Dungeon's Final Boss: Banished by My Boss, the Goddess, to Earth—So I'll Continue My Past Life - 39

Chapter 39: Dungeon Convenience Store’s Defense Capability

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『Alright, welcome to D-Tuber KAITO’s show!』

『Today, we’re going to dig into the secrets of the rumored Dungeon Convenience Store!』

『Breaking taboos without hesitation—that’s just who I am!』

On the screen, a man wearing host-style makeup struck a dramatic pose. Seeing him triggered a faint sense of nostalgia.

I think I used to listen to visual kei music back in middle and high school. Yeah, I can even recall the band names from memory, so I must have listened to them pretty intensely.

My long history as a dungeon monster seemed to interfere with retrieving memories from my human days. How inconvenient. Thinking back, I realized I didn’t have any CDs in this room. If I wanted to listen to music, I had to buy it on my smartphone. Not needing to buy a stereo system anymore was good for saving space, but I felt like there was something romantic about collecting that kind of equipment. 

It was a little sad that all that romance had been compressed into thin slabs of plastic and glass, but I guess this was just the era we lived in. If humanity’s sense of romance kept getting compressed, maybe one day we might truly reach the age of space travel. 

“Oops.”

I had been so uninterested in the video that my thoughts had wandered off completely to another direction. I hurriedly pulled my mind back from deep space and refocused on the smartphone screen. After KAITO’s rambling monologue, the video finally reached the part about the Dungeon Convenience Store.

This was an archive of a past livestream, and even then, it was a re-upload by a third party. The original video no longer existed on KAITO’s Time channel. Since his monologue didn’t interest me in the slightest, I decided to skip ahead to the important scene.

『We have arrived! This is the Dungeon Convenience Store! They offer rice balls and drinks with various buffs, golem rentals, and even some suspicious white powder! It’s said that there’s at least one in every prefecture in Japan now!』

『Welcome.』

『Hey there~ Are you human, or are you a monster?』

『…………』

『Oh, I see. The silent type, only speaking when necessary? So, are you a golem or what?』

『…………』

『Tch, whatever. Guess I’ll just do as I please.』

Bang!

KAITO tried to vault over the counter but was abruptly repelled by an invisible barrier.

『Gwah! Damn it! You wanna go, huh?! Wanna have some of me?!』

Suddenly flying into a thug-like rage, he pulled a sword from his item box. It was a ridiculously overdecorated longsword. Even hero-class adventurers from another world wouldn’t carry a weapon that excessively flashy.

『Dear customer, attacking inside the store is strictly prohibited.』

『Don’t mess with me! You think you can embarrass me and get away with it?!』

『Hostile actions detected. Engaging elimination protocol.』

『Hah! Just try me, you bas—』

Before he could finish his sentence, the store’s golem clerk moved out from behind the counter, grabbed KAITO by the face, and effortlessly carried him outside the convenience store—where it proceeded to dispose of him. Completely ignoring KAITO, the golem then turned its attention to the filming drone that had accompanied him.

『At Dungeon Convenience Stores, entry into employee-only areas, unsheathing weapons inside the store, preparing magic, and all other hostile actions are strictly prohibited. Failure to comply will result in the use of force. If customers are akin to gods, then we will say we welcome deities of fortune—but for deities of misfortune, only death awaits. Do not assume you will have another opportunity to break the laws.』

Having delivered its warning solely to the drone, the golem performed a perfect store employee’s bow before returning to its position behind the counter.

“Yeah, that was a perfect response.”

Ever since I learned about the existence of troublemaking video streamers, I had implemented countermeasures, and seeing them work exactly as intended was satisfying. Since dungeons were basically a place where people couldn’t get monitored easily, there was a prevailing attitude that as long as you didn’t get caught, anything could be done. Because of that, the Dungeon Convenience Store had been attacked multiple times already.

As long as the store clerk golem remained intact, its auto-repair function would handle any damage, and no reports would be necessary. However, in the unlikely event that the clerk golem was destroyed, the store would automatically enter defense mode. The various golems stored in my item box would then spawn infinitely, continuing to eliminate enemies until the threat was neutralized.

If it ever came to that, I would be notified immediately. This particular case was the first time I had seen the system handle a real incident I wasn’t directly present for, so it felt fresh to witness it like this.

By the way, I learned about this incident from Mio. Apparently, it had already made its rounds on D-Tuber news and was now blowing up in controversy. Most Awakened individuals seemed to view the existence of Dungeon Convenience Stores positively. The only ones complaining were either non-Awakened people or those living in regions without access to a Dungeon Convenience Store.

KAITO, the guy in the video, usually operated in a different dungeon. Maybe he was just upset that a Dungeon Convenience Store hadn’t appeared in his home turf. However, long-lasting dungeons were limited in number, so I couldn’t just establish new stores on a whim. If I set up a store only for the dungeon to be cleared within a few days, all my efforts would go to waste.

I would need to consider expanding the network for the future endeavor. As for KAITO, he had always been a reckless and problematic D-Tuber. This latest incident not only caused a massive controversy but also turned him into the butt of a joke. Even though he had deleted the video from his channel, clips of it had been spreading endlessly.

There’s a saying on the internet: 『The more you try to erase something, the more it multiplies.』

And sure enough, people had given the clips mocking titles like 『KAITO-kun’s Three-Panel Tragedy』, 『KAITO’s Three-Second Rage Cooking』, and 『KAITO’s Microsecond Drama Theater』. He had stopped uploading new videos, and the only ones still defending him were a handful of his die-hard fans.

I had no interest in what would happen to him next. As long as he didn’t seek revenge, he could still use the Dungeon Convenience Store. Though, depending on how things go, he might really end up dead next time. I should probably think of a response plan for that scenario. After all, as long as things inside the dungeon stayed out of public view, there wouldn’t be a problem.

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