Chapter 31 – I Wanted It –

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“You’re late—! Wait, the one next to you is…”

　When we reached the cove,
　Cecil, upon seeing Ati,
　uttered those words.

　I understand the shock from such a sudden appearance.
　But now is not the time to dwell on that.

“Actually, it’s just that Ati was here too.”

“That’s right.”

“Eh…? Ah, geez! I understand. There’s no time to waste.”

　Although Cecil was momentarily confused,
　she quickly grasped what needed to be prioritized.

　We hurriedly boarded the boat.
　There was also a boat that Ati had boarded, so we decided to use both and return in two boats—one for Ati and me, and one for Madi and Cecil.

　However…… even though we had boarded, I realized there was one problem.
　Even if we set sail—with this torrential rain, our course was uncertain.
　No matter how hard we tried to look ahead, nothing could be seen.

（…But we couldn’t remain stranded here forever）

　A sense of urgency began to grow.
　Yet, suddenly, the intensity of the rain diminished.
　In the once unbroken, cloudy sky, a few gaps appeared, allowing warm light to stream in.
　The water was rising, and the waves were still rough.
　But the greatest obstacle to our progress had vanished.

　It was as if the weather itself were urging us to proceed.
　I felt it saying, “Hurry, hurry!”
　Not wanting to miss this chance, we pushed the boats forward.

　And then——.

　On the sea, murky with the color of the clouds,
　it was when Cecil noticed something amiss with Madi,
　around the time the shore began to appear.
　Cecil’s face, as she rode alongside us, suddenly tensed.
　I asked, “What’s wrong?”
　Then,

“Wait a moment, this child……”

　Cecil halted her rowing and gently placed her hand on Madi’s neck.

“…It’s too cold… Much colder than when I first held him. The warmth of a living person is completely gone.”

“…Huh?”

　Those words signified Madi’s demise—an announcement of the end of life.

　When he was being devoured by the boss’s gaping lower abdomen, perhaps he was given something like poison.
　Or maybe it was the result of being mentally cornered and utterly exhausted, with the torrential rain sapping his remaining strength.

　The cause… is unknown.
　But on that boat rocking on the sea,
　we stared intently at Madi’s lifeless face for a long while.

　The rain suddenly began to cease as soon as we set sail—perhaps because everything had already been washed away and settled: the smoldering sparks of malice in the 【Mansion of Foreigners】, our righteous indignation, this child’s life.
　―Everything, regardless of good or evil.

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　After reaching the shore, we first returned the boats to their original locations.
　There was no noticeable damage, and the owners probably wouldn’t have noticed they’d been used without permission.
　Then, once that was taken care of,
　we buried Madi.
　We felt we couldn’t simply hand over a corpse.
　I remember he was the kind of parent who would search for the missing Madi and, upon finding him, rush over and embrace him out of love.
　In that case,
　I wouldn’t want to see my own child turn colder than water.

　At the very least, as a final tribute,
　I intended to properly deliver the medicine.

　So, after that—
　after the burial was over,
　I set out with Ati to search for Madi’s parent.

　Cecil also tried to come along, but since we were the ones who originally knew him,
　we persuaded her to step back.

　She wore an expression as if she had tasted the bitterness of life.
　However,

“…I did my best to save him, yet now I don’t even understand why we hurried. Well, I don’t regret it. I only acted the way I wanted to.”

　Her expression changed quickly, marked by nothing more than a single exhalation.
　As someone who wields a sword,
　perhaps she understood the proper distance one must maintain when a life is lost—clearly distinguishing between life and death.
　That was the impression I got.

　Ati and I walked through town in search of Madi’s parent.
　A full, round moon had risen overhead.
　Night was already deepening.
　Even the once bustling stalls were in the process of closing up.
　Silence steadily increased.

　―ho, ho.
　Even though we were in town, the sound of an owl hooting could be heard from somewhere.
　The world was already becoming the domain of nocturnal creatures.

　It was around then that we encountered Madi’s mother.

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“You all are…!”

It wasn’t that we found her—Madi’s mother found us. She swiftly came over, shaking her shoulders in a panic.

“He’s gone—Madi, that boy is missing! Do you know where he is?!”
“No, I don’t know where he is right now…”

…I don’t know. I was just about to add, “Please keep this medicine safe—” when she continued:

“My husband! Madi’s father just died! He said he wanted to see Madi one last time, to stroke his head…”

The hand that had been gripping me slowly fell away, and Madi’s mother collapsed to her knees. It was a fact that offered no solace. I couldn’t say anything, and Ati didn’t utter a single word either.

“…I’m sorry for losing my composure. I’m going to search for Madi until he’s found. He’s all I have left.”

Until the tear-stricken Madi’s mother left the scene, we simply gazed blankly at the town bathed in moonlight. The hand that held the medicine remained clenched. How could it ever open?

—the outcome of these events.
In retrospect, perhaps there was some gain after all. The expensive medicine was never used and ended up in my pocket, and by chance I even got a small snake. Those pirate-like thugs lost their cohesion, which helped maintain order, I suppose.

But for Madi and his family, it ended in nothing but loss.

※※※※

A few days passed. During that time, nothing special happened. I told Ati about the little snake, and we even decided on a name together—nothing more. Before we knew it, this is the last night on the Northeastern Continent.

“…”

I sat gazing out the window of my room. Because it was night, there wasn’t any beautiful view of the sea—only utter darkness. I brought a light closer to take a look, yet the depth of the darkness showed no sign of clearing.

What kept returning to my mind was the whole Madi affair. It was nothing more than one of those ordinary misfortunes that happen everywhere—nothing I should really worry about. Such abrupt endings always occur. But—

Abrupt endings always occur?
So then, will a sudden end come for me someday?

Suddenly, I started pondering that. Up until now, I’ve somehow managed to live normally. But when you think about it, you never know when death will come.

When the house burned down—if that had happened while I was asleep? I probably would have been reduced to charcoal.

During the battle at the 【Mansion of Foreigners】—if Ati’s help hadn’t arrived in time? I probably would have been killed then.

Anxiety swirled in my chest. My heart fluttered uneasily. Then, I heard the sound of the door opening. When I turned around, there was Ati—with her cheeks faintly flushed and her hair still damp, clearly after a bath.

“Harold…様?”

It was a sudden impulse. Without answering her words, I scooped her up and slowly collapsed onto the bed.

“…You are my slave.”
“Y-yes…”
“Therefore, you cannot refuse what I am about to do.”
“Uh, that is—”

After that, words ceased as our lips met. Normally, even if desire was aroused, it would end there. But today, it couldn’t end that way.

It wasn’t about gradually closing the distance or caring about Ati’s feelings—it was because, all of a sudden, I wanted you so badly. The thought that there might come a day when tomorrow never comes made me want you unbearably.

What is burning right now is not my house or the 【Mansion of Foreigners】, but my own base desire.

Your soft skin, your sweet scent, even your first…

On the final night before leaving the Northeastern Continent, I made all of that… mine.

The only bit of reason I managed to keep at that moment was this one thing: to treat Ati as gently as possible.