#12.5: The Crazy Kouhai Who Calls Me His Heroine

Ever since I was a kid, I never fit in.

Laughing at others
Cheating
Lying
Bullying the people who used to be their friends

Unable to blend in with people like that and holding myself to strict standards, I ended up being labeled “a girl who’s too serious and boring.”

So through elementary, middle, and high school, I was always alone.

In high school, my homeroom teacher asked me to join the Disciplinary Committee.

The Disciplinary Committee suited me.

My high school was even more full of giddy students than middle school had been.

Maybe it was the sense of liberation after getting through entrance exams.

Everyone competed to be fashionable and was obsessed with romance, and if it would make them look good, they ignored school rules without a second thought, even lied to one-up others just to feed their need for approval. They were nothing but bundles of vanity.

I couldn’t forgive that.

What are they even coming to school for?

So I was strict with others, and just as strict with myself, as I went about my student life.

In the midst of that, a kouhai appeared in front of me.

In a word, he was a “problem child”
Anyway, he wouldn’t follow the rules.

Most often, he’d show up at school or walk around campus with his mask off.

In times like these, if you let that kind of selfish behavior slide, it could easily be too late once something happened.

There were plenty of students like that, and every time I spotted one, I warned them.
This kouhai, too. Every time I found him, I’d stop him and give him a stern warning.

However, this kouhai was different from the others.
If I warned him, he’d put his mask on without complaint, but then he’d always shoot back some flippant line at me.

“To fuss over me that much, you must really be into me.”

“Come on, you can be more honest, y’know? You actually just want to chat with me, right? You’re such a cute little kitten, seriously.”

“Sakura-senpai gets lonely if the protagonist—me—doesn’t dote on her, right? What a handful of a heroine, good grief.”

I’d never had anyone this crazy in my orbit before.
Or maybe not “crazy,” but overwhelmingly, unshakably positive?

Every single time, no matter how much I yelled at him, he never took it to heart. He’d twist it into whatever suited him and toss out some syrupy pickup line to throw me off balance.

Each time, I’d get irritated, and the stress piled up.

Maybe that’s why I couldn’t bring myself to overlook this kouhai. Whenever I saw his face, I couldn’t rest until I’d had a word or two with him.
I guess I was being stubborn too.

But in the end, I couldn’t reform him.
He stayed free-spirited and positive to the very end, insisting all the while that he was the protagonist.

When I became a third-year and stepped down from the Disciplinary Committee, I figured I wouldn’t have any reason to deal with him anymore.

Keeping my distance from my classmates as ever, I suddenly realized something.

Without the Disciplinary Committee giving me a reason to interact with that kouhai, I was all alone.
If anything, he was the only student I had any interaction with.

Once I started thinking that, I felt lonely for some reason.

Annoying as he always was, I found myself wanting to see his face.

That said, I had no excuse to go seek him out now that I wasn’t on the Disciplinary Committee, so in the end all I could do was spend my time alone in the classroom.

Even so, that kouhai didn’t leave me be.
When I’d half resigned myself to spending the rest of high school in loneliness, he came to me instead.

“Since Sakura-senpai didn’t come to see me today, I came to see your face.”

“I’m the protagonist, after all. It’s a protagonist’s job not to let his heroine feel lonely.”

Just one day after I stepped down from the Disciplinary Committee, he said that and came to see me.

His same old pickup lines tickled me in an odd way, and yet they felt pleasant.

And before I knew it, I was thinking it.

Maybe this kouhai really is the protagonist.
Could I, to him, be the heroine?

Honestly, when did I become such a pushover?

It must’ve been since I met this kouhai.

To turn me into a woman like this… what a dangerously charming man, Norio Mizumoto.

#13: Childhood Friend Bath Event

When I got home after my after-school date with Sakura-senpai, Megucchi was waiting in my room.

“Did you already have dinner?”

“Yeah, I ate at home.”

“Got it. I haven’t yet, so I’m going to eat here.”

After saying that, I started on the fried chicken bento Kurumi had picked up at the convenience store.
Come to think of it, lunch was fried chicken too.

“Hey, Norio. Were you with Sakura-senpai today?”

“Yeah, sure was. How’d you know? Sakura-senpai insisted she wanted an after-school date with me. Being a harem protagonist is rough, y’know?”

“Huh—…”

“Hm? What? Does that bug you? After Tsukino-san, now you’re jealous of Sakura-senpai too? Being the protagonist’s childhood friend is tough, huh. As a reward, I’ll give Megucchi one piece of my fried chicken.”

“Muu, don’t you be the one saying that, Norio. Anyway, what was Sakura-senpai like? Serious-serious?” munch munch

“Hmm, yeah. She said, ‘As my one and only boyfriend, I’m counting on you from here on.’ That’s the real deal.”

“Whoa, for Sakura-senpai to say that—that’s confirmed serious-crush. Did she really say it? Not your usual delusions, Norio?”

“Yeah, she seriously said it. If you doubt it, ask her yourself next time. Also, my stuff isn’t delusions—it’s all reality.”

Having Megucchi point it out again, I think it over.

Yeah.
I’m a dangerously charming man, Norio.

“Okay, decided! Meg’s staying here tonight!”

It’s Friday and tomorrow’s Saturday, so there’s no particular problem with Megucchi staying over.

“Yeah, that’s fine, but what brought this on?”

“I’m gonna show you Meg’s not a losing heroine!”

“Oh, is that so. Do your best. For now, I’m gonna go take a bath.”

Saying that, I went to take a bath alone, when Megucchi, equipped with a school swimsuit, came in after me.

“Isn’t today’s Megucchi laying it on a little thick!? A bath event with a childhood friend in a school swimsuit—guess the top-heroine spot really is locked in for Megucchi!!!”

“Fufufu, Meg knows Norio’s kinks best. In Meg’s hands, Norio’s a total easy pushover scrub.”

By the way, since Megucchi and I have been used to seeing each other naked since we were kids, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about now.
I mean, we were always taking baths together back then.
After we hit middle school it only happened a handful of times, but up through the later years of elementary school—longer than with my little sister Kurumi—we often bathed together.

So I find Megucchi in a school swimsuit more erotic than her being naked.

That said, just because my libido sensors are blaring doesn’t mean I’ll make a move on Megucchi.

I’m the protagonist, after all.
If I gave in to a moment of lust and did that, I’d make the other heroines sad. Not letting your heroines feel sad—that’s the pride of a harem protagonist.

So even if I’m all worked up over a childhood friend in a school swimsuit, I just enjoy the view and keep my hands to myself.

Yeah.
I’m a dangerously charming man, Norio.

However, Megucchi doesn’t care about that.

Pretending it’s an accident, she smooshes those ample breasts boing-boing against me.

Megucchi’s always been hands-on, but these last few days she’s been especially intense.

Maybe ever since I told her about Tsukino-san.
And then today I told her about Sakura-senpai too.

Hearing about the other heroines and getting flustered enough to go bold—what a cute childhood friend, honestly.

Yeah.
I’m a dangerously charming man, Norio.

After thoroughly enjoying some lucky-perv boing-boing with Megucchi, I repay her by washing her hair.

I work up a lather, kneading her scalp with my fingertips, and Megucchi starts humming, looking blissed out.
The bold Megucchi from moments ago had settled back into her usual calm.

Once I finish washing her hair, we both soak in the tub.
A slack “phew” escapes us both.

Leisurely bath time, just the two of us. Guess that’s something only childhood friends can manage.
With the other heroines, it would never be this calm.

“Hey! Don’t fart in the bath! The ‘b-bup’ vibration reached Meg, okay! It stinks so bad! For real, go die!”

Yeah.
I’m a dangerously charming man, Norio.

#14: How I First Met My Childhood Friend

After getting out of the bath, we went back to my room, and now—at Megucchi’s insistence—I’m blow-drying her hair.

By the way, tonight Megucchi’s wearing my T-shirt with a hoodie and shorts.

She did run next door to grab underwear before the bath, but apparently didn’t bring pajamas.

“‘Sleepover’ means boyfriend shirt, right?”

“I’m not your boyfriend, though.”

“Details, details. More importantly, dry Meg’s hair with the dryer.”

“Good grief, what a calculating childhood friend.”

And let’s not forget the school swimsuit Megucchi wore all day and soaked in the bath. After washing, it’s now hanging to dry in my room.

Hmm.

On her, it’s the ultimate gear, but hanging like this it’s got zero sex appeal—just surreal.

Once I finish drying Megucchi’s hair, we start studying together like usual.

Lying on the floor, answering Megucchi’s questions now and then as we went, I must’ve had the week’s fatigue piled up—being a Friday—and before I knew it, I’d nodded off.

When I woke up in the middle of the night, a comforter had been draped over me while I was still on the floor.

Probably Megucchi put it over me.

Heh.
As expected of Megucchi—thoughtful, aren’t you. What a cutie.

And as for Megucchi, she was fast asleep, clinging to me.

Watching her barefaced, innocent sleeping face lit by the streetlight sneaking into the room, I remember when we were kids.

We met when the Tsuchida family moved in next door the year we started elementary school.

When they came by as a family to greet us after moving, our parents introduced us, and right then Megucchi said, “I’m Meg! Let’s play together!” and the three of us—me, Kurumi, and her—played games. Even back then, Megucchi was always active, the kind of kid who got along with anyone. Not that she’s changed now.

By contrast, Kurumi and I were the stay-inside types who didn’t play outdoors, and Megucchi always invited us to play. Thanks to her, even though Kurumi and I had basically only Megucchi as a friend, we never felt lonely.

We always went to and from school together, and when we got back, Megucchi would head straight to our place without even stopping by her own, and we’d play or study until it got dark. Not so different from now.

So back then I saw Megucchi like a sibling, just like Kurumi. Because of that, I didn’t think of her as the opposite sex; taking baths together or sleeping under the same futon was just an everyday, normal thing.
If anything, my real little sister Kurumi developed a sense of herself as a girl earlier than Megucchi did. Kurumi refused shared baths first.

But even if our feelings didn’t register each other as the opposite sex, our bodies were another story; compared to other kids, Megucchi’s chest started to develop early, and she got a more feminine figure.

Because I was always with a girl like that, our friends often teased us. Neither of us cared, so it never got awkward; looking back, we trusted each other that much, and the background noise didn’t matter.

A change came between us when we entered middle school.

More developed than her peers and with looks you could call beautiful, Megucchi started getting confessed to by boys over and over as soon as we entered.

She turned them all down with a “Romance? Not interested,” but watching that made me anxious inside.

It wasn’t like, “Megucchi’s going to be stolen by someone else!” or anything.

It was more, “Megucchi’s popular, so why am I not!?”

When I told Megucchi that, she laughed and said, “Even if Norio isn’t popular, Meg’s here, so it’s fine, right?” but at the time, it wasn’t funny to me.

Out of petty jealousy and pride, I got worked up: “I’ll make myself popular, absolutely!”

Yeah.
Thus the birth of a dangerously charming man.

I gently stroke the head of the sleeping Megucchi clinging to me.

“Nori…o… bikinis are… no… go… Zzz”

Heh.
In her dreams, is she trying a micro bikini for my sake?
Honestly, what a cute childhood friend Megucchi is.

Even though we washed our hair with the same shampoo, a sweet, girlish scent different from mine tickles my nose, and I close my eyes again.