For I Am A Side Character - 52: A Time to Conquer Fear.

That same night, without rest…Soril visited his master.

the last time he was able to visit the school was two nights ago.

Now as he stands in front of his master’s door, he kneeled in respect.

“Come in…” said his master as he felt the presence of his student kneeling behind his door.

As Soril entered the halls, he noticed that Brother Cecil wasn’t with the teacher on this day. So he asked.

“Where’s brother Cecil?”

“He’s on a mission. He’ll be back in a couple of days.” As his master spoke of this, he pulled out his sword from his shadow and he pointed it at his student with a clear show of bloodlust.

In this show of power, Soril felt fear from his master’s blind gaze. In this moment, he wanted to apologize. Apologize for not being able to attend the training last night.

“Master, I apologize if I wasn’t able to come last night…I was- “

“Silence.” His master spoke before he could even say his piece, it left Soril shaking in fear.

“…” Soril could only keep quiet as he waited for his master’s words.

“Seeing the progress of your time with the first trial, I’m starting to worry if you are even able to surpass your fears.”

“Master…I-“

“Excuses are not meant to be said in my house. Do you understand me, Soril?” spoke his master as he left him cut from his sentence once again.

“You only do what is entrusted to you as a child of the house of shadows…that is your role.”

“…Yes master.”

“Tonight…this night, I want you to go back to the trial and this time, I don’t want you to leave the stone until you finally surpassed your fears.”

“…”

“Even if it takes you days, or months, I don’t want you to leave the hollow stone not until you have become a man incapable of fear…if you do come out and I see a hint of fear in your eyes, I will personally carve them out with my bare hands, do you understand me.”

“…Y-yes master.” In his shaking voice, he agreed…he could not go against his master.

“…Acquire the Ethereal Will of the Dark.”

***

Under the dojo, inside the dark tunnels from where he entered through the well…what awaited before him was the sight of the hollow stone.

“…” with heavy breaths, he prepared himself.

“….last time…this is the last time I’ll be going in.” as he swallowed his spit in the nervousness of it all, he turned back to see his master staring at him with his blind sight. The threat that came from that man was comparable to the monster that he faced inside the stone…to it, he had no choice to go through with this.

As he stepped in, all but in an instant, he came to find himself in the usual dark void. And soon after, he felt the burning sensation of a crimson flame, and the glare of a mad unspeaking man who was more of a monster with armor as rugged as a dead dragon’s scale.

He stood unmoving as his foot remained stuck to the floor by an unknown force of power.

He’s already faced him over a hundred and more times than he could count. By this time, he barely cared how much he has experienced death from the man in front of him. With no weapons on hand, he only managed to raise his hand forward with the idea that he could fight him bare-handed. The man who carried a flaming sword that reeked of death, he did not have a choice but to fight him bare.

Now as he stood with a grieving expression, with cold sweat dripping from his forehead and a beating heart that was moving twice its speed, the nerve of his entire body synced with the fear brough upon by the man in front of him.

“…come on, lets do this.” He said as he puts up his arm, readying himself.

But the moment he did, he saw the man raise his hand into the air and he conjured a power unlike anything he has seen before…and before he could even fully grasp this power, he felt the force of an entire sun crashing into him in the instant he felt revved for courage.

“!?”

The next thing he knew, he was found standing in the dark void once again.

“…Again!” he said as he tried to force himself off from the ground. With the power he had, he could easily rip his own legs off, but because of some unknown force he could not move from his place even with every test and trial he made in the hundreds of thousands of deaths he experienced. It all ended with him staying in place and dying in the hands of the man in front of him.

Yet again, he died so foolishly.

There is a quote…

Do the things you fear the most, and death of fear is certain.

In this simple statement, one can always tell that he has not yet surpassed his fear.

Even though he has faced death over a hundred times, the fact that he is slowly becoming numb to the fear of death does not entail him with the idea that he has conquered fear. He may have become braver in certain situations, but fear still lingered inside him. And because of this, the pain he felt each death he came across this hollow stone would never end.

Bravery does not prove fearlessness to its purity.

So dying…

Over and over again…

one could only imagine the fate of his state of mind.

On his 456th revival, he found himself staring at the man before him with an unchanged expression. His helmet covered his face, yet he could easily tell what form of thought was made inside it.

Anger…anger was what resided in the expression of the man who wore the armor and carried the sword.

Anger towards Soril.

“…Why?…Why are you mad at me?” he asked.

“…” but even if he did, the man did not answer.

“…I did everything I can to try and oppose you, but I can’t. I can’t move from where I stand…I can’t defend myself against the gap between our strengths.”

“…”

“I know you know this…but I have to say it. Your strong….”

“…”

“You’re the strongest person who I have ever meet and I don’t think I can ever compare you with anyone else….”

“…”

In the silence that came from the man, Soril thought deep of what he had to do.

And yet again, he raised his hands up with the intention to fight.

“…I can’t compare you with anyone…and I’m starting to feel jealous about it. Your strength…your power, the way you feel like an unstoppable object, you’re the everything that a man can be.”

“…I’m envious.”

“But I have to surpass you…so come on…”

With his hands up with the passion to swing, he gripped so tight, he could feel it shaking to no end.

“COME ON!!!”

He screamed…

He screamed with rage.

He screamed at the man who was so powerful, he was but a weak infant in his eyes.

And in response, the man finally did something different.

He dropped his sword.

“…” and he came close to Soril with a pace so unnerving, it could have made Soril shit himself.

As he stood in front of him, only a meter apart.

He spoke.

“What do you think defines strength?” asked the man in armor in his coarse muffled voice.

“!?”

“Answer me.” He said.

“…I…I don’t know.”

In the nervousness and unpredictability of it all, he could not answer. It was too much. For the man who slaughtered him to no end, and to suddenly approach him with a question, one would be left unnerved by this.

“Well, I’ll tell you. Strength does not come from what you can do…it comes from overcoming the things you couldn’t do…the things you thought you wouldn’t surpass.”

“Here and now, you are growing more than what others could have imagined you to be, but that isn’t enough.”

“…W-what?”

“…You are God’s Mercenary…and to be his knife, you must become the strongest.” and in his words, he burned into a blaze of fire that eradicated Soril from where he stood.

“!?”

The next thing he knew, he found himself standing in front of the man who was now carrying a sword filled with fire.

and he spoke again…

“I know this is our last interaction with one another, so to it, I will show what it means to overcome fear in its purity.”

In that moment, he showed him something that simply caused Soril flinch in a way that caused him to shield himself instinctively.

“!!” an unidentified power surges from the man in armor…and in it, this show of power caused Soril to shake uncontrollably.

It was unlike anything he has faced in his entire encounter with him. It wasn’t just fear at its definition, but it was fear that simply overshadowed everything else. A fear that devoured everything.

“!?” as Soril tried to defend himself in the instant he could, he was already in the clutches of his presence.

And by his notice, Soril found that the man in armor was in a completely different state.

As Soril tried to tell what his expression was, he immediately noticed that his anger was nowhere to be seen, and instead what was replaced was a calm presence that was more powerful and more threatening than ever.

The fear brought upon his change caused Soril to choke almost immediately.

“Khk!” he tried to fight back the pressure brought upon the man in armor, but even with his strongest will, he choked. He could not breath well enough to keep him alive.

And the next thing he knew, he fainted.

A few minutes goes by and he found himself awake…awake in the void.

“….Khk!” and yet again, he was chocked by the presence brought upon by the man in armor.

Fainting and waking…fainting and waking…to some end, he fainted over fifty times before he could finally stand well enough to see the man in armor in his form.

“…What is this?” he asked.

“This is what you must overcome. This is fear…not death, but fear.” Said the man in armor.

“…fear?”

“Fear…overcome it and you will become God’s mercenary.”

“H-how do you know that?” he asked.

But the man did not answer.

“Fight me in my form…and if you do, you will come out of this room raised anew as a man untouchable by fear of all kinds.”

“…”

“Become strong Soril.” And in his words, his presence only grew from there.

And in response, Soril closed his eyes, and he raised his hands to fight him.

“Strength does not come from what you can do…it comes from overcoming the things you couldn’t.” said Soril as he reminded himself of the words of the man in armor.

And in it, in all manner of concentration, he meditated…

He thought deep…

He tried to find motivation…

To find a way to move his body against all odds from the fear that stood in front of him.

Memories…experiences…the things that gifted him his current strength…through all the hardships he experienced in the real world, he was able to gain it through his own hard work. And in this thought, he awoke with a fresh mind.

“…haaa..” he sighed…and finally he took his first step.

***

Time passes by and as the sun was finally about to rise, Kotoko Yagami, the master of this house sat in wooden floors of his Dojo.

Sipping tea as he waited…he waited…

Until finally, he felt the presence of a calm head and a calm step.

“I see that you have conquered fear. Well done. You have acquired the Ethereal Will of the Dark.” Said his master.

And by his praise, Soril walked into the Dojo.

“Hmm…I see no hints of fear whatsoever…but I have to test you otherwise.” Saying this, his master conjured a sword from the shadows and to it, he pointed his sword at him.

“Embrace my student…embrace fear…”

And in those words, with a slow but unchanging swing of his sword, it ran across the very skin of his student…dragging blood and flesh into a wound.

Yet to this event, Soril remained unfazed by it.

“Incredible, you have mastered fear to all its account.” Said his master.

And in response, Soril bowed with respect.

“Thank you master, but please, I have to excuse myself…my friends and I have plans today regarding the assignment left to us by the academy.” He spoke.

“Ah yes, very well…go on.” Said his master with a smile on his face.

As Soril turned his back to his master, Master Yagami was left in thought.

‘Unbelievable…to think that he was able to reach such a state of clear mindedness in such a short amount of time. If this is what tells of his talents, I can only assume that his path is more dreadful than I could ever imagine. As his master, I must prepare him well.’

What he saw in his student that day left him with a cold sweat…yet somehow, his emotions remained as usual.

It was very strange…