Water Hyacinth ②

As we passed through the entrance, Ayane tugged on the hem of my jinbei with a force that felt like it might tear.

“W-what’s wrong, Ayane? It’s going to tear.”

“annyoing“

In an instant, a cold voice, so cold I couldn’t tell who had spoken.

Of course, it could only be Ayane.

The fury was conveyed in just that one word.

“W-why are you so angry?”

“Because Mama and Onii-chan were talking about stupid things like becoming independent from your brother, of course…!”

So she did hear.

“I did feel like Onii-chan stopped agreeing right away to my invitations recently, but you were talking about things like that behind my back with Mama, weren’t you? I can’t forgive that…“

“Sorry, but I was worried about Ayane…”

“Worried? What are you worried about!?”

“Ayane, you often play with me, but I worry that you might not have other friends to play with. I know it’s probably not the case, but I worry about things like you being bullied.”

“…so that was it. I play with Onii-chan because it’s the most fun and makes me the happiest. I have friends, and I’m not being bullied.”

“I see.”

“Then it’s fine, right?”

“Hm?”

“There’s nothing for Onii-chan to worry about, so I’m going to be with Onii-chan from now on, too.”

“No, but…”

“What? Is there some other reason?”

Her words made me realize.

Why would I go to such lengths to make Ayane independent?

Was I just being stubborn?

“…I guess not.”

“Then it’s fine. Onii-chan, don’t ever say such meaningless things again.”

Her words held a pressure that seemed to permit only affirmation.

“Ah, I’m so irritated. I’m still irritated now… I’ll make up for the irritation by clinging to you a lot later.”

“A-ah.”

Then Ayane’s arm coiled around mine like a snake.

 I felt a soft sensation on my left arm.

I shuddered.

A doubt I had never imagined before.

No, that couldn’t be true.

Ayane couldn’t possibly have ‘those kinds of feelings.’

“Mmm! Onii-chan, that looks delicious too!”

“Ayane, we just ate takoyaki (octopus balls), didn’t we?”

The sky was a mix of sunset and night, like a painting.

The biggest summer festival in Hanekure Town was taking place beneath that sky.

This usually quiet town was overflowing with people, who seemed to come from nowhere for the summer festival.

I threw myself into the hubbub that is a summer tradition.

“Ehh, that amount wasn’t enough. I’m still super hungry.”

Every year, I visit this summer festival with Ayane as if it were a rule.

Usually, the unchanging vitality of the festival would fill me with a mixed feeling of relief and nostalgia, but the strange sensation on my left side prevented me from feeling it.

My stepsister’s arm was entwined with my left arm.

It hadn’t untangled since we left the house.

She never used to do this.

“Ah, they have buttered potatoes too! Let’s eat it together, Onii-chan!”

The same innocence as always.

Because her attitude was unchanged from usual, the abnormal situation on my left side felt even more serious.

I had tried subtly to untangle it, but the moment she sensed it, she tightened her grip.

A slight fear that Ayane might squeeze my arm until it tore if I tried to forcefully disentangle myself, made me break out in cold sweat.

I was familiar with this fear.

It was the same as on the train ride home from the beach.

I was pulled to the left.

Bringing my awareness back from my thoughts, I saw takoyaki in front of me, smelling deliciously of sauce and dried bonito flakes.

“Here, Onii-chan. Say ‘Aan’.”

I ate the takoyaki offered to me almost as a reflex.

The heat packed inside spread through my mouth.

“How is it?”

If asked “how is it,” all I could say was “hot.”

“It’s really hot.”

“Ahahaha, you really look like you’re hot, Onii-chan.”

Ayane laughed at me, as I desperately tried to cool it down in my mouth.

Her smile made me feel reassured.

…That’s right, I’ve been her older brother for ten years.

Seeing my sister happy makes my heart feel reassured in response.

Perhaps I’ve been overthinking things too much.

I didn’t realize it much, but perhaps I’m also quite severely affected.

The fact that I’m worrying so much about my sister is proof of that.

“It’s hotter than the last one, but it’s delicious.”

For now… maybe I should just enjoy the festival purely for this moment.

“Hey, Ayane. I heard there’s a goldfish scooping booth over there, do you want to try it?”

“Yeah! Let’s have a contest to see who can scoop more!”

“Are you challenging me to a contest knowing that I’m terrible at goldfish scooping?”

“Ehehe~ did you find out?”

“I don’t mind a contest, but let’s not have any punishment games.”

“Ehh! That won’t be any fun~”

“There’s no fun to be had, as it won’t be a contest to begin with.”

“Hmm, then let’s do the shooting gallery. Let’s have a contest at the shooting gallery.”

The shooting gallery, huh?

I don’t remember Ayane or me having done that much.

“Alright. And what kind of contest will it be?”

“Hmm, how about the first person to knock down a prize wins?”

“Let’s go with that, then. We shouldn’t waste money, so let’s limit it to three shots per person.”

“The punishment will be a cliché one: the loser has to grant the winner one wish, okay?”

“Wait, Ayane. I said no punishment games earlier—”

“That was for the goldfish scooping, wasn’t it~? No, no, the shooting gallery must have a punishment game.”

I felt like I had been tricked somehow.

I was led to the shooting gallery stall without being entirely satisfied.

“Two rounds of shooting gallery, please!”

“Coming right up, 300 yen per person.”

I paid the money and received a gun from the man wearing a head towel.

“It’s a contest now, Onii-chan!”

“I wonder if I’ll be okay…”

After that, Ayane and I had a shooting gallery contest, and the result was a new discovery: Ayane is surprisingly good at shooting galleries too.

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…How sudden are unexpected events?

That ‘person’ had certainly often dominated my thoughts and emotions over the past few months, but at this exact moment, I hadn’t been thinking about her at all.

It was her.

It was Takamine-san.

It happened after the shooting gallery contest, after repeatedly navigating the crowds to a stall and leaving a stall, with Ayane’s curiosity as our guide, when I was starting to feel so fatigued that the word ‘rest’ appeared in my mind.

The unobtainable flower appeared right ahead.

She, too, was beautifully draped in a yukata for the festival.

However, due to the immense crowd, there was no sign that she had noticed me.

My mind was completely blank, with only the string of characters ‘What should I say?’ lining up.

For now, I swallowed.

And at the same time, several people appeared following her.

“Wait up, Hana~”

It was Koiwai Kanami-san.

That wasn’t all.

Other familiar classmates.

And among them were boys…

I felt a light clench in my heart.

“Takamine walks fast, doesn’t she?”

One of the boys followed up and spoke.

He was Kiryuu Daichi, I think.

A boy with a refined appearance who talked to girls without distinction—a person who could easily approach the unobtainable flower.

That was my impression of him.

“Oh? Do you think so?”

She smiled as she replied to Kiryuu-kun.

Ah, so it’s true after all.

Sometimes, rumors are whispered that ‘Takamine-san and Kiryuu-kun are romantically involved.’

All I could do in response was pathetically gather denial factors and pretend to be calm.

However, the fact that I had heard in the past that Takamine-san had someone she liked.

I’ve wondered countless times if that person was Kiryuu-kun.

Everyone says they’re a good match.

I think so too.

In the end, I guess that’s why my phone didn’t vibrate.

It’s natural for her to have friends to spend the summer festival with; furthermore, it’s totally plausible for her to use this as an opportunity to invite the boy she likes.

Ah, my heart is a mess.

My heart felt like it was being hammered into a shape I couldn’t recognize.

“What’s wrong, Onii-chan? Your face is pale.”

It was my sister, Ayane, who scooped me up from the bottom of my miserable and depressed mood.

“…Ah, you’re right. I suddenly feel like I need to go to the restroom.”

I wanted to vomit out my secret feelings.

Ah, how pathetic to be worried about by my sister.

I cursed my own weakness.

If I’m going to be hurt by such things, I might as well just be defeated and give up quickly.

The logical me whispered that.

Ah, I know, but…

It was at this point that she finally noticed me, and our eyes met.

The secret relationship between her and me.

It had stuck patches on my heart, equal in number to the scars on it.

It’s the same even now.

The moment our eyes met, my mood shifted from despair to joy.

I’m still afraid of not being given a patch more than being wounded, and that’s why I haven’t been defeated yet.

However, when her eyes met mine, she didn’t give me the small smile that only I understood, as she usually did; she just froze her expression for a moment.

“Did you need to go to the restroom, Onii-chan? You should have told me earlier.”

What was I hoping for?

That she would smile at me?

Maybe I should just go and vomit it out once.

As I was thinking that, Ayane’s arm smoothly uncoiled.

A slight numbness ran through my arm as it felt lighter.

“Could you wait here for me? I’ll come back here after I use the restroom.”

I wanted to escape, so I left the spot.

I pushed through the crowd.

Coward, weak, pathetic.

I ran.

I heaped all the abuse I could on myself, moving without knowing where I was going.

When I realized it, the crowd had disappeared, and I had arrived in a quiet grove of trees.

I gradually slowed my pace.

I wanted to blurt it out now, scream it out.

If I was going to feel this way, I shouldn’t have fallen in love, I thought.

But those words were stuck in my throat and wouldn’t come out.

When will this sweet and bitter feeling ever be requited?

After staring up at the sky for a while, I calmed down a little.

It was true that I had thought about giving up several times.

I thought I knew better than anyone that this love was beyond me.

That’s why I needlessly belittled myself and envied others.

Childish, utterly childish.

I belittled myself again.

But then why haven’t I given up and abandoned this feeling yet?

Every time, just when I think about giving up, she shows me hope.

And I easily latch onto it.

All that’s left is to repeat the cycle.

I know others would say, “give up quickly or make up your mind,” if they knew.

My phone vibrated.

But look, here it is.

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Sender: Takamine Hana

Subject: None

Body: I want to talk to you a little, just the two of us, so please come to Hanekure Shrine.

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This is how she always scoops me up like a goldfish.

I headed straight for Hanekure Shrine after receiving the message.

On the way, I thought about the part of the email that said she wanted to talk.

What could she possibly want to talk about?

Although, nine times out of ten, it would probably be about my novel.

Author and reader.

Our relationship was such an unromantic one.

Yet, that was fine.

Even without romance, it was a satisfying relationship for me.

A long, tall flight of stairs came into view.

The entrance to the grounds of Hanekure Shrine.

The stairs were so steep and numerous that they were often used for training by athletes but were generally avoided by the public.

Since it was slightly far from the festival grounds, there was hardly anyone around.

The stairs, lit only by the moonlight, stretched before me.

Was Takamine-san waiting beyond this?

I stepped onto the stairs.

Just a few steps, and my shoulders were rising and falling from the exertion.

The stairs continued endlessly.

Someone once said, “Life has its ups and downs.”

Even if not as long and grand as ‘life,’ this love of mine has also had its mountains and valleys.

Will the top of these stairs be a mountain or a valley?

My heart rate accelerated.

Feeling tired, I stopped.

Looking back, I could clearly see the faint, glowing activity of the festival, far away from this dark area.

“…Right, I’ve left Ayane waiting.”

But it’s a bustling festival that only happens once a year.

She’ll probably forgive me if I use the crowds as an excuse.

I resumed climbing the stone steps.

They were high, high steps, and a dull fatigue accumulated in my legs.

Why did Takamine-san choose a place like this?

That question grew stronger with every step I took.

Finally, the end came into sight.

I put one foot in front of the other, alternating steps, summoning my last bit of strength.

By the time I took the final step, I was utterly exhausted.

She was there, as if to reward me for my efforts.

No, to be precise, a figure who looked like her.

The sun had set long ago, and the darkness covering the area made it difficult to make out the face of the person a few steps away.

“Takamine-san…?”

I called out to confirm her identity.

The figure reacted with a startle.

Did I mistake the person? Just as that thought began to form, a reply came.

“S-Shiranui-kun.”

Her voice was in a tone I had never heard before, making it difficult to discern her current expression.

“I-I’m sorry for calling you out to a place like this. You must be tired… right?”

Only after she mentioned it did I realize I was out of breath.

“A-ah, that’s just because I don’t usually exercise.”

“Um, Shiranui-kun… well, I’m sorry for calling you here. You must be tired.”

Didn’t she just say the same thing?

She repeated the same sentence so naturally that I wondered if I had misheard her.

“No, well. I’m fine.”

“Um, what was it? That… um, what was I going to say…”

She spoke disjointedly, incoherently.

I had never seen Takamine-san like this.

“Ahaha, I’m sorry. My head is all mixed up, and I don’t know what to say. No, I do have something I want to ask.”

“Takamine-san, calm down. I don’t know what you’re saying.”

“No, you should understand.“

This time, a demanding line.

Tonight’s Takamine-san was weird.