As A Result of Trying To Live An Erotic Slow-Life, I Have Become The Underground Ruler of This Upside-Down Otherworld - Chapter 55: Shuri and Kazune

Chapter 55: Shuri and Kazune

Shuri POV

Staring at the colorless ceiling, my thoughts are always the same.

I think I’ve finally gotten used to the softness of the bedding, something I never experienced as a Rat.

But I still can’t get used to myself.

I’ve built a version of myself that adores Goshujin… Arius-sama.

Thankfully, I must be accepted, because I don’t feel treated harshly.

He pats my head, calls me cute, and gives me gentle smiles.

Yes, it’s truly warm.

Even though I’m an “ugly” woman, my existence is acknowledged. More than that, I’m shown kindness.

It’s so much I wonder if I’m really allowed to receive it.

If I were treated cruelly, it might’ve been better. I could’ve used atonement as an excuse to do anything, to offer everything.

Even if Arius-sama doesn’t know, staying like this just piles on the guilt.

I made a mistake.

I put you in danger, Arius-sama.

If he knew… what would he think of me?

I want him to scold me, to condemn me.

It’s a wish, I know it’s a wish. I can keep it in my heart because I know it won’t come true.

If he did that, I could solidify the me I am now.

That’s the old Shuri thinking.

The current me is just a useless dog serving Arius-sama as my master.

A useless dog should act like one, wagging its tail.

If my master shows joy, I should add to it.

Something inside me screams that this isn’t okay.

But if I act on that scream, I’ll make another mistake.

The Shuri who’s supposed to be dead, listening to the voice of a ghost that shouldn’t be heard—that’s just foolish.

“But…”

That boy, Yuri, who appeared before my master.

The unease he brings stirs my heart.

My Rat instincts are shouting to stay alert.

Since I sensed Yuri collapsed, that warning bell’s been ringing in my head.

The old Shuri would’ve stopped us from helping him.

No, she would’ve dealt with him before Arius-sama even noticed.

It’s not that the boy himself is dangerous—it’s the vague feeling of something lurking behind him, pulling strings.

“What… should I do?”

But then.

What should I, the current me, do? What should I have done?

As a useless dog, I’m my master’s personal guard, tasked with warding off his dangers.

Should I have dealt with him after all?

But my master’s eyes back then wouldn’t allow that conflict.

It’s an excuse, but…

Faced with those eyes, I thought I should leave everything to him.

“Then… I should protect my master’s will.”

If my master decides, I just follow.

I only need to support his resolve. I don’t know if it’s right, but…

“Hm? Wait, at this hour… could it be, Goshujin?”

A knock at the door makes me tilt my head.

He’s supposed to be with Serika-sama tonight.

Did he not get satisfied… no, that’s unlikely. Then who?

W-Wait, could it be one of those group sex invites!? Is he going to show off, like, “How’s that, don’t you want to give yourself to me?”

That’d be bad, Goshujin.

“…Huh?”

“Yo! Dried-up girl. Looking lively, huh?”

Feeling heat in my cheeks, all I can do is widen my eyes at Kazune standing before me.

※

“Man, it’s so much easier with you around.”

“…Can we stop now?”

Running through the night city with Kazune.

My heart’s pounding—still from the shock, or maybe nerves?

“This spot should do.”

A short way from Ronnyan, the place Kazune picked is a deserted park.

What does she want with me… what a dumb question.

I’ve long been ready for her words or violence. I think it’s deserved.

“Hey, you’re not the Shuri we know anymore, right?”

“…Sorry.”

Her accusing gaze makes me flinch a bit.

“I thought you wanted something with this me.”

“As expected. No matter what, your core doesn’t change.”

Brushing off the tense vibe, Kazune laughs.

I can’t quite read her.

What does she really want with me?

“What? Thought I’d yell at you? Or maybe slug you? Joking, I’m not doing anything you’d enjoy.”

“…”

She’s right.

I did want that. Since Arius-sama won’t treat me that way, I hoped, at least…

“Don’t try to make it easy. To us Rats, you’re pretty much an enemy. No way we’re saving you.”

“As you say. Sorry.”

I can’t even respond. All I can do is apologize.

A sinner who doesn’t try to atone, just wanting to feel better—she saw right through me.

“If I keep going, you’ll just enjoy it, so I’d say keep suffering… but.”

“…?”

“You know, right? Yuri-kun’s investigation, we got it.”

Of course I know.

I’m the one who suggested it to Goshujin.

“I know you pulled strings for it. Thanks for that, I appreciate it.”

“It was… fitting.”

It’s not something to be thanked for.

I just thought she was the right person to fulfill Goshujin’s wish, that’s all.

“But we’re short-handed. I need your help.”

“That’s…”

“Obviously, it pisses me off. Duh, you’re a traitor.”

Ah, Kazune’s so kind.

Her words are harsh, but she’s giving me a chance to atone.

Then—

“Don’t nod!!”

“!?”

Her sharp voice stops me.

“I don’t want you nodding if you think this is atonement. I’m not saying I’ll forgive you if you do it.”

“Ah, u…”

Then what should I do?

I’m not allowed to nod or atone—what’s the right thing to do?

“All I… all I want is closure.”

“Clo… sure?”

From what?

“This is the last time, I think, we’ll move as the Rats. Once this job’s done, we’ll be Arius-san’s subordinates, we’ll become that. That means we won’t be the Rats from when you were around, Shuri-cchi.”

“…”

Shuri-cchi. It’s been a while since I heard that name.

Right, that’s who the dead me was.

“You became a different you without saying goodbye to us. I’m not blaming you—Shuri-cchi’s the one to blame, Shuri-cchi’s the one who should be judged.”

Oh, I see, that’s how it is.

In Kazune’s mind, Shuri hasn’t died yet.

Yeah, makes sense.

I haven’t fully killed Shuri myself either.

“I hate this gloom, hate it so much. I hate this mopey me even more. …Show me your strength, Shuri-cchi. Despite everything, make me think you were a great leader in the end. Then, I think we can properly say goodbye.”

“…Right.”

This isn’t atonement.

It’s not even for forgiveness.

“Responsibility…”

It’s responsibility.

The responsibility of a leader who left the Rats behind, a forgotten debt called duty.

I won’t lie and say that’s why I couldn’t move forward.

“Yuri’s suspicious.”

“Oh?”

Sorry, Towa-sama.

“Picked up on purpose, tortured just right.”

“Hmm? So Yuri-kun’s a pawn?”

The Shuri who was supposed to die that day…

“Not quite. High chance he’s being used.”

“Got it. …Guess my gut’s not half bad.”

Looks like I failed to die after all.

“Me and Kazune, keep guarding and watching Yuri. Everyone else, dig into Yuri’s hometown.”

“Got it! We’re betting on kidnapping, but is it public knowledge?”

“Don’t know. But check if his parents or hometown were attacked. Whether there’s a living witness matters.”

Knowing the method reveals a lot.

Luckily, Yuri’s recovery will take time, and the Rats’ network should be enough.

“Can you do it?”

“What, you mocking me? Your jokes have gotten better.”

“Not really. Just thought Kazune, who didn’t get a proper handover, isn’t leading well.”

“Hah… Bring it.”

Yeah, that’s right.

This must be where I belong.

I can’t go back now, but still.

A bird leaving its nest shouldn’t leave a mess behind.

“For Shuri-cchi, you. For us, to become Arius-sama’s.”

“That’s fine. A fitting end for the Rats.”

Let’s start.

A farewell party we were never supposed to have again.