Can I brag about my very devoted wife to you?

Riko (5 years old), Minato (5 years old)

Just what is going on? Why are the childhood me and the childhood Riko in the same picture? We came from different junior high schools, and I’m sure we never met until we were in high school.

In disbelief, I looked at Riko in the photo again.

–I don’t have any friends…

–Why not? I’m your friend.

–Eh…? Will you be my friend?

–You won’t be my friend, you’re already my friend! Because we made a potty with sand. If we play together, that means we’re friends!

“…!”

… Wait a minute. Now, for a moment, I almost remembered something…?

I felt as if traces of my memories that had been lying dormant at the bottom of my memory had been recovered, which made me feel even more agitated.

“Minato-kun? Suddenly, what’s wrong with your silence?”

“Oh, yeah, you know, I wonder if I’m…”

I was about to ask Riko, who was tilting her head, when I realized something. What did Riko say to me just now?

I was her only friend when she was in kindergarten, and her first love was…

Riko’s words and the exchange that just came back to my mind. If the two were connected, then this would mean…

“… Riko, I’m sorry! I’ve got some things to think about, so I’m going back to my room for today…!”

“Eh!?”

“I’m seriously sorry! Good night!”

“Ah, yes, good night?”

I left Riko in the living room who had a puzzled look on her face, and rushed into my room.

I closed the door and let out a heavy sigh as I leaned against it.

“… Anyway, let’s clear my mind first.”

I took a few more deep breaths and calmed myself down. It’s been a long time since I looked back at the past before junior high school. For me, it was a complete black history, a memory that I didn’t want to dig up if I could help it.

When I was in the eighth grade, I had to realize how brazen I had been with people, and I changed my attitude toward others completely after that.

I didn’t talk to anyone anymore, and I’ve also changed my bad habit of treating people as friends after a short conversation. I started to think about whether it would make the other person uncomfortable before I said a word, and as a result, I became a person of extremely few words.

On the contrary, before the change, I was a completely ignorant and insensitive guy, blabbering on to anyone with innocent stupidity.

Compared to now, I think I’m almost a different person.

In the end, I had been too insensitive and people didn’t like me doing that…

I’d like to believe that the less presence I have in my life, the less often I make others uncomfortable.

So it took a lot of energy for me to remember the past.

But this is not the time to be talking about that.

In order to jog my memory, I went through the photos that my father-in-law sent me. I looked through not only the ones taken in the sandbox earlier, but also the photos that had arrived before that.

“Haa… Riko’s so cute as a kid too…”

Her cheeks were puffy and she looked like a small animal. The muscles in my face relaxed on their own.

“No, that’s not the point!”

I hurriedly regained my consciousness, which had almost accidentally gone in another direction.

“Concentrate.”

As I opened the first photo I received, I couldn’t help but exclaim, “Ah!”

What I saw was Riko’s face crumpled up in tears. The white dress she was wearing was splattered with ketchup, so perhaps that was the reason she was crying. But that wasn’t the important part.

Riko’s crying face.

This triggered an avalanche of memories from my childhood that had been sleeping.

◇◇◇

“Hey, are you making a potty?”

“…”

“I’ll do it with you.”

“…!”

“Give me that shovel.”

“…”

“Thanks. I’m now the king, and I’m going to build this tower. Um… hey, what’s your name?”

“…”

“Don’t you have a name?”

“…”

“I can’t make you a princess if I don’t know your name. Tell me.”

“… Ri, Riko…”

“Eh? What’s with your talking?”

“…”

“That’s so cool! I like that! I wish I could talk like that!”

“Eh…”

“Yes, Riko-chan. I’ll give you my bucket. If you put sand in it and turn it upside down, it will become a little tower.”

“Uh, yeah. …Oh, um… don’t you think I’m talking funny…?”

“No, it’s so cool.”

“…Thanks… I want to know your name, too…”

“Me, Minato!”

“Minato-kun…”

“Yes!”

“Ehehe, Minato-kun… Thank you…”

“Why thank you?”

“I’m just happy about that…”

“Hmm? I don’t get it, but I’m glad you’re happy! Hey, Riko-chan. Why are you always alone?”

“It’s–”

◇◇◇

“…”

–That’s right. Riko was a girl who had transferred to the kindergarten I was attending, and she played by herself every day.

At the time, I was under the illusion that all the kids in the kindergarten were my friends, so I talked to Riko without hesitation and started playing with her without asking permission.

Why do I remember it so vividly? It’s because the moment I said, “We’re already friends,” Riko burst into tears. I never imagined that she would react that way, so I had been quite shocked as a child.

I even remembered feeling deeply relieved afterwards when I realized that she wasn’t crying because she was sad.

“But… But what happened to us after that…?”

My useless memory became fuzzy from there, and no matter how much I tried to think about it, I couldn’t get to the truth. Well, I managed to remember the part I wanted to know, so that was good for now.

“…Riko and I were friends in kindergarten, right? So that means…”

The line of possibilities that I had vaguely imagined connected.

Riko and I were friends. When I was in kindergarten, I was the only friend Riko had. And Riko’s first love was a friend from kindergarten.

The answer that emerged from this is…

“… Does that mean I’m Riko’s first love, or…?”

Just imagining it for a moment made my heart pound so hard I felt like it was going to burst.

“No no no, eh!? N-no way…”

Because it’s not like that… It’s not realistic at all, but if I really am Riko’s first love, I’ll die of happiness.

My old personality has always been like a black history for me, but was Riko happy with that me? I felt like my sense of value was going to change one hundred and eighty degrees.

I wonder if Riko knew…?

… But if she knew, wouldn’t she say to me that I was her first love? Normally, if you say it like that, you’re making them aware of it.

If Riko hadn’t noticed, how would she feel if she knew that her first love was me?

I wonder if she will be disappointed to find that their first love has grown into such a failure.

I wonder if she’ll feel closer to me than she does now because of the added nostalgia.

Translator & Editor: Riciel