#39: Unreliable Childhood Friends and Seniors

During lunch, I consulted with Megucchi and Sakura in hushed tones about what happened with Fujiko this morning.

“That’s easy, though. Just tell her you have a date with me today—no go! Problem solved.”

“Why does it have to be Megucchi? I don’t mind either. We still haven’t gone to karaoke, so let’s go today?”

Even though I’m consulting with them quietly, these two are speaking at full volume and ruining everything.

“Keep your voices down! Look—she’s starting to stare over here!”

I protested to them in hushed tones as before.

“Sakura, that’s not fair, is it? Megucchi already said she’s dating Norio today! And Sakura, today’s your study day! Exam students shouldn’t be going to karaoke!”

“Hold up, Megucchi! Who decided exam students can’t go to karaoke? Besides, Megucchi sits next to Norio and is in the same class, so you’re always together anyway. In situations like this, you should give your turn to me!”

Ignoring my desperate protests, the two of them launched into a pointless argument, spitting words at each other.

Fujiko kept glancing over at us. In front of me, Megucchi and Sakura were shouting at each other while practically spitting across the lunch table.

Spit was even landing on my bento box. I had to quiet them down somehow. And in situations like this, taking either one’s side is strictly forbidden, so…

“Forget it, I’m heading to club. You two just go to karaoke together. I’ll be at the literature club, reading lonely books by myself. Ugh, just Fujiko and me alone, huh? I wonder what she’ll say to me… scary. I really wanted to take the day off, but you two started fighting so I can’t…”

I pouted a little, glancing over.

“Which is why Megucchi comes first! Sakura, your date is tomorrow, so you have to go straight home today!”

“Why do I have to be told by Megucchi to go home? Whether I go home or go on a date with Norio is my business!”

They weren’t listening at all.

I sighed deeply.

When I did, my eyes met Fujiko’s, who’d been watching us from a distance. The moment our eyes met, she hurriedly looked away.

Something feels awkward about this.

The atmosphere’s getting heavy, but… I guess this is actually perfect for maintaining distance.

In the end, I decided to show up at the literature club after school.

By the way, Megucchi and Sakura apparently went to the shopping mall together. Apparently Sakura, who’d always been a model student, recently got interested in makeup, and Megucchi’s been teaching her all about it while they shop. All that stuff about dating and karaoke they were arguing about earlier—what was that even about? Honestly, what a mess.

After school, as I was grabbing my bag to head to the literature club classroom, Fujiko called out to me.

“Norio-kun! Are you… heading home?”

“No, I’m heading to the literature club.”

“R-really!? Then let’s go together!”

Fujiko quickly started gathering her things in a flurry.

“I can wait, so there’s no need to rush.”

“It’s okay. I’m done already. Let’s go.”

As we walked down the hallway, she told me about the other club members. Apparently Suzu went to the city library with the Konda twins to gather research materials for the novel she’s writing.

“So it’s just the two of us today.”

“I see. Do you write novels too, Fujiko?”

“No, I don’t write. Though I do investigate various things.”

Like Romantic Comedy Syndrome? I almost asked, but I held back.

When we arrived at the literature club classroom, I set down my bag and took my usual seat.

There wasn’t much to do, so I decided to wait quietly.

Fujiko set down her bag too, then sat in the chair directly to my right. It was a different seat from usual.

Normally Fujiko sat across from me.

“Norio-kun.”

“Yes?”

When she called my name, I turned toward her. Then, while still sitting, she hugged me.

#40: The Club President’s Turning Point

From Fujiko, who was hugging me, came a floral scent—conditioner, maybe.

Her long hair brushed against my face, and I felt a slight discomfort.

“Fujiko, what’s wrong?”

“Lately, Norio-kun, you’ve seemed so cold all of a sudden, and it’s been making me anxious…”

My protagonist sixth sense triggered an emergency alarm.

If I only listened to Fujiko’s words, it sounded like a lover confessing lonely insecurity. But Fujiko and I aren’t lovers. And Fujiko has never shown any romantic affection toward me before—there was always a wall between us.

And now that same Fujiko was hugging me and acting like a lover… huh, looks like I’m being underestimated.

Did she really think I’d let my guard down that easily?

I’m already a harem protagonist who’s seduced three heroines.

Time to change tactics. I wanted to handle this gracefully, but if she’s going to play like that, I’m playing for real. Let me show her my true protagonist power.

“So what exactly is cold about me?”

I answered with confidence while blowing a soft breath against Fujiko’s ear.

Her body trembled.

“Well, it’s just… this morning and all…”

“Hugging a guy who isn’t even your lover—Fujiko, you’re more forward than I thought.”

I cut off her words with a whisper, then licked her ear.

“Hngh!?”

She tried to pull away, but I wrapped both arms around her back and held firm.

As she thrashed around trying to escape, I found myself enjoying it a little—I kept licking her ear over and over, leaving it slick with saliva.

“S-stop! No! If this keeps going, I—let me go!”

She hit my face and stomach hard as she struggled, and it hurt, so I finally let her go.

Hair disheveled, skirt askew, she collapsed on the floor gasping for breath.

“Ha… ha… ha… quite the beast, aren’t you… ha… ha…”

That’s Kyouko’s training at work.

To face off against Fujiko, I spread both my arms across the backs of chairs on either side, crossed my legs, and sat back with an arrogant attitude.

“If I’m a beast, what does that make you, Fujiko? You’re no heroine. None of the other literature club members are either. What’s your purpose? What are you all trying to do—mock me?”

“T-that’s not it!”

“Oh right, Romantic Comedy Syndrome, wasn’t it? I don’t care about fantasies like that. What I’m saying is, I don’t like being made fun of by you.”

“!?”

After hearing my words, Fujiko’s face went through a range of expressions—shock, then her complexion turned pale.

Here I was, trying to handle this gracefully by slowly fading away, but a failed main heroine couldn’t resist poking the harem protagonist. This is what happens.

I decided to press my advantage.

“What’s your goal, Fujiko? Why are you mocking me? The other literature club girls too—even though you don’t care about me, you act all chummy. You’re treating me like a toy, laughing at me behind my back, aren’t you? Last week and today too, you all conveniently take turns being absent. You’re playing some game like ‘Who can get him most interested?’ through truth or dare, right?”

“N-no! That’s not true!”

“Then why were you absent Wednesday and Friday last week? Where were you? What were you doing? You probably had your phone on call with them in another location, listening in, didn’t you? You’re still doing it now, aren’t you? Fujiko’s phone is on a call with Suzu and the others right now, isn’t it?”

“!?”

“By your expression, I’d say I hit the mark. Don’t underestimate me, okay? I’m gentle and sweet to my heroines until they melt, but I show no mercy to anyone who interferes with my harem. Consider this a warning.”

I stood up.

I grabbed my bag and headed for the exit, opened the door. I stopped there, didn’t turn around, and delivered my final line.

“I thought Fujiko was the most fitting person to be a main heroine. Too bad.”

Perfect.

That was cool as hell.

That’s right. I’m the kind of guy who tries not to cause trouble, but when I do act, I act decisively—Norio.

The thing is, when Fujiko and I were hugging and I was licking her ear, my you-know-what had gotten excited and wouldn’t calm down. So after leaving the literature club classroom, I was walking around the school without hiding the obvious tent in my pants, when I happened to run into Kyouko. She saw me, misunderstood the situation, and almost attacked me right there in the school building—but that’s a story for another time.