Bizarre Love Triangle - Chapter 4.3

“Seriously… So, that was happening from the very beginning… that’s….”

The ending was simple and cruel.

Their unknown future I didn’t know about.

The words that she spoke seemed to penetrate Akiha herself.

“…..I have heard it over and over but…”

She continued, with her voice trembling awfully.

“I have confirmed it with the family doctor multiple times but there’s nothing that can be done about it… In the first place, it was already strange for the main personality to divide into two… it will end someday, cause once the cause is gone, there was no reason for it to continue… that’s what I was told…”

“Is that so…”

“And so I was thinking, I want Haruka to… live her own life.”

Akiha put more power on her hand holding the hem of her skirt.

“Even if her time is short, I want her to live happily, have fun…make friends, fall in love…. and yet that girl is hiding from them! Pretending to be me! Because in the first place, I shouldn’t be here… No matter how many times I try to convince her, no matter how many times I fight with her, she always, always…”

The fact that was revealed to me for the first time cleared up the doubts that had been smoldering in my mind.

Haruka, pretending to be Akiha, and Akiha, who seemed to be reluctant sometimes… The unbelievable story behind them.

Perhaps the fight they had the day before in Odaiba may have been caused by this disagreement.

*

[T/N : In this section it’s Haruka and not Akiha, even I was a bit confused as there wasn’t any line about them switching.From here till end every * will denote the change of personality]

“….Then what was that about wanting to become ”Herself?”

I suddenly realized the question, and my voice became loud.

“You said that, right? You said that the closer you get to Akiha, the more your personality becomes one. That’s why you wanted to imitate her. What was that all about!”

That’s right. That’s what Haruka had said when I talked with her for the first time.

Haruka was pretending to become Akiha because she wanted to become “Herself”, and hiding her existence.

That’s why I felt a sense of camaraderie​ from her…

If Haruka was going to disappear one day, then what was all that we had talked about….

“Sorry… That was a lie.”

Haruka plopped her head down and replied in a small voice.

“It was the truth that I wanted to become “Myself.” But… it was a lie when I said that if I were able to get closer to her, our personalities would become one. I’m sorry, but if I told you the truth, you would have been surprised and perhaps you would have even been taken back from us and take some distance away from me….”

Saying so, Haruka raised her head and looked at me.

“I’m sorry for deceiving you…. and I’m really sorry for making you help me for so long…”

*

[T/N : Returning to Akiha]

“But wasn’t there still some time for you to reach 0 minutes….”

I wanted a place to hang out, even if it were only for a little while.

I screamed in a disgraceful way.

“Until Odaiba, there was still 109 minutes left, so there was still some time left, right? There’s no way she should be disappearing so soon, right!?”

“…That’s right. In truth, that’s how it was supposed to be…”

Then Akiha bit her lip so hard that it looked like it was going to tear from the pressure.

“Even the doctor said that it would last several months…. around six months…”

“Then why!? Why is Haruka going to disappear so soon!?”

“It’s getting shorter, isn’t it? The time… she’s been staying outside.”

“Yes…”

“That’s…”

Akiha’s voice trembled more than ever as she said this.

“…Among us… It’s because the feeling inside of us… has become too strong…”

“What feelings?”

That question made Akiha look down a little.

Then, without looking at me, she said,

“The feeling of… denying Haruka”

——-I felt the shock of a blow affect my entire body.

——-Denying Haruka.

——-That is the one feeling that became too strong in both of them.

That’s… in other words.

Haruka to herself and Akiha to haruka—–

“So far… I had been saying that. You are indispensable. I want you to be happy. No matter how much, no matter to what extent that girl denies herself, I have been denying her claim every time….”

“Yeah..”

“But… but. That’s not the case right now. So, at the rate we’re going, we’ve only got a few more  days… almost no time.”

“…..Akiha is”

I felt my voice echoing from afar.

I felt as if I was wandering in a nightmare, with no sense of reality, and no real feelings.

“You really cared about Haruka, didn’t you? You wanted her to stay by your side forever, didn’t you?”

“…Yes”

“Then.”

And then I ask Akiha, clearly feeling like I was sticking a knife into her heart and gouging out her emotions deeply.

“So, why are you denying… Haruka now?”

I couldn’t understand it at all.

This girl who had been talking about Haruka with such a compassionate face .

This girl, that was trying to protect Haruka even by lying to her at times.

Why would she deny the existence of Haruka all of a sudden?

To that she said,

“I can’t tell you…”

I shuddered from seeing the reaction Akiha had shown me.

“I can’t tell you! I definitely can’t tell you about it!”

She suddenly bursts into tears and hugs herself tightly with both her arms.

I wasn’t sure whether it’s fear or impatience that’s distorting her face.

*

“….Is it really something that can’t be helped?”

I hugged my head on the bench.

The only thing that spills out of my mouth is a dribble of emotions slowly coming out from within.

“Why does Haruka have to go through something like that…?”

“I knew about it all along.”

Haruka smiles at me in a caring way —- like she’s considering my feelings at a time like this.

“Since the day I was born, I knew all along that I would disappear one day. I was born to protect Akiha and that role has been fulfilled now. So this can’t be helped anymore….”

“….Saying that it can’t be helped.”

“…Ah! But I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. Akiha was really really considering me as someone important. Ever since the beginning, she has always been worried about me. She’s been persistent in talking to many doctors, reading books and even doing some research. When she found out that she had a double personality, she even threw away her previous name. For her to do her best, I am really grateful.”

“Wa-wait a minute. Name?”

It was the first time I had heard this story, and I couldn’t help but ask back.

“Threw it away…. what do you mean by that?”

“Oh, well, she said that since she and I are different people, it’s strange to call us by the same given name. So she suggested that we should call ourselves Akiha and Haruka.”

“…Huh, then that’s…..”

I couldn’t keep up with her reasoning so I immediately asked back.

“So the name Minase Akiha, wasn’t the real name in your family registry?”

“Yeah, that’s right. Initially I opposed it. After all, she was the main personality in the end…. I was just born inside her body. So we should just use the same name as before. But she was very much against it…”

“Then… What’s your real name?”

I felt as if the Haruka in front of me was someone different than I had ever seen before.

She had been through circumstances that I couldn’t even imagine.

A girl who knew she was going to disappear and still living life courageously.

I didn’t even know her real name.

So, I wanted to know her real name at least to grasp her existence.

And yet,

“I’m sorry. I can’t tell you that”

Haruka bit her lip in a truly apologetic manner.

“That’s what she decided…. She decided not to use her former name while we were together. I’m sorry, I don’t really want to hide anything from you but….”

My shoulders slumped at the feeling of being left alone.

In the end, I’m not a family member or anything to them, I’m just [one of the friends].

“Just in case, we have told the school everything. including my dual personality and our names. Well, the only people who know about it are the principal, vice principal, school nurse and the teacher in charge of all classes…and Chiyoda-ensei only. In particular, Chiyoda-sensei often follows me in places that I can’t even see…”

When I heard that, I understood why Chiyoda-sensei was so quick to respond to her today.

It’s because she knows all of that… was it possible to follow-up so precisely?

“I’m sorry for dragging you into this dark story because of my circumstances…”

“I-I don’t care about that. More than that! More than that….”

———–but, is Haruka not feeling sad too?

I was about to ask her that, but I hurriedly shut my mouth.

Haruka’s expression was like she had accepted everything that was happening to her. The smile on her face was so compassionate. But – how could she not be sad at this?

How could this timid girl not suffer when she was being confronted with the fact that she was going to disappear anytime soon?