Do You Like Romantic-Comedy Protagonists? - Chapter 18: Do You Like House Visits? 4

Chapter 18: Do You Like House Visits? 4

“Alright, I’m announcing today’s agenda.”

“Got it.”

Hachiya entered the kitchen and wrote on a whiteboard attached to the fridge, the marker squeaking pleasantly.

“Today’s agenda: Improve my cooking skills to make a delicious bento for Sousuke! Here we go!”

“…”

“Clap, clap!”

“Oh, uh…”

Clap, clap, clap.

“Yay!”

Hachiya cheered with high energy, clapping loudly, while Akaishi gave dry applause.

“They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. What’s your take on that?”

“Never experienced it, so I don’t know.”

“You’re so hopeless.”

Hachiya said, then immediately covered her mouth, looking like she regretted it.

Maybe she’s reflecting on yesterday, Akaishi thought, glancing at her.

“Guess so.”

“…Yeah.”

Hachiya’s voice softened slightly.

“Well, anyway, I’ll try cooking first, so wait there!”

She deliberately raised her tone.

“I’ll study some vocab then.”

“You brought something that boring to a girl’s house?”

“Figured it’d come to this.”

Akaishi and Hachiya exchanged pointless banter, and she started cooking.

※

Thirty minutes after Hachiya began cooking—

“Done!”

Hachiya shouted, presenting her dish to Akaishi.

“…What’s this?”

Akaishi squinted at the thing before him.

“What? Ham scrambled eggs.”

“Hold on.”

Akaishi looked again at the substance.

Beneath a mass of purple foam-like stuff lay a mushy, vomit-like mess.

“This?”

“Yup!”

Hachiya stood firm.

Akaishi took a breath and looked at her.

“Here we go.”

“Here we go, what!?”

Akaishi felt utter despair at her cooking.

So, the classic rom-com trope of a heroine who’s hopelessly bad at cooking, he thought, accepting it.

Staring at the thing, he noted it fit every rom-com cliché.

“Well… the taste is good, so eat it!”

“No way.”

Akaishi shot back instantly.

In rom-com terms, this was a culinary weapon.

One bite could knock out a person. Given Hachiya’s status as a rom-com heroine, the odds were high.

Cautiously, Akaishi put a bit in his mouth.

He chewed.

“So, it’s delicious, right!?”

Hachiya sought his opinion.

Akaishi looked at her and said,

“Awful.”

“What!?”

One word, clear and firm.

“Awful, disgustingly awful. Food is judged on looks, smell, and taste. This fails all three. I’m almost impressed you made something this bad with normal ingredients.”

“What!? You don’t have to be that harsh!”

“Pig slop.”

“Pig slop!?”

Hachiya was overwhelmed by Akaishi’s merciless words.

“If you’re so critical, try it yourself.”

Akaishi and Hachiya switched places.

“It should be good…”

Hachiya took a bite of her dish.

“Ugh…”

Her face turned blue, and she covered her mouth.

Holding her mouth, she ran to the bathroom, unfolding exactly as Akaishi predicted.

Returning pale and wiping her mouth, she said,

“Pig slop, huh…”

“Well.”

Relieved her taste buds weren’t broken, Akaishi sighed.

“Make it again.”

“Fine.”

To see how Hachiya created such a monstrosity, Akaishi decided to observe her process.

※

“First, prepare the ingredients.”

Hachiya placed the ingredients for the dish on the table.

Eggs and bacon were there, plus other items Akaishi had never seen.

Scanning them, he said,

“…Hold it.”

“What!?”

He signaled her to stop again.

Picking up one ingredient, he asked,

“What’s this…?”

He grimaced at a spiky, reddish-purple orb.

“I don’t know!”

“Why’re you using stuff you don’t know!?”

Akaishi set the mystery item on the counter and grabbed another.

“What are these ingredients!? Are they even food!? This is for some demon realm, isn’t it!?”

“I didn’t put in anything from a demon realm!”

Hachiya retorted instantly.

“Don’t use unknown ingredients!”

“B-But I thought rare stuff would make it tastier!”

“It doesn’t! Don’t get creative when you’re a beginner! Follow the recipe, and you’ll make something decent!”

Chastising her bizarre cooking methods, a common rom-com trope, Akaishi felt exasperated.

This might start with dismantling her weird cooking notions, he realized, understanding how rom-com heroines make culinary disasters.

“Fine. Use just eggs and bacon.”

“You’re so bossy!”

Grumbling, Hachiya cracked an egg with one hand.

“Don’t crack eggs one-handed! Stop showing off, you’ll get shells in it!”

“It’s fine! Stop saying ‘beginner’ all the time!”

“You made garbage because you’ve never cooked! Follow the recipe!”

“F-Fine, but following it doesn’t guarantee it’ll be good…!”

Hachiya cracked eggs with both hands, separating whites and yolks.

“…? Why separate them?”

“…? Why? I’m gonna whip the whites.”

“Whip them!?”

Hachiya grabbed a mixer, about to turn it on.

“Wait, wait, wait, wait! That purple foam was meringue!?”

“Meringue? Don’t use jargon! I don’t get it!”

“It’s not jargon, it’s common! No wonder…”

Recalling the purple foam on the dish, Akaishi groaned.

He shoved the recipe on his phone in her face.

“Where does it say to separate and whip the whites!? Follow—the—recipe!”

“I was being creative…”

“I said no creativity!”

Akaishi shouted, and Hachiya, intimidated, stepped back.

Determined to fix her rom-com cooking ineptitude, Akaishi got worked up.