Vol 4 Chapter 19 – Wrist-Cutting (【Revolver Maid】 Arc)

Wrist-cutting is one form of self-harm.

It refers to cutting the skin on one’s wrist with a blade.

When one cuts one’s arm, it is called an arm-cut.

There are many other parts that can be injured, such as the palm, the back of the hand, fingers, legs, and so on.

It is sometimes abbreviated as “risuka.”

——————————————————

I had reached my limit.

I never show it openly so as not to alert those around me, but inside, I had already hit my breaking point.

Ever since the Boss fell into a coma, I have felt no will to live.

No matter how many times I called out, no voice answered.

I hate it.

I hate itI hate itI hate itI hate itI hate itI hate itI hate itI hate itI hate itI hate itI hate itI hate itI hate itI hate itI hate itI hate itI hate itI hate itI hate itI hate itI hate itI hate itI hate itI hate itI hate itI hate itI hate it

The thought that he might never awaken…

That I would never be able to speak to him again…

I refuse to admit it.

I will not let it be admitted.

I want you to smile at me as you always did—

that smile I sensed behind your mask.

Those days that were filled with fun and taken-for-granted happiness…

They suddenly collapsed.

Why?

Even though I haven’t had the chance to convey my feelings.

I want you to see me.

I want you to see only me.

If a God exists, I would devote everything I have if it could wake the Boss.

——————————————————

That day, for the first time in my life, I wounded my body with my own hands.

I broke the promise I had made ever since the Boss saved me.

It was a forbidden act.

I traced a single line on my left wrist with a box cutter.

One line. Then another. And yet another.

Perhaps because adrenaline was surging through me, I did not naturally feel the pain.

On the contrary, I felt an inexplicable sense of relief as red liquid oozed from the cut.

Suddenly, I laughed.

Ah, it’s not as if blood would spurt out.

I wouldn’t die from excessive bleeding.

Huh, it was less than I expected.

It wasn’t that I wanted to die—I just wanted some reason to calm myself down.

In the end, I could only laugh at the absurdity of this wrist-cut self-harm.

Was that maid really satisfied with something so trivial?

…No, she probably wasn’t.

Otherwise, she wouldn’t have gone so far as to cut off her own flesh and cook it—that would be an act of utter madness.

Overwhelmed by a slight sense of panic, I performed basic first-aid.

Even doing this, there’s no way the Boss will awaken.

The night sky and rain, reflected in the window—

it was as if they could peer into my very soul.

No, I ended up sounding like some creepy poet…

Correction.

I crawled into bed and fell asleep.

I felt an odd sensation from the tightly wrapped bandages.

Ah, I wish the Boss would awaken before I die…

——————————————————

“…….”

Suddenly, an event from a few days ago flashed through my mind.

At the same time, I felt my field of vision expand.

“…….”

Huh?

I couldn’t speak.

No, I couldn’t bring myself to speak.

The reason was simple.

“…….”

Blood was gushing profusely from my right side.

Blood wouldn’t stop flowing from my mouth either.

My mouth reeked of iron,

…Ah, why have I come to look like this?

The reflection before me was a battered body, one that looked as if it might die at any moment.

“K-kobubu…”

It was no use. Even if I tried to speak, the blood filling my mouth got in the way.

I had no strength left.

Then, I realized everything.

Ah, me…

——————Am I going to die?

In such a sudden moment, I couldn’t grasp everything at once, yet I managed to analyze myself with startling calm.

Soon, I would die from massive blood loss—without even knowing the cause.

Such sudden events… they really do happen.

I don’t want this—I still don’t want to die…

If I were to die, I’d need to tell the Boss how I feel first…

No, that’s impossible.

Every part of my body has lost its strength.

As my consciousness faded, one person came to mind.

The Boss…

I wonder what the Boss is doing right now.

I wish he would suddenly awaken and come to rescue me like a prince on a white horse.

But such a fairytale… it can’t be.

Boss.

It hurts.

Help me.

I still want to be with you, Boss.

Please give me an order.

Say, “Live.”

Just as I was about to lose consciousness,

the door before me opened.

“……gah, buh.”

Could it be? Did the Boss really come to rescue me!?

Truly, truly…

Th-thank you so much…

“…….”

It was as if time had stopped.

Ah… I remembered.

I remembered it—the person who made me endure this.

——————Hateful.

hateful hateful hateful hateful hateful hateful hateful hateful hateful hateful hateful hateful hateful hateful hateful hateful

I want to kill them right now.

And not by killing instantly, but by torturing them.

How can such a person be allowed to end my life?

I am truly frustrated.

I’ll kill them.

But all my feelings were in vain; I no longer had the strength to resist.

I was simply… so sleepy.

Ah, is this it…?

Everything before my eyes turned completely white.

In moments like these, shouldn’t everything normally turn pitch black…?

“…….”

Ah, Boss.

I…

—————I love you.

The figure before me stared at me with contempt.

“Ah, so you were still alive, ‘Hirata-chan.'”

At those words, my consciousness closed once again.

——————————————————

“Ah, so you were still alive, ‘Hirata-chan.'”

The calm voice of Satsuki Tsutsuka spoke next to Kuzuryuu Kazuto.

Before their eyes, a single, gruesome scene unfolded.

“Hira…ta…”

There, spread out before them, was Hirata—drenched in bright red blood.

Blood flowed from her mouth and stomach, and several bullet wounds marked her body.

“Ah, come to think of it, I hadn’t mentioned it.”

Unable to hide his surprised expression, Kuzuryuu listened as Satsuki continued:

“——————I killed her because I hated her.”

“Killed her…?”

“Well, she’s probably still alive, but she’ll die from massive blood loss at this rate. In fact, she’s already lost consciousness.”

Satsuki lightly tapped Hirata’s head with the shoehorn positioned by the entrance.

Hirata showed no sign of resistance—she had lost both the will and the strength to fight.

“It seems she was sneaking around behind my back, investigating me. After capturing her and firing a few shots, this is what happened. Why would someone like her be serving as the Boss’s proxy?”

“That must be because it was a direct order from the Boss…”

“That makes sense! Maybe he wanted her to gain some experience? The Boss is so kind, isn’t he?”

Satsuki laughed softly and sank onto the sofa provided in the room.

“Well, let’s talk. Kuzuryuu, you wouldn’t want to end up like Hirata-chan, would you?”

In her right hand, Satsuki Tsutsuka gripped a revolver.

“……That’s right.”

Kuzuryuu Kazuto sat facing her. Satisfied with his posture, Satsuki gave a small nod.

“Well, since you seem to want to know, I’ll tell you—”

“Everything about my objective.”

The time of reckoning had begun.

——————————————————

A certain hospital room.