Bizarre Love Triangle - Chapter 5
Chapter 5 : After School, Take Me Somewhere!
“—–Sensei!”
It was after 7:00 p.m. when I was finally able to catch up with Chiyoda-sensei. She was in the staff parking lot in front of her car, a little after the complete school dismissal time.
When I asked her in the staff room, she said she was heading out of the office for a meeting or something but it seems like it had finally ended.
“Umm, about Minase-san….”
When I ran up to her, she looked at me and narrowed her eyes.
“I didn’t hear about any of it at all! I don’t even know what’s going on, but why did she suddenly transfer schools…!”
If it was the usual me, I would never have done this, absolutely not.
At best, I would have just acted idly and tried to gather some information casually.
But….. I could no longer play the role of a good listener and plain student.
I want to get some information about the reality that I was suddenly confronted with.
After a brief worried look flashed through her face, she said,
“I see… perhaps Yano-kun may need an explanation. Which way’s your home?”
“Well, it’s on the opposite side of the station, the Zenfuku temple side…”
“I see. Then, let’s talk about it as I drop you home.”
Saying that, she opened the lock of car and said,
“Are you coming?”
✳✳
“Actually, I think it would be better if you ask the person herself directly.”
Chiyoda-sensei began to talk as she drove the car towards my house.
“Somehow, the situation doesn’t permit me for that”
“…Did you know about it?”
Outside the window.
I was looking at the familiar cityscape near the school when I unconsciously turned towards her.
“Yes. I’ve been asked by her doctor to let him know about how she’s doing in school.”
“Is that so…”
I’m amazed that this doctor was so involved in the girl’s double personality even till now.
But, I can guess why.
In the first place, it’s no wonder that there was communication with the hospital side when they allowed her to go to school under a name other than her family register.
“Initially, the purpose was rehabilitation.”
Chiyoda-sensei said as she turned the steering wheel and headed out onto the main street.
“You have heard it directly from her, haven’t you? The problem in her home has been settled. Then, if her personality gets combined together, the treatment will basically be complete. However, in the process, she should get used to society as much as possible. It is also preferable if she can be accepted by the world, alongside her dual personality… at the end, it’s preferable if her personality gets combined. With that in mind, it was decided to transfer her to a regular class in a normal school.”
“I see….”
I hadn’t been informed of any such thing at all. I wasn’t aware that the girls had come to this school with such clear intentions.
“But then… she… Haruka tried to hide her personality.”
“Yes, despite the objections of others. All of them, Akiha-chan, her doctor and her family said and hoped that Haruka-chan could live her life as Haruka-chan but she pushed all that aside and did that instead.”
“So that’s what happened…”
And to their surprise, even among the students, there was someone who decided to cooperate with Haruka.
I began to feel a headache from my lack of thinking.
Why didn’t I notice the discomfort of what Haruka was doing earlier…?
“……I don’t think what Yano-kun did was wrong.”
Chiyoda-sensei comforted me with kind words as I was holding my head in my hands.
“I think you did your best because you were thinking about Haruka-chan… I’m sure that won’t have a negative impact on you in the end.”
“That’s not true.”
Just answering that brings back the bitter memories.
Self loathing toward myself who has made a terrible mistake.
“I was just stirring things up with them…”
And then suddenly, I had a question.
“Wait, how did Sensei know that I was helping her?”
Thinking about it, I’m pretty sure I’ve never told anyone about it before.
I also felt that Chiyoda-sensei never showed anything in her behavior that made it seem like she knew. And yet, how did Chiyoda-sensei know about this?
Then, she replied with a somewhat lonely smile,
“I’ve been in close contact with her family and the hospital…”
“I-I see. Then maybe that day, in the beginning, when I had taken Haruka to the clubroom… or the day when you opened the club room and came in…”
“Yes. I wanted to understand as much as I could about what Haruka was doing.”
“…So that was it.”
My back felt a chill knowing that the adults, including Chiyoda-sensei, knew about it all along.
“…So, that’s the present situation of those girls.”
While speaking, Chiyoda-sensei stepped on the brakes and stopped at a red light.
Old people, young people with unknown occupations and housewives with children passed by ahead of us.
“This was unexpected even for the doctors. They didn’t expect that the balance between the two existences would suddenly collapse. But now that it’s happened, they can’t just leave her there. They have decided to take her back to the hospital now and treat her so that Haruka-chan will not disappear.”
“I see… So, if the treatment goes well, there is a possibility that she will come back here as soon as it is over.”
“There’s not much of a chance for that, unfortunately. It would not be a very flat rehabilitation to go back to the environment that you have already left once.”
“I see…”
“…Yano-kun doesn’t need to feel responsible for it.”
When I looked up, Chiyoda-sensei wrinkled her brow and gripped the steering wheel tightly.
“It really is an unforeseen situation. If someone was to be blamed here, then it’s us, the adults fault. They should have come to the school when they were more stable. Or we should have intervened more before this situation even happened. It’s completely a matter of poor judgment on behalf of the hospital and us.”
Sensei bites her lip in frustration.
The car started moving again, and Sensei swerved wide at the intersection of the main street.
Then,
“…It’s just”
She said it clearly while looking forward.
“I still can’t give up yet.”
“…What do you mean?”
“I don’t think the problem she is currently burdened with can be resolved by just going to the hospital.”
“…Then, what are you going to do? Or rather, is there even a way to solve her problem?”
If there was, I wanted you to try it at all costs.
I don’t care if I can’t relate to them anymore.
I don’t care if I can’t see them again.
I just wanted to save Haruka’s life.
“All that was missing was a little bit of courage and a little bit of self-kindness. I don’t have any concrete proof though.”
Once again, the car stopped just before the red light.
Chiyoda-sensei reached out and began to rummage through her handbag, which laid beside her.
And,
“If there’s anyone who can do something for those kids…”
Sensei then held out ‘something’ to me..
Her long, slitted eyes smeared with a dark hue of intent as she said this.
“I think the only person who can do that is——Yano-kun.”
✳✳
Somehow I couldn’t bring myself to go straight home, and that was my downfall.
I went to a nearby bookstore and browsed aimlessly.
I was thinking about what I could and couldn’t do, and as I was leaving the store, I saw a classmate from middle school.
A self-proclaimed sadistic character, Koshino and his friends, Shikishima and Hoshimoto.
These were the students who naturally kept me away from them back then.
Without thinking, I went back inside the store and hid behind a bookshelf.
They were oblivious to my presence, and while chatting and laughing, they passed in front of the bookstore and headed towards the station.
A sigh of relief and disappointment in myself spilled out my mouth.
I don’t want to create a character, I want to be a normal human being too.
Even though I said so with my mouth, in the end, I couldn’t change myself after all.
The loneliness and the anguish of being ostracized is still engraved in my body even now and I couldn’t take a step forward.
As I am right now, can I really do something for Akiha and Haruka?
一一一Part 5.2一一一
What can I do to help them at this stage?
“…Damn it”
I exited the store and confirmed the ‘Something’ in my bag.
This was something that was given to me by Chiyoda-sensei in the car, saying “it was left in the club room.”
It was a notebook that I hadn’t seen for quite some time.
After pondering for a while, I started up the line and started to compose a message to the account “Minase”.
This might be the last message I ever send to her.
I don’t know if she will respond but I know I have to send it.
Akiha or Haruka, any of them is fine.
Just as long as it reaches her in the end.
✳✳
The next day.
The clubroom after school was dyed in a cream-like shade due to the sunlight passing through the curtains.
The air was dusty and musty, and there were a few unfamiliar items placed here and there.
Akiha was standing at the entrance of the club room which at best looked like a hiding place, and at worst like a storage room.
“…Hello”
She had a stiff expression as she stood there while holding her bag tightly on her shoulder and looking down.
Perhaps this will be Akiha’s last visit to this room. It’s also quite possible that this might be the end of my love too.
“…Come in”
Finally, Akiha stepped into the club room and closed the door behind her.
“I’m sorry to call you here on such short notice…”
I first apologized to Akiha who sat down on a nearby seat.
“I know you probably don’t even want to talk to me anymore… but I’m glad you came. I just wanted you to have this.”
I slipped my hand into my shoe and pulled out a notebook.
(T/N : nope, no mistake here. I don’t know how can one take out notebook from their shoes)
On the cover of the notebook, which was placed on the old desk in front of Akiha, the words with a somewhat misleading impression were written.
[Exchange diary ♥️ | Yano-kun•Akiha•Haruka]
“Oh, this is…”
Akiha looked at the cover as she said.
“I’ve been wondering where this was…”
Since the day they had gone to Odaiba, we had stopped exchanging this with each other, so she had no idea where the book had gone.
I’m sure Haruka must have left it in the club room.
Chiyoda-sensei handed it to me saying, “Return it back to the girls.”
Akiha was looking at the words on the cover.
Although it was just a little, I feel like the air inside the room has softened by a bit.
The round letters of spring may have calmed her wispy feelings a little bit.
I was thinking she will soon return to her usual attitude, but…
Akiha turned the page and started to read the diary.
“This girl really relied on Yano-kun, didn’t she?”
And spilled out such lines.
“Always… it was always about Yano-kun…”
Akiha’s eye narrowed, like a parent caring for their child lovingly.
When I peeked at the diary, it was just as she said. On every page that was opened, Haruka was bemoaning her screw-up and asking me for help.
17th April (Tuesday)| Haruka.
I forgot that my English class had changed from the audio-visual room to the classroom today.
I was flustered when I was the only one who moved.
Thank you Yano-kun for noticing and telling me about it!
Also, I’m sorry for stepping on your foot with all my might.
19th April (Thursday)| Haruka
Ugh, I’m sorry, Akiha.
I spilled Cocoa on my uniform…
Although I don’t think the stain will be left on it as Yano-kun immediately wiped it but it might still smell a bit…
I think it might be better to take it to a cleaner…
20th April (Friday)| Haruka
Yano-kun, perhaps you bought those wet wipes for me?
Sorry, I will also pay for it.
—————————-I’m really thankful for Yano-kun to teach me today too.
——————–Thank you, Yano-kun.
————-Yano-kun!
——Yano-kun.
Suddenly, the words on pages was blurred.
Akiha’s hand that was holding the notebook was shivering.
“Akiha….?”
I looked at Akiha and saw she was biting her teeth strongly.
She stared at the page, unblinking, as if she was trying to hold something back.
Somehow, it looked as if something was about to break.
Akiha’s expression looks like everything will fall apart if I just poke at her a little.
However, Akiha took a deep breath and said,
“…That’s enough”
She said that in a whisper and raised her face.
“Anyway, it’s the end… I will stop hiding things and lying about everything.”
“…….Aki….ha…?”
When she turned to look at me, I gasped at the expression on her face, it was as if she had lost the thing that was possessing her.
And then she said with a smile,
“You know… I’m the worst”
“…What?”
“I always said thank you to Yano-kun, didn’t I? Saying things like ‘Thank you for being friends with Haruka’ or ‘Thank you for helping her out’.”
“Yeah…”
“That was all a lie.”
My heart skipped a beat at the simple words she said.
“I wasn’t happy. I wasn’t happy at all. Not only that. Everything about Yano-kun exchanging diaries with Haruka, going out to Odaiba with Haruka, everything, everything was so painful. My heart felt like it was going to collapse and I was always on the verge of crying.”
My heart skipped a beat at every word she said as a matter of fact.
I was unable to grasp the meaning of her words and soon my head started to get hot.
And then she said to me with the preface “Because”, narrowing her eyes as if she was telling me an old story.
“The truth is———I wanted you to help me.”
I was so shocked that I couldn’t move my body.
“I always wanted you to save me and not Haruka.”
I felt so thirsty and choked at her words that I couldn’t move an inch.
“When Haruka made a blunder on the first day, when she made a lot of mistakes in class, when you came to my house, when we went out together with everyone, it was always the same.
I wanted to talk to you a lot about her, and I wanted you to listen to me.”
For the first time, Akiha’s true feelings were revealed.
The true feelings of Akiha that I couldn’t even notice which gradually overwrote our significant memories.
“Did you know, the first day I met Yano-kun, I thought I might have finally found a friend?
Maybe, we might be similar in some way. We’re both hiding our true feelings, and we can’t really say what we’re thinking.
So I was happy, and I thought that maybe we could get along together. We might even become friends.
Not only that, I was thinking maybe we could have a much better relationship than others.”
“…So that was it.”
The first time I met with Akiha was before the first day of school. (T/N: First day of school here is referred to the day before any actual classes start. As such, there’s an opening ceremony day and on this day, there are no classes held except for self introduction and some schedule handouts. So the actual first day is when the classes start which is the next day.)
At the time when I fell in love with her——.
Did Akiha also think of me that way?
“That’s why I have always been jealous. Jealous of Haruka who can consult with Yano-kun so easily.
Haruka who can think together with you about a lot of different things, being able to perceive, or rebuke her at her blunders.
Just like her, I also wanted to be praised when I did well or get comforted when I made a blunder.
I wanted to make mistakes with Yano-kun, to get lost, to be troubled, and all those things.”
“…..T-Then!”
When I noticed, I found myself wondering.
If that’s what Akiha was thinking…
If Akiha was holding all of these things alone——
“Why didn’t you talk with me! I told you, right!? That you can talk to me anytime!”
“I can’t tell you…”
“Why?”
I didn’t understand.
Why is she vehemently denying her right to rely on others? Why does she keep trying to keep everything to herself?
“Am I really so untrustworthy to you!? Did I look so unreliable to you that you couldn’t rely on me!?”
“No, you don’t.”
“Then, why!”
At my question, Akiha looked up and stared at me,
“There’s no way I could say that to you!”
——-The sharpness of her voice, the anger in her eyes.
I wasn’t able to say anything to that.
“There’s no way I could have said that!
Because… it’s all my fault that Haruka is suffering!
It’s because I was weak and unable to protect myself that that girl was born!
If I had been stronger, she wouldn’t have gone through this! If I had been strong, she wouldn’t have needed to disappear!”
The pain that ran in my chest wasn’t a “shock.”
It was the inexplicable guilt that she was carrying around in her heart.
What Akiha couldn’t forgive was not anyone else… but herself.
“However… isn’t it too selfish that you are the only one who’s having fun! You should be able to handle all your problems on your own! Besides, I’m…”
“I’m not the kind of person who needs Yano-kun help!”
“…W-why?”
When I asked her that, she choked on the question.
一一一Part 3一一一
And then I looked at her cloudy eyes,
“Yano-kun became friends with Haruka. Then I thought.
If… what if… she wasn’t here.
If Haruka wasn’t here… it might have been me who was there instead.”
Her voice was slightly shivering, just like a frail glass that would get destroyed with just little effort.
“If she wasn’t inside me… perhaps, I could have been the one who would have been next to Yano-kun.
Perhaps I could have been the one to invite Yano-kun to my house.
Perhaps I could have been the one to ride the Ferris Wheel together with Yano-kun.”
My heart kept thumping harder, sending hot blood that was surging through my body.
My breathing quickened and my palm began to sweat.
Then Akiha asked,
“Am I not the worst?”
She narrowed her eyes coldly and laughed scornfully at herself.
“You are disillusioned right? I am unforgivable, am I not? I am the one who’s going to erase Yano-kun’s beloved Haruka.”
Then she said once again in an shivering-esque voice,
“Haruka’s going to disappear because of my selfishness. It’s all because of me.”
Silence fell in the dusty air of the club room.
All that could be heard were the shouts of the members of the sports club practicing in the schoolyard in the distance.
“So there’s no way I’m qualified to ask Yano-kun for help.”
—–Finally, I feel like all the links were connected.
Akiha who had been tense until now. Her relationship with Haruka and her intentions.
The thing I have overlooked until now.
All the things that were really important that I hadn’t realized——.
And then I—–,
“…Even so”
I opened my mouth again and looked straight at Akiha,
“It still doesn’t matter to me.”
Akiha’s eyes widened at my words.
“Even so… I want to help Akiha”
“…Why?”
Akiha tilted her head, not understanding what was going on.
“Haruka is a special person for Yano-kun, isn’t she? There’s no way you can forgive me… right?”
“Indeed, Haruka is a special person to me.”
Akiha’s expression twisted in pain when I admitted this.
“But——Akiha is also important to me. You’re an irreplaceable existence to me”
“…D-Did you really think of me in that way?”
I feel like slight anger can be seen on the face of Akiha who asked me that.
“Can you repeat that in front of Haruka?”
“I can.”
“Why!?”
“Because I——“
Yes, of course I can.
I didn’t realize it for a long time, but it was me who was making you cry.
I have been hurting you because I have been hiding my feelings.
If that’s the case, there’s only one thing to say.
“It’s because I like you.”
“……………What?”
Akiha looked at me with a flabbergasted face.
That’s why I said it once again,
“I like Akiha.”
I conveyed it clearly.
“That’s why I still want to help you.”
Hot sweat poured out of my body.
My heart was beating so strongly that I could feel it thumping all over my body.
However, I don’t have any regrets.
Right now, Akiha is suffering in front of my eyes.
I don’t want to regret anything, and that’s why I laid out my feelings.
“T-that… by like you mean…”
“I like you as the opposite sex. From the very beginning. Ever since I met you”
Akiha’s flabbergasted face was dyed bright red in the twinkling of an eye.
Her eyes fidgeted restlessly and the tears pooled up in her eyes began to sway about.
She opened her trembling lips awkwardly and,
“…I-It’s a lie, right?”
She asked me with a trembling voice.
“Because… I can’t believe that Yano-kun likes me like this…”
“Indeed, the Akiha right now may be quite different from the impression you gave me in the beginning.”
No matter what, I couldn’t deny that.
I think I had misjudged the girl, Minase Akiha, for a really long time.
“But when I saw her reciting Still Life, I thought, I wanted her to be there for me. I wanted her to feel the same way as me. That feeling——-hasn’t changed even now.”
I put my hand on my chest and checked my feelings again.
My heart is beating in my whole body just like that day.
I am in love with Akiha.
“B-but… then what about Haruka…”
“Why are you talking about Haruka now?”
“Because Yano-kun is… you guys are…”
After stammering for words, Akiha distorted her face as if she were spitting out solid food.
“…Aren’t you guys dating?”
I was speechless.
After a short pause, the whiteout of confusion faded from my mind, and I finally understood
Was Akiha misunderstanding everything? Was she under the impression that I and Haruka were boyfriend and girlfriend?
Did she drive herself to the corner under the impression that we were a couple?
“…Ah, we aren’t dating”
With a deep sigh, I replied.
“…Really? I thought you were…”
“It’s true. I don’t think she sees me in that way either.”
“I-Is that so…? But you both were getting along and Haruka was even relying on Yano-kun so much.”
“….That’s right. So yes… we are best friends.”
“…Best friends?”
“Yeah. We are fellow comrades who share the same desire to become one single person”
The first time I talked to Haruka in the classroom.
I think I became best friends with Haruka that day itself.
The sense of camaraderie I had at that time may have been wrong.
But that doesn’t mean that the friendship I still have in my heart will just suddenly disappear.
“So I felt like we were friends of the same sex… I mean, to be honest, I consulted her about Akiha too…”
“Was that so…”
As if she were finally convinced, Akiha dropped her gaze to the floor.
“Yano-kun, Haruka is a close friend for you…”
Then, after mumbling something to herself, she said,
“——-But, then…”
There, she suddenly raised her face vigorously,
“I was about to erase that girl, Haruka… by mistake?”
Her dainty hands began to shiver. Her originally white face turned pale.
“B-because of my selfishness and jealousy, that girl had to go through so much pain…?”
That’s right. The problem hasn’t been resolved yet.
Now, maybe Akiha will no longer feel the need to deny Haruka.
Perhaps, Haruka might not be disappearing anytime soon.
But Haruka must have realised this. That Akiha is denying her existence.
Now, more than ever, she feels that she is unnecessary.
“What… should I do? I have done something horrible to her…”
Akiha’s expression looked as if she was seeing the end of the world.
I prepared my resolution in front of her.
“…Hey, Akiha”
When I called her name, I said only a few words.
I said these same words to Haruka just a month ago.
“Won’t you… let me help you?”
A large tear spilled from Akiha’s eye.
“I’m so sorry. I should have told you earlier. But I want to help you from here on. I want to be your support.”
That’s why, with this preface.
I looked straight into Akiha’s eyes, which were like swirling galaxies among the night stars.
“Rely on me.”
“…can I?”
She asked with a frightened look on her face, her lips trembling.
“Is it all right for me to… rely on Yano-kun? Is it okay? Can I, who’s so selfish and wilful, rely on you after all that’s happened?”
“That’s, of course.”
I nodded sincerely.
“It’s because I like you.”
“…Thank you”
Akiha squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath.
And,
“Then, please.”
She quietly opens her eyes and looks back at me.
“Please help me, Yano-kun. Please help me convince Haruka that it’s ok for her to live her life normally.”
“….I understand”
I feel like Akiha’s word filled my whole body with much needed strength.
She needs me. The girl I love needs my help.
Then I wanted to give her everything I could——-and help her.
I wanted to make Akiha happy, even if it meant hurting her, even if it meant losing something.
I looked at the clock in the clubroom.
The time limit is approaching really quickly.
If I want to persuade her, today is the only day I can do it.
Then, what can I do in this limited time? What words could I say to Haruka to make her stay?
I who hasn’t even changed one bit since junior high school,
“…That’s right”
I finally realised.
In the first place, I didn’t have the qualifications to tell Haruka to ‘live as she wanted’ in the first place.
There is not a single thing I can say to her now.
Then I know exactly what I have to do.
“How much longer until you return to Haruka?”
“…About ten minutes, I think”
I nodded to Akiha, who looked up at me, and got up from my chair.
“Let’s go.”
一一一Part 5.4一一一
“…There they are!”
—–It wasn’t until a few minutes later that I found Sudo, Shuji, and a couple other friends hanging out together..
They were near the main gate, just after leaving the shoe box in the entrance.
I was completely out of breath from all the searching in the corridor, classroom and the entrance.
When I turned around to look, Akiha’s hair was also in disorder due to the air and her shoulders were heaving up and down.
“All right! Let’s chase after them!”
The distance between us and Sudo and the others was about ten meters.
I tried to run towards them to stop them.
But Akiha suddenly stopped in her tracks.
When I looked at her, she was looking at me with a confused face amidst the wind of may.
——-Haruka.
Akiha has been replaced by Haruka at this time.
Still, we couldn’t stop here.
“…Hey Haruka”
I called out to her.
“………”
She didn’t reply.
She was looking at me with a face as if she didn’t know what to think of currently.
“It’s all right for Haruka to live as Haruka from now on. We will do our best so that we don’t have to lie to anyone anymore.”
Haruka frowned but I continued my words.
“I am sure it’s much smaller than the step Haruka has to take. It’s definitely a trivial thing for Haruka. Still, if you like, I hope you can watch it.”
After saying that, I left Haruka standing there and headed towards the direction of Sudo and the others.
“…Oh? Isn’t it Yano?”
Did you notice the footsteps?
When Shuji turned around to look, his eyes opened wide in surprise.
“What’s wrong? Why are you breathing hard…..”
“…Or rather, even Minase-san is here?”
“Oh, maybe you’re making your final memories together?”
The two members of the group were in particularly high spirits. Tomigaya and Sakurai asked me that.
In front of them, my heart began to accelerate like a progressive rock.
My breathing becomes shallow and my back begins to sweat unpleasantly.
Normally, I would have said,
[That’s right, we got a little carried away… Marika!!”] [TLN: Marika is like a high spirited greeting]
And made a joke like that in return.
But I swallowed it down and said,
“…No, there was something I wanted to talk about with you guys.”
“What happened?”
Shuji looks at me anxiously.
To them who were somewhat flabbergasted,
“…I am thinking of quitting it”
That was the first thing I said.
“…Huh, quit what?”
“Forcing myself to fit in with everyone, creating a character, all of that.”
“Wait, what? What do you mean?”
“I’ve been acting all along. I was pretending to be something I’m not to suit everyone… I’ve been playing a cheerful, good-natured character.”
At those words,
The atmosphere of the place, which was cheerful until now, clearly changed.
What had been a peaceful after-school moment turned into a tense confession session.
The faces of the five members in the room lost their composure.
“So, I…”
And then, when I tried to open my mouth once again to continue the story, I found myself unable to speak any further.
…What’s wrong with me? Is it because I’m out of breath?
Or that I haven’t thought of another word to say….?
—–No, it’s wrong.
I’m——-scared.
This atmosphere.
The day in junior high school when I denied that S character.
The atmosphere is the same as the classroom at that time.
I considered smiling and covering it up right now.
I want to pretend that all of this had never happened.
But I can’t back out anymore.
“That… so… I’m sorry! I lied to you!”
I forced myself to open my mouth and was surprised at how loud my voice was.
However, I still expressed myself in front of my friends just like that.
“I don’t like going out after school making a clamour, I continued telling dirty jokes forcefully, in the first place, I’m not a person who’s too cheerful… More than that”
I put my hands into the bag that was on my shoulders.
“…I like this kind of thing! Literature and Arts!”
I put up the paperback book I was reading the day I first met Akiha, Still Life.
“In other words——“
Saying this, I took a big breath and said,
“I was making a character! To get along with everyone, to enter into the group, I was forcing myself to do all that. But honestly, I hate all of that—-that’s why, I’m going to stop making characters from now on! I’m sorry to everyone but I’m going to be myself!”
Then, looking at the faces of everyone in the room again.
“So—–I hope you can accept me as I am!”
Silence swoops down in place after I finish saying everything.
In the gloomy silence, no one was able to move.
A dusty breeze danced past us.
“I see…”
Tomigaya was the first to speak up, crawling out of the silence.
“Well, aren’t things like that all right?”
“Beats me…”
Sakurai followed Tomigaya, saying this in a light tone.
And then both of them said,
“Well, I’m going home first. I have a part-time job.”
“Ah, I also need to go. See you later!”
After saying that, they quickly left the main gate.
“Oh… see you later”
I could feel my mouth rapidly drying up as I replied to their backs.
———Well, aren’t things like that all right?
On the surface, it sounded like they were accepting me. But in reality, there were no emotions in the line.
——-I am sure I wouldn’t be able to continue my relationship until now with them anymore.
The two of them taught me how to react at a good pace and how to position myself in a conversation.
I remembered it because of our friendship.
But still – we couldn’t be like that anymore.
I felt my fingertips grow cold as I realized this fact clearly.
Each beat of my heart grew heavier with anxiety.
After all, no one would accept me.
As long as I don’t make a character, as long as I don’t pretend to be something, I will not be needed anymore.
However,
“Tell me~~~!”
An unexpected cheerful voice suddenly rings out from next to me.
When I turned my gaze to that, Sudo was looking at me as if she was deflated.
“Ehm, seriously!? So Yano-kun was always making a character? I didn’t notice it at all! You should have told me.”
Her eyebrows were raised as if she was in trouble. She closed her eyes sulkily and pouted.
At her behavior and action which was just like as usual,
“Ah, N-No…”
I couldn’t find the words to reply right away.
“Somehow… I’m sorry”
“It’s all right.”
Then she crossed her arms violently and said,
“But then, I’ve been making a lot of crazy requests to Yano! Now I sound like a horrible person… You should have said so earlier!”
“….I was indeed feeling something like that”
Saying that, Shuji laughs bitterly.
“I thought Maybe Yano was exaggerating a little. But even I hadn’t thought that far ahead…”
Indeed, Compared to other members, I feel like Shuji never asked me to act like a cheerful character.
I thought he might be that kind of guy, but really, did he actually have a hunch about it?
“But still so, you’re overreacting too much… Also that novel, it’s quite a literary novel, isn’t it? It’s too different from your usual character…”
“…I’m really sorry”
“No, it’s okay though——“
The reaction was the same as before.
Sudo and Shuji are the same as always.
After a short pause, I understood what it meant.
That’s right.
Honestly, I knew it all along.
I knew that these two people would accept me like this.
Even if I don’t pretend, they would be friends with me,
“…Thank you”
These words spilled out naturally.
“I’m really glad that I am friends with you”
“What are you saying all of a sudden? It’s kind of embarrassing!”
“Indeed, it’s really embarrassing when you said it again”
While being thankful for the two who were squirming in embarrassment, I turned to look at Haruka.
She has been watching my affair from there since a while ago, with the expression of Akiha.
Apparently she still can’t seem to take the step forward.
That’s why I was holding a notebook in my hand.
I opened the page of our exchange diary and held it up to Haruka.
That page was filled with scribbles in Akiha’s writing.
———You are indispensable to me.
As she laughed somewhat dazed at the page, I could see a slight amount of determination filled within her face.
Looking down and with a slow gait, she took a step forward.
“Hmm, what’s wrong Akiha?”
“Did something happen?”
Then she stand up in front of them who had a dubious express and raised her face,
“…What?”
“Minase…San?”
Her eyebrows knitted in anxiety.
Her timid eyes that look as if they were going to cry anytime.
Her hands were tightly holding the bag and her feet were trembling.
This was the first time Haruka had shown Sudo and Shuji her own face.
Sudo and Shuji were surprised to see an expression that looked nothing like Akiha.
And to them, Haruka opened her mouth hesitantly.
She said her name for the first time——–
“N-Nice to meet you. I’m Minase…..Haruka.”