Dungeon's Final Boss: Banished by My Boss, the Goddess, to Earth—So I'll Continue My Past Life - 47

Chapter 47: Sudden Expansion into America

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When you think of America, you think of donuts.

With that bias in mind, I suddenly opened a new Dungeon Convenience Store in a newly emerged dungeon in America. Dungeon Convenience Store: New York Branch. I had been struggling with what to use in place of onigiri, but donuts turned out to be the perfect solution.

The Powerful Onigiri (Salmon) for strength buffs became a Chocolate Donut.

The Speed Onigiri (Tuna Mayo) for agility buffs became a Sugar Donut.

The Magic Power Onigiri (Kombu) for magic buffs became a Honey Donut.

The Guard Onigiri (Cod Roe) for endurance buffs became a Maple Donut.

As for the Stamina Karaage (Garlic Soy Sauce Flavor) for stamina buffs—I left that as it was.

I was certain that karaage would be a hit worldwide.

† † Awakened Ones’ Forum – America † †

: I heard a mysterious facility popped up in the New York dungeon?

: They say it’s the same Dungeon Convenience Store that exists in Japan.

: A convenience store? What’s the point of opening a store inside a dungeon?

: You don’t know? The golem that took down Rock Barnhorn was actually a rental unit from that Dungeon Convenience Store.

: A rental unit? Wow, are you serious?!

: So you’re telling me I can borrow the golem that punched Rock? That’s insane!

: Be careful, though. Word is that monsters defeated by the golem don’t drop magic stones or loot.

: What the hell?

: That’s kinda useless, then.

: Maybe, but it’s a lifesaver for non-combatants entering the dungeon. Plus, the food and drinks they sell apparently have buff and healing effects.

: Rumor has it they even sell a potion that can bring people back to life?

: But no one’s actually seen it used, right?

: Yeah. I mean, it’s ridiculously expensive. The other stuff is cheap, though.

: Still, if it really revives the dead, it’d be a bargain, but still, it’s not something you’d use lightly.

: Forget that, I wanna know more about the golem that beat Rock’s ass. Is it really that strong?

: Only one way to find out.

: But it’s only in New York, huh? Someone local to New York better go check it out properly.

: Yeah, but… It might not be that easy.

: Why’s that?

: You never know how Rock’s fanboys are gonna react.

: Oh.

: Yeah, that.

: Those guys are the reason Americans get called savages. Wish they’d realize that.

: I mean, we’re talking about people who think treating women like sex objects is somehow ‘manly.’

: They should just disappear already.

: Exactly.

† † Dungeon Convenience Store – New York Branch † †

At first, the Japanese branches of the Dungeon Convenience Store were named after their local areas, but recently, I decided to standardize them by prefecture name. Japan would get one store per prefecture. For other countries, I might go with one store per country, depending on the situation, but I would probably name them after regional areas. For America, that meant state names.

The dungeon where the New York branch was located had the atmosphere of an Old West movie scene. A yellowish wind carrying dust, tumbleweeds rolling by, and rows of buildings that looked like they could be blown away by a strong gust. Since the entrance had that kind of aesthetic, I designed the store to resemble a saloon. The counter was manned by the same type of golem as other branches, though. Going all the way with the theme would’ve been too much effort.

Since it was set up like a saloon, there were round tables and chairs in front of the counter, where awakened ones could sit to eat their purchased donuts or having final strategy discussions before heading into the dungeon.

Amidst all this, the saloon-style swinging doors suddenly burst open, and a large group of awakened ones stormed in. The tense atmosphere made the other awakened ones instinctively step aside, clearing a path for them. At the end of that path stood the store’s golem clerk, waiting silently.

“Welcome. Here is the menu. Please place your order.”

“Hmph!”

Ignoring the golem’s standard greeting, the awakened ones launched an all-out attack on it. Shockwaves from swords, long-range gunfire, heat waves from magic—various destructive forces rained down on the golem. But all of them were deflected by the Absolute Barrier in front of the counter.

“Destructive actions inside the store are strictly prohibited. This is your first warning. If you repeat this behavior, I will take elimination measures.”

“Shut the hell up, woman!”

“If you think you can take us, go ahead and try!”

“We are Rock Faction! We fight for the restoration of men’s rights! Your store’s services insulted our icon, Rock Barnhorn! Thus, we shall purge you!”

“Let’s do it!”

“”“OOHH!!”””

The golem’s warning was ignored, drowned out by a chorus of foul-mouthed shouts as another wave of attacks was launched.

“I warned you.”

The golem smoothly stepped through the counter and emerged before the awakened ones.

Thus, the battle began. Some of the other awakened ones had already fled. Those who remained activated their recording drones and started livestreaming the scene on video-sharing sites.

The world was now witnessing the golem’s overwhelming might. The warning demonstration in Japan hadn’t gained much recognition overseas. Even if it had, today’s incident likely wouldn’t have been avoided. Besides, anyone with enough tactical awareness to assess an enemy’s strength wouldn’t have thrown themselves into this mess in the first place.

In other words, these guys had no idea how powerful the golem was. They simply saw a feminine, seemingly harmless figure and assumed they could overpower it. Then again, they had already come here intending to attack. Even if the golem had been an imposing male figure, who’s to say they wouldn’t have attacked anyway?

Regardless…

These idiots never questioned anything. They blindly admired Rock Barnhorn’s strength and accepted his sexual harassment as gospel, acting with a cult-like devotion. They were never going to become amazing awakened ones. Not a single one of them could track the golem’s movements. They were sent flying by the golem’s merciless punches, spun through the air by the golem’s sweeping kicks, and used as blunt weapons—swung by their own legs to smash into their comrades.

The only sounds filling the space were their screams. Or the voices of those livestreaming from the battlefield:

“What the hell?! What’s happening?!”

“Jesus Christ…”

Those words spread across the internet in real time. Before long, every last attacker lay motionless. The golem promptly tossed them all outside the store. Then, approaching one of the recording drones, the golem turned to its presumed owner and said, “Excuse me.” Facing the camera, the golem said.

“At Dungeon Convenience Stores, entry into employee-only areas, unsheathing weapons inside the store, preparing magic, and all other hostile actions are strictly prohibited. Failure to comply will result in the use of force. If customers are akin to gods, then we will say we welcome deities of fortune—but for deities of misfortune, only death awaits. Do not assume you will have another opportunity to break the laws.”

It was the exact same speech the golem had used in  KAITO’s video. Since the golem spoke in the universal language, everyone who watched the video would have their understanding of the message forcibly aligned despite their language understanding.

I wish I could’ve thought of a phrase that would hit harder in an American context, but this would have to do.

At the very least, they now understood the store golem’s power. Hopefully, they’d also come to appreciate the convenience of the Dungeon Convenience Store. America was vast. If I could expand into every state, my magic stone collection would go much more smoothly.

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