inside? The neighborhood meeting is over! Huh? What’s wrong? Why do you look so pale like a ghost?”

“Mom, I was probably a serial killer in a previous life… I have to atone for my sins… I’m going to shave my head and go up the mountain.”

“What’s wrong with you all of a sudden? To be a monk? Pull yourself together, Haru-kun! No matter what happens, your mother will be there for you!”

“Stop it!!! Let me go!!! I’m not supposed to live!!! Kill me! Somebody please kill meeeeeeeeeeeewe!”

“Uwaaaaa! Haru-kun has lost his mind! Don’t go! Don’t leave me aloneeeeeeeeeeeewe!”

Then we had a stupid scene at the door.

Next thing I knew….

“Yoshi, yoshi.”

I found myself on her lap, getting stroked on my head and sucking my thumb like a baby.

“Huh? It’s like I almost regressed into an infant!”

“You did, or should I say almost turned you into a child again. But I’m glad that you’ve recovered, Haru-kun. You can rest a little longer because I like it this way. Would you like me to clean your ears?”

“No, that’s not necessary.”

I sat up and confirmed that this was my room.

Then I pointed the screen of my laptop at her.

“Take a look at this.”

It’s an erotic illustration that Sexy-Panty-Flash has posted on the Internet.

“Ara, what a lovely illustration♪ The child who drew it must be a true pervert♪ I’d like to see his parents’ expressions. Ufufu.”

“Normally this would be a judgmental line, but your tone of voice makes it sound so positive…!”

I mean, I asked,

“Who do you think drew this?”

“Oh, you mean the person who drew this?”

Mirei peered at the illustration.

“Oh, I think it’s Sexy-Panty-Flash Sensei. The illustrator of Sis-eli and the one who will illustrate Giri-Gami, right?”

“From the looks of it, don’t you know who she is?”

“Who is she?”

She tilted her head and then clapped her hands as if she had an idea.

“Is it a naughty elf?”

How did you come to that conclusion? And why do you even have to say it like that? What’s with that fairy tale view of the world?

“It’s not any of that, it’s our Miyuha!”

“See, I knew she was a naughty elf!”

“Why the hell? How do you usually look at your own daughter? I mean, be surprised! Don’t look at me like you’ve got it all figured out!”

“Eh, ehhhh? What do you mean? Miyuha-chan drew this illustration?”

“That’s right! That pure, innocent and fragile girl who goes to a prestigious school for young ladies, the one who gets a fever after looking at anything explicit, can you believe that such a cute little sister, who was supposed to have been raised in a pure and unspoiled environment, would be able to draw such erotic illustrations?”

“As expected of my daughter!”

“Don’t look so proud!”

In the meantime, I noticed that it was already getting dark outside.

Oh no, I must have wasted a lot of time while I was in shock. This much time has passed, which means…

I listened quietly, and heard a noise coming from the front door… Then the sound of someone climbing up stairs.

“Ara, it looks like our naughty Elf-chan is back ♪”

She smiled in a good mood. But my stomach was churning.

“Ugh… No way… that can’t be true… Miyuha can’t possibly be Sexy-Panty-Flash…”

But then I remembered what happened in front of the station. The little sister lifted her skirt in front of the station and showed her panties to her brother. There’s no way something like that could have happened in real life, but what’s wrong with me? The very view of my sister’s panties is stuck in my brain.

The sound of approaching footsteps stopped right in front of my room.

“Dear Brother and Dear Mother, are you in there? I can hear your voices. Can I come inside?”

Her tone seemed normal, but I couldn’t help but gulp.

“Y-yeah…”

“Welcome back, Miyuha-chan. Today we’re going to celebrate!”

The door opens with a bang.

Then she slowly revealed a devilish smile that I never expected, just like the one she showed me in front of the station.

“Onii-chan, you saw my panties, right?”

“…!”

“Do you remember what kind of panty it was?”

Lace string panties. But I couldn’t say that to her. There was no way I would say those words. How could a brother have known about his own sister’s panties? I could only freeze in silence.

At this point, my mother stepped forward to protect me.

“Haru-kun doesn’t have to say anything.”

Then, like a great detective, she pointed.

“Miyuha-chan. Your panties have aqua stripes, so-called striped panties!”

“Why do you think so?”

“Because you’re in junior high school, of course you would be wearing striped panties! And your mother only buys striped panties for you!”

What’s with this insatiable obsession with striped panties?

But Miyuha…

“Too bad…”

She then pulls up her skirt.

“Hey, what are you doing…?”

I tried to stop her, but I couldn’t in time, and I froze stiffly. It wasn’t a dream or an illusion. Mirei was also astonished.

“No, that’s impossible… I always make sure that our Miyuha-chan wears only striped panties!”

But the panties that she was wearing now were different. As if a nightmare had come true, the same lace panties she showed me in front of the station. It’s the kind of sexy lingerie that a grown woman would wear. Sleek, revealing, with a little bit of fabric tied together with a thin string. It’s called “string panties”!

Yes, today was the interview of her life – so…

Wait… you mean she went to the interview in that underwear?

“Actually, this comes with a set of garter belts…”

Miyuha smiles proudly, as if to say she is still playing it easy.

“Fufu, the interviewers would be surprised if a junior high school student came in front of them wearing a garter belt under the sailor uniform, right?”

We couldn’t help but be shocked. In so many ways.

“No… you must be lying… There’s no way Miyuha-chan would ever wear something like that…!”

“That’s right… there’s no way that Miyuha…”

“I mean, even I don’t have those kinds of underwear!”

“That’s why you couldn’t believe it?!”

“And it’s very expensive underwear! There’s no way you can afford it with your allowance, Miyuha-chan!”

That’s when Mirei had an epiphany.

“No way…! Were you doing a mysterious job behind our backs?”

“Yeah, I am actually doing a part-time job doing this and that with uncles I met on social media.”

“No, that’s the job of the illustrator as Sexy-Panty-Flash. I’ve already figured it out, so wrap it up. I don’t need you to drag it out.”

I said dryly with a cold look in my eyes. But my sister didn’t stop.

“Yes, I post sensual images on Twitter, and the guys who caught interest demand more of it, so I send them more and get paid a little money for it…”

“That’s what every illustrator does! Don’t make it sound like you’re a Papa-Katsu girl!”

“But from now on, since I’ve accepted my mother’s request, I will have many men looking at my naughty pieces… And she will be able to get some money from them to support the family…”

[TLN: Mirei didn’t ask her, she just contacted the editorial group so that she can draw for Mating Press.]

“Don’t talk like we’re from a poor family who’s under a huge debt! And you’re just an artist for Giri-Gami!”

“Ohh… That’s why I didn’t want my brother to know about this, he was my only hope, but when he learned the truth, he forced me to be his only woman.”

“I didn’t do anything like that! What are you even talking about? Oh God.”

Goddamn it! Who knew my dear sister’s true nature is like this! She’s like a junior high school version of our mother, Mirei.

Her mother, who had given birth to and raised such a monster, cried, “Gusu…”

“I never thought that my little Miyuha-chan would grow up to be such a child…”

“That’s enough drama, those are the tears of joy, I can already tell.”

“I’m so proud of you!”

“I knew it!”

It’s the worst. If it’s just the mother, well, the mother alone is already costing us zero life points, but I didn’t expect the sister to be helpless as well.

“So much for the drama. Let’s start the strategy meeting, idiot brother.”

[TLN: you know this time baka aniki]

“What?”

Did I hear it wrong? It was as if Miyuha had just said “idiot brother” in a very harsh tone.

However, I wasn’t mistaken.

Miyuha threw down her school bag, sat down roughly on the only chair in my room, and gave me a cocky look like a spoiled princess.

“Stupid brother, how long are you gonna make that lousy face? You make that stupid face only when you stare at mother’s breasts in the summer when she’s wearing loose clothing.”

“Hey, what? Wait, what are y-you saying?”

“Mom, during the summer vacations, my idiot brother always steals glances at your big tits. Have you ever noticed?”

“Oh, really? Haru-kun, just tell me and I’ll show you anytime you want.”

“Can you please not say those words?”

The situation was so chaotic, I couldn’t get it under control.

This is bad…

I turn around to look at Miyuha.

Miyuha looked straight back at me with a thin smile on her face.

What is this monster? Has this monster been hiding near me all this time?

I tried to make normal small talk, in disbelief.

“Uh, Miyuha? Well, how was the interview?

“Why are you acting like a father who’s having trouble with his child? I’m not going to mess up in a mere interview.”

“Oh, yeah, that’s right…”

Oh, man. She’s scary. My sister is really scary.

“By the way, brother, do you know what will happen if you disobey me in the future?”

This,

What Miyuha took out was the tearjerker masterpiece eroge, “Sister x Alien”

“Wait a minute!”

I reached out to grab it, but she just dodged.

“A brother enjoying an erotic game where little sisters are being violated by aliens… I wonder what would happen to such a brother, if the world finds out?”

“Kill me! Quickly! Do it now!”

I threw my chest out wide, as if offering my own heart. Go ahead, gouge it out now.

“Okay, so from now on, you will never disobey me again.”

Fufun, Miyuha was cocky and proud of her victory.

Damn it… Am I going to spend the rest of my life as my sister’s slave?

I mean, after all this time, I don’t know how this girl managed to draw so many illustrations of little sister characters being raped by aliens when she’s a sister herself! That’s for twelve characters!

“Besides, what’s more important now is your idiot brother’s challenge, right?”

I widened my eyes. Miyuha never ceases to amaze me.

“You mean the challenge with Senri. How did you even know about that? I mean, you also knew that our mom was Mating Press.”

“You know, I can hear the voices from the next room if I use my stethoscope. And you’ve been acting weird since a while.”

Miyuha said it like it was nothing, but I can’t stop asking.

“I’m sorry, stethoscope? That thing you use to play doctor? What? Why do you have that? Why are you using it for eavesdropping in my room?”

“Well, that’s not important.”

Miyuha’s cheeks flushed pink as she looked away, but Mirei said,

“Aha! I knew it was you. You were always close to your brother, and you never listened to me when you had to separate the rooms… So since you wanted to be close to your brother, you took the stethoscope…”

As Mirei was speaking, Miyuha’s face was turning redder.

“Stop it! Mom, stop! Don’t talk about me!”

She coughed deliberately and cut off the flow… Oh, that’s something I often do too. I can’t believe how intentionally this looks…

“And…”

Miyuha said, regaining her composure.

“What were we talking about?”

“Where did you get that stethoscope?”

“I told you to stop talking about it! I’m talking about my brother! Hey, mom, your son is in trouble, right?”

“I don’t care if it’s lingerie, I don’t think a junior high school girl should be wearing laced panties.”

“How long are you going to keep dragging me into this? You don’t care about what I have to say!”

No, it can’t be like that, though. A junior high school student’s sister carrying a stethoscope and wearing lace underwear is a problem that should be pursued in a family meeting, yes.

I made eye contact with her, and she nodded her head yes.

“I get it now! I’ll be happy to accompany you to a family meeting later. Anyway, it’s about my brother’s challenge now. You don’t want him to never be able to write again, do you?”

“No! Haru-kun is going to be an erotic novelist like his mother!”

“No, I want to be a normal writer!”

Anyway,

“My writing hasn’t progressed a bit. I mean, I haven’t even decided what kind of story I want to tell.”

“That’s a serious problem. If you could at least decide what kind of story it would be, I could draw some pictures to stimulate your imagination.”

“Oh, you’re going to do all that for me?”

I stared at my sister intently. Miyuha gasped.

“You know, I don’t want my idiot brother to lose the game, either, I mean, I want my idiot brother not only to win the game, but also to get the top ranking and quickly debut as a writer.”

“Oh, you were thinking about me that much?”

Your brother is impressed. I was worried that my sister might have become a good for nothing just like her mother, but I didn’t realize that she was such a good girl who cared about her brother. Like she used to be.

“No, you’re mistaken.”

She pointed her index finger at me.

“I just want expensive art supplies and high-spec LCD tablets. I want to study abroad in the future, so I need to save up for that. Our family’s finances are on fire, so we’ll have to work together to earn money.”

Miyuha smiled as if she had said something good.

“Don’t go abroad, Miyuhaaaaa! Stay at home!”

“That’s right, Miyuha-chan, don’t abandon your mommyyyyyyyyy!”

“You’re overreacting! You should be impressed with what I said. Isn’t it such a great development that a family is working together?”

“But if it results in Miyuha going abroad then I don’t want it?”

“That’s right. If the family gets separated, won’t the world end?”

We nodded at each other, “Right?”

“You bastards…! You should’ve supported me a little…!”

Miyuha quivered in anger, but sighed again.

“Okay, I’ll be serious. Stupid brother, can’t you at least give me a hint as to what to do?”

“A hint. Oh yes, so much has happened today that I forgot.”

I had received a very important hint. But it was days ago. However, Kimeseku sensei reminded me of it today.

“When you write a novel, keep it short and concise, about what you know. It’s like, if you write about something you know very well, then you should try to compress it and write about it. In fact, award-winning works and major successes tend to be like that.”

Miyuha was impressed, “Really?”

“That’s really good advice. If you ask me, it’s true.”

“My Giri-Gami falls into that category. It’s slightly twisted off from reality with Haru-kun thought.”

I don’t see how incest is a ‘slightly twisted’ thing

“I think the person who gave you that advice is a pretty great person.”

I tilted my head at her,

“No, it was you! You’re the one who said it!”

“Oh, did I?”

You forgot,,, Seriously, what’s wrong with this mother of mine?

I took a breath and said.

“Well, it’s not just you. One of the veteran writers agrees. I’m sure that’s a clue to solving the problem.”

“Well, who is this veteran writer, by the way? Is he famous?”

To her question I twisted my head at Miyuha.

“No, he’s just a deadbeat father. His only daughter hates him and he’s already in a mess.”

“You know him, Mom? Then I’ll have to say hello to him sometime.”

Why is she so interested in him?

“He’s no big deal… He just likes me because we’re kinda similar in a way.”

“Fuh, resembling my idiot brother is really not a big deal.”

“Oi!!”

Miyuha snickered,

“What’s his name?”

I puffed my cheek.

“He’s a writer called Kimeseku.”

“Huh? Kimeseku!”

Miyuha widened her eyes in astonishment.

“Kimeseku, do you mean the god of novels…”

“Ara, is he really that great a person?”

“He’s not just great! In the last twenty years, he has published over three hundred books, all of which have sold well. He’s one of the most successful writers in Japan’s history, with a total of 300 million copies published under all of his pen names! You’re acquainted with such a big name?”

“He’s not that great. I was so pissed off once that I punched him.”

When I said this, Miyuha opened her mouth so wide as if her jaw came off the floor in surprise.

“You punched him? You punched that god in the face?”

“Haru-kun, I don’t approve of violence. Meh.”

“Hey, hey…”

“Why are you acting so normal? You should be more surprised! It’s that Kimeseku! He’s a god who is said to leave his name in Japanese literary history forever! My brother is acquainted with such a god! And what? You punched him! And he even likes you. What are you, Onii-chan?”

“You’re exaggerating. He’s just a bad father who likes to talk dirty.”

Hie~ Miuha’s mouth was agape.

Mirei didn’t seem to understand what was going on, but she seemed happy anyway.

“If you have someone with that caliber on your side, you’re in good hands.”

“Not just a hundred people, he’s a monster that even if all the writers in Japan got together, they still wouldn’t be able to beat him.”

And that person said to my mother that she’s got potential. Though I’m not going to tell her because I’m a bit frustrated.

“Anyway, I’m against his daughter in this challenge.”

When I said that without hesitation while shaking the back of my head, Miyuha’s surprised reaction came, 

“What!!!??? You’re fighting against the Daughter of God.”

“Not that of a god. Senri-or whatever is just an overly conscious college girl.”

“Oh, that little girl, right? I think her name is Senri. Maybe she’s in elementary school? I didn’t know she came from such great parents.”

“How do you know that?”

“Oh, no, I just heard from a passing mother!”

No, you can’t cover your face with your hands now. It was obvious that you had followed me to Starbucks. Don’t ever wear a shirt with “Son Love” printed on it outside again, please. I’m sure you screwed my Akiba date because you knew I accepted her challenge.

“You’re involved in one hell of a battle…! I can’t believe this was a holy war against the Daughter of God.”

A holy war against the Daughter of God, what with that epic fantasy in your head?

Miyuha wiped the sweat from her forehead.

“Stupid brother, how could you dare to play a betting game with such a big guy…? You’re crazy…!”

“Don’t call your brother crazy, it’ll hurt him.”

Oh, man, I breathed.

“When I accepted the challenge, I didn’t think much about it. I just knew that if I could get the top ranking with my work, I could make it into a book, and more importantly I didn’t like the way Senri was behaving.”

I also think I was in a hurry to make my debut as a writer, not only because of my mother, but also because Rinka had overtaken me.

“In hindsight, I think I may have been a bit rash and reckless.”

And, I continued.

“I felt sorry for her.”

“Sorry?”

“Senri didn’t have a loving family. Her mother died early, and her father was a workaholic who abandoned her… Apparently, Senri was raised by her grandparents. Well, I didn’t know the details until later. But anyway, I wanted to give her a good talking to when she belittles the love of a family.”

Yeah, I wanted to teach her a lesson… That’s when I said,

“Don’t you dare to belittle my family.”

“”……!””

Both Mirei and Miyuha were speechless, but smiled fearlessly.

“Well, then, I guess we’ve got a story for you to write, stupid brother.”

“Yes, I feel the same. I think it’s the only way.”

The two of them nodded at each other. 

“Hmm?”

“Did you come up with any good ideas?”

“Cause,” Miyuha said, alternating with Mirei as she continued.

“The theme is family love.”

“I wanted to make Senri-chan squeal.”

“If you want to write something short and concise about what you are familiar with.”

“Mou, you already know the story.”

When they said that much, I finally realized what they meant. I wondered why I hadn’t thought of something so simple. The perfect subject was lying right in front of me.

I nodded my head with conviction.

Then Mirei and Miyuha said at the same time.

“”The Shimomura family… you can write about our own family.””

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