Every Sin Deserves Punishment - Chapter 6: The Language of Agapanthus Flowers

Chapter 6: The Language of Agapanthus Flowers

There’s a dog.

My body stiffens. I can’t move, as if caught in a spell. Ever since I was knocked over by a large dog, my body refuses to listen whenever I face one.

Until now, I’ve always chosen routes where dogs wouldn’t enter my sight on my way to school. But today, that road was blocked for construction before the end of the school day. As I reluctantly took a detour, I ran into a large outdoor dog.

The dog has a collar around its neck, tied to a doghouse. There’s also a fence to prevent it from jumping out.

But I’m scared. What if it tears the leash with its four legs, jumps over the fence, and pounces on me? My imagination runs wild like a spring, and I can’t stop thinking of these terrible scenarios.

To get home, I have no choice but to pass in front of the dog. I gather my courage and take a step forward. Suppressing the urge to curl up in the corner of the road, I carefully control my footsteps, walking as quietly as possible.

It’s quiet. As I glance to the side, the large dog is sitting lazily on the lawn, seemingly unaware of me, lost in its own world. Stay like that. Please, stay like that until I’m safely past this path.

Suddenly, I feel something under my toes. The sharp sound that follows startles me, making my body twitch. It was just a small stone I kicked, but the sound, like a cymbal crashing to the ground, felt absurdly loud. In the stillness of the road, even the smallest noise can become deafening. The dog, roused from its slumber, might feel the same way. Its furry body rises, barking furiously as if I were an intruder.

A strange sound escapes from my mouth. My body shivers. The creature that opens and closes its mouth to bark looks like a terrifying monster from a manga. Unable to bear the terror, I tightly close my eyes. Even though the dog is no longer in my sight, its barking doesn’t stop. My mind is filled with terror and anxiety, and I curl up, shrinking. A hot sensation wells up in my eyes.

“Nakiri?”

I snap my eyes open at the sound of my name. Reflexively turning around, I see Shikura-kun standing there, looking wide-eyed as if he’s seen something unbelievable.

“Why…”

I was seen crying. Of all people, by Shikura-kun. Facing reality, my earlobes heat up as if they’ve caught fire.

Shikura-kun and I have always competed with each other—in art class, on tests, in races. We’ve won and lost against each other many times. I wanted to stay on equal footing with him. Showing weakness was the last thing I wanted. It’s embarrassing. I want to disappear. I wish I could fade away, dissolve into the blurry edges of my vision.

I hear footsteps approaching. I don’t want to be laughed at by Shikura-kun, so I tightly close my eyes again.

Suddenly, something warm envelops my hand. Startled, I almost cry out, but I stubbornly hold it in. Cautiously, I lift my eyelids to see what’s touching my fingers.

“Let’s go.”

He gently pulls my hand, and I take a step forward. With the dog’s barking as our background music, the simple town scenery flows behind us. I look up, and Shikura-kun’s mouth is drawn into a tight line. A slight tremor travels through my fingertips.

Is he scared too? The thought crosses my mind, but I don’t ask. His serious expression, as if we’re in the middle of one of our competitions, holds my gaze firmly. I feel like a princess being led by her prince.

The dog’s barking stops. The warmth leaves my hand.

“That dog was so noisy. What’s its owner doing?”

Shikura-kun lets out a big sigh, the tension visibly leaving his body. The calm, confident demeanor he had just moments ago is nowhere to be found. He’s back to his usual classmate self.

“Shikura-kun, why are you here?”

His familiar tone helps me find my voice again. 

“Why, you ask? I came after you because you left something behind, Nakiri.” 

Shikura-kun brings his backpack to the front, opens the lid, and takes out a notebook. The cover has a vivid purple flower on it. In the name column, it says ‘Nakiri Yukiha.’ It’s my contact book.

“Here.”

Shikura-kun roughly holds out the contact book. I extend both arms and grasp the green ends, hugging it. A smile forms on my lips. The notebook I usually hold now seems to sparkle as if decorated with beads. Even though it’s something I could easily forget, I strongly feel that I don’t want to let it go.

“Don’t forget it again.”

Shikura-kun averts his gaze. Is he embarrassed? His cheeks turn a reddish-brown. I know it’s not like him, but he chased after me for my sake. That fact makes me incredibly happy.

“Yes… thank you, Yuu-kun.”

Words of gratitude escape my mouth. Until now, I couldn’t say them because I was embarrassed, but today, they came out smoothly. I wonder why, but I’m too caught up in the emotions swirling in my heart to care. I see off Yuu-kun, who runs away, and enter my house with a warm feeling. I realize that I called Shikura-kun by his name and hug my pillow, rolling on my bed.

◇

The day after I left school early, I went to the audiovisual room after school. I greet the upperclassmen in the spacious room and engage in broadcasting club activities. The tasks for new club members are mundane. We place our hands on our abdomen and practice vocalization. We read aloud from a book. We repeat the process of inflating our lungs and exhaling. Even without doing anything special, just speaking makes us sweat. The act of vibrating our vocal cords takes more energy than I thought. It seems that the story about dieting through karaoke isn’t entirely wrong.

I look at the glass partition of the room, and a senior is fiddling with the equipment. Video production and drama-making are also part of the club’s activities. We were told about this beforehand, but the club activities are more serious than I expected. The seniors’ serious expressions are intense. Thinking about being ungrateful to such hardworking people makes me feel dizzy.

I ask the senior to teach me how to operate the equipment. What I want to learn is how to use the devices related to the lunchtime broadcast. Failure is not an option. I ask for detailed instructions.

After learning the necessary pieces for my revenge, the club activities come to a close. I eagerly drink from a water bottle. It’s delicious. The tasteless liquid seems to permeate my body. It tastes better than usual, and I keep gulping it down.

“Ichigaya-san, you don’t seem very energetic today.”

As I’m relishing the taste of water, the little devil who is sure to trace her fingers around the knees of high school boys to tease them calls out to me. She still has that mischievous smile on her face. I almost frown but refrain from doing so to avoid making enemies with the boys in the room. I respond calmly.

“I think I’m as energetic as usual, but do I seem unenergetic to you?”

“You do. Did something happen?”

Her shiny black hair sways. Is it an antiperspirant? After her mature smile, a refreshing fragrance reaches me. I remember the fragrance that wafted from Nakiri’s hair and turned away, feeling embarrassed.

“Nothing in particular.”

“There must be something. Come on, tell Onee-san about it.”

She pokes my cheek with her index finger, and I turn away, at a loss for words. I can’t possibly consult her about this. I can’t tell her that I tried to stalk my childhood friend, only to be caught in the act by that same person.

I’ve been living my student life as usual. Judging by the fact that I haven’t been called to the guidance room, Nakiri seems to be keeping the letter incident a secret. I haven’t written any new letters since then. Ever since I walked home with Nakiri, the raging fire in my heart has subsided. Maybe I was unconsciously scared when Nakiri witnessed the scene. Even though I feel the urge to take the next step in my revenge, the fire of revenge doesn’t ignite. I spend my days floundering like I’m underwater.

My daily life has also been affected. I can’t focus on my studies at all. Before, knowledge would seep into my head like water into paper, but since that day, the paper has turned into oil, repelling the knowledge. I can’t even concentrate on my studies. The emotion of hatred seems to have brought me more vitality than I thought.

This school has a fast-paced curriculum. If I don’t understand something, I won’t be able to comprehend the content of the next lesson. The consequences of my laziness will accumulate like heavy snow and will eventually crush me. If I can’t keep up, I’ll have to attend remedial classes, and if that doesn’t work, I’ll face retention and then expulsion.

I clench my fingers, feeling the anxiety of being left behind. I can’t possibly allow such a future. I have to be happy. Even if I do what I need to do, it’s meaningless if I don’t walk towards a happy future afterward. If I get expelled, I’ll definitely move away from happiness. I have to find a way to break free from this situation.

“Ichigaya-san, is there really nothing wrong? You have a scary look on your face.”

Suga-senpai points it out, and I cover my eyes with my fingers. This is not the first time I’ve been told that my expression looks scary. I should have practiced my poker face more before entering school. I remember the smile I adjusted in the school’s window glass. I stimulate my facial muscles to fix my expression. Now I look like a good boy. Confidently, I lower my hand.

“Sorry. I’m a bit sleep-deprived.”

“So you stayed up late? You’re a naughty boy.”

“Yes.”

“Dont ‘Yes’ me.’ Even if you don’t move your hands and feet, you still use energy when being awake, so you need to get enough sleep, okay?”

I’m being scolded. I feel like a child. When was the last time someone scolded me?

I had just been scolded by Nakiri the other day. It seems my head is still in a daze. Even if I think about it on my own, it doesn’t seem like any decent ideas will come to mind.

“Senpai, can I ask you something?”

“What is it?”

“What do you do when you lose motivation to study?”

“Sleep.”

That answer is of no use. I’ve slept dozens of times since then, and I know from experience that it doesn’t work.

“What else?”

“I eat. Mainly sweets.”

“Anything else?”

“Anything else huh…”

Sugad-senpai puts her index finger on her lips and looks up at the ceiling, groaning.

“A nap, perhaps?”

“What’s the difference between that and sleeping…?”

I can’t help but feel disheartened. It was a mistake to seek help from a student who’s only older than me in age. Asking a teacher also feels inappropriate. What should I do?

The mature beauty pouts.

“Hey, what’s that face? You’re being cheeky.”

“Yeah, because…”

“Don’t, ‘because’ me. Futaba, come here.”

Suga-senpai beckons, and a small ponytail bounces in the distance. She stretches out her thin arms to the sides and flies towards me like an airplane.

“Yes, sir! Futaba-chan reporting for duty! What’s up, baby?”

“Ichigaya-san did something perverted to me.”

“What!?”

Namisugi-senpai’s eyes widen in surprise.

“No, that’s not true! Don’t say such nonsense!”

I reflexively shout in defense. Suga-senpai is popular. She’s a witch who teases her juniors, but she’s generally liked by the club members. If I do something despicable to such a person, I’ll immediately lose my place in the clubroom. It’s more convenient for my revenge to be as a member of the broadcasting club. I don’t want to be kicked out.

Suga-senpai laughs.

“Just kidding. Actually, I wanted to ask Futaba something.”

“Oh, you want to ask me something? What is it?”

makes a gun shape with her thumb and index finger, placing the base of her fingers against her chin. It seems that the intellectual character she envisions often takes such poses. The way she narrows her eyes and smirks is endearing, like a child stretching to reach something.

But anyway.

“I’ve been wondering since earlier, but is it trendy to add ‘ka-ne’ to the end of your sentences?” (T/N: 1.)

“I mean, like, saying ‘ka-ne’ makes you sound KINDA, like, kinda arrogant, doesn’t it? It makes you feel like you’ve become important, and that, like, kinda makes me happy!”

“You said ‘like’ four times, but is there any meaning to it?”

“No meaning! Is there a problem with that?”

Namisugi-senpai puffs out her chest proudly. In other words, she just simply wants to use ‘kane’ as much as she can. Her future husband will probably have a hard time.

“Futaba-senpai, what do you do when you can’t focus on studying?”

“Sleep!”

“Anything else?”

“Maybe a change of mood. It’s what people call ‘pleasure’ in everyday terms.”

“Specifically?”

“Shouting, running, or dancing. The Futabattan Dance I developed recently feels good, so why don’t you try it?”

“That sounds nice. I won’t do it though, absolutely not.”

A sigh almost escapes my mouth. My Senpai’s sensibilities are out of this world. It’s a high hurdle for me, a common-sense person, to understand them. It’s a long and difficult road ahead. Will I be able to remain a broadcasting club member until my revenge is ripe?

Namisugi-senpai widens her eyes.

“Ah! Ichigaya-san tried to sigh in front of his Senpai! How rude!”

“Oh, you noticed?”

“Don’t ‘you noticed?’ Me! Take this!”

My shoulders are grabbed by her small hands, and I’m shaken back and forth. This is also a form of stimulation. I give in to the stimulation, hoping for a turnaround, and entrust my body to her thin arms. What if my vitality doesn’t return even after this? Should I blame this depressed feeling on Nakiri? I don’t know. I don’t know.

What do I even want to do?

T/N:

1. 1. Futabacchi-sempai’s raw dialogue is like this, “«hou~, watashi ni kiki taiko to na. Nanikane?»” Usually it’s Nani? Nanda? But with Nanikane, it kinda sounds like the speaker is someone superior to you, like your chief at work saying, “Hou? You have a question to this me?”