Chapter 4: ① The Five Handsome Eunuchs Make Their Entrance!!

“My harem isn’t going to be all dudes, right?”

Deep within the royal palace—

In front of golden gleaming doors, lined up in a row were five handsome men, and Yuuri’s dream exploded zero seconds after launch.

(…Huh?)

A fragile prince type, a wild beastman, an intellectual with glasses, a playboy noble, and a cheerful tomboy. For some reason, they all stood there with complete confidence.

(Wait… where did my harem route go…?)

The moment he crossed the outer gate to the harem, roses had been blooming in his mind, and a festival of beautiful women’s hugs was supposed to be starting.

(My dream just got a drowning ending at the starting line!?)

A deep sigh escaped him. In the front garden, Yuuri looked up at the sky for a while. The glittering heavens were too merciless.

This place was supposed to be the dream Harem Kingdom, where beautiful women in gorgeous dresses would compete for his attention. Surrounded by sweet voices and smiles, not just a flower in each hand, but a whole garden’s worth. That was the plan.

(But what’s in front of me now is the perfect-faced five musketeers—what kind of hell is this!?)

Then one of them whispered in a strangely sultry voice.

“It is an honor to meet you… Lord Karou. Your eyes are like obsidian wet with moonlight.”

(What is with that poetry!?)

Next, the young man with silver-rimmed glasses stepped forward. From his pocket, he pulled out a ledger… a ledger!? A book!?

“Lord Karou, if I may be so presumptuous… this is the harem’s account book.”

(Why are you doing paperwork now!? This is definitely not the time!!)

Furthermore, the man with tied-back black hair laughed low.

“Heh, everyone desperately wants to receive Lord Karou’s affection. I’m no exception, but… please, don’t hate me.”

(Wait!? Why are there romance flags popping up when we just met!?)

An invisible window floated up in Yuuri’s mind.

▶ “Open your heart to the Poetry Prince”
▶ “Help him with the account books”
▶ “Untie his ribbon for him”
▶ “Get carried by the Beast King”
▶ “Give the tomboy a lap pillow”

(Impossible! No matter which one I choose, I only see a BAD future…!)

Then—a presence radiating overwhelming existence stepped forward. A chest like a rock, a golden mane that reflected sunlight—truly, the dignity of a walking king.

“Heard you were a hero from another world… but you’re scrawnier than I expected. Don’t worry, I’ll protect you.”

(Wait, why are you coming closer!? My defense stat is at zero here!?)

He reflexively stepped back—

That instant.

“Hehe, caught you.”

A voice whispered in his ear, and his heart jumped.

“Wha!? Who!?”

The moment he turned around, time felt like it stopped for a frame. Standing there was—the tomboy who should’ve been in front of him just a second ago.

(No way!? That kid was in front just now, right!? Did she warp!? Teleportation!? Where did you learn that skill!?)

Looking up with wide eyes, only the corners of her mouth curved sweetly.

“Big Brother Karou, are you feeling sick? Should I carry you inside princess-style?”

(…Princess… carry…?)

The tomboy’s arms were already reaching out, fully ready to scoop him up.

(Please stop! My pride! My dignity as a man in this other world!)

—At that moment.

“All of you, enough of this nonsense.”

A sharp voice rang out, and the atmosphere instantly froze. Turning around, the voice of reason—Celine—was scolding the five men.

(Ah… the sane one arrived…!!)

A faint glimmer of hope shone in Yuuri’s chest. The soul nearly cried at the appearance of “someone who seems normal.”

“Who are you calling aunt? I always tell you to call me big sister.”

“No, Mother… I mean, big sister is a bit of a stretch, isn’t it? The fact is, you’re my aunt.”

(…Huh?)

“Lieselotte.”

“Y-yes, I-I-I’m sorry, Big Sister. Such a splendidly youthful Big Sister!!”

“Yes, very good.”

(What’s with this atmosphere? My definition of “normal” is suddenly getting shaky.)

“Your skin is so glossy and supple, you don’t need to force people to call you big sister, Celia. You’re cute enough already.”

“D-Darling… that’s not proper… please say such things at night.”

Celine covered her mouth with both hands as if embarrassed.

“What a womanizer… this shameless hero…”

Lieselotte’s cold mutter stabbed painfully into his ears.

“I mean, come on, I thought I was coming to a harem, but instead I get welcomed by these burly dudes. Who would imagine that?”

“That’s completely your wishful thinking, isn’t it? The harem can’t possibly function with only women.”

“Well, yeah… I guess so.”

(It’s the truth, but can’t I dream a little!!)

His dreams of the harem and his pride that crumbled in the opening seconds were now silently returning to dust—

Just then.

“Ahem.”

Celine cleared her throat once. Like flipping a switch to change the atmosphere.

“I got a bit carried away with excitement, but once you pass through the inner gate, it will be all women.”

“Wait, really?”

(Salvation…! A voice of salvation just descended from heaven!!)

Yuuri cried internally. It had been long. Three and a half minutes of despair. Physically unharmed, mentally totaled.

(Thank goodness… my harem isn’t dead yet…!)

“Yes, really. So please rest assured, Darling.”

(Thank you, Celia!!)

God does exist…

“Besides, these five idiots… I mean, these five men are the head eunuchs who manage the harem.”

“Five idiots…”

(Did you just casually drop a bomb there!?)

“They only show up occasionally, but since they’re eunuchs, your harem won’t be defiled, Darling, so you can rest easy about that too.”

“C-Celia!!”

(That explanation of “they’re non-functional so no NTR will occur” is actually painful to hear in a different way!?)

Celine chuckled softly and raised her hand, signaling to the five men.

“Now then, each of you introduce yourselves in order. —Show our Lord Karou your ‘devoted love’ once more.”

(Wait, hold on!? “Devoted love”—that’s the dangerous kind, right!?)

(Is my chastity safe!? Wait, is this that kind of development!?)

(Am I really in the heroine position!? Someone deny it!! Even a random mob character is fine!!)