After I Picked up a Notebook Filled With Intense Emotions, the Girls Started Acting Strange - Chapter 14.5

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[April 7, 202×]

I decided to start keeping a diary today.

I’m already in sixth grade.

But I still don’t think I can become a hero yet.

[April 16, 202×]

There was someone who needed help, so I helped them.

It was an old man I met while I was out. His leg hurt. When I helped him, he thought I was a boy.

That’s kind of rude. I mean, people do say I act wild, and my hair’s short, but still.

[April 20, 202×]

I went to Grandma’s house today.

She always told me that if I do good things, someday it’ll come back to me.

I think so too. That’s why I want to become a hero. Like the ones I used to see on TV when I was little.

[May 15, 202×]

My childhood friend was being bullied, so I helped him.

He didn’t even thank me and just ran off somewhere.

So later, I went to his house to scold him.

He’s a boy; he should be a little braver.

[May 20, 202×]

He was being bullied again today. When I helped him, he disappeared before I noticed.

[June 15, 202×]

It’s been raining a lot lately. I don’t like it.

Oh, and I can’t find my math textbook. Did I lose it?

[June 18, 202×]

My notebook was torn up. It was probably the boys playing a prank.

[June 20, 202×]

This time, someone scribbled all over my desk.

My shoes were hidden too.

It has to be that boy’s fault.

When I confronted him, he threw away the keychain Grandma gave me into the river.

When I asked why, he said it was payback. Payback for helping that boy.

I don’t understand. I couldn’t find the keychain.

[June 21, 202×]

No one will help me.

That boy is strong and violent, and everyone’s scared of him, so maybe it can’t be helped…

But still. It hurts. I don’t want to go to school anymore…

[July 1, 202×]

The keychain that was thrown into the river and lost somehow was sitting on my desk today.

When I asked around, someone said a boy from another class brought it back.

When I went to find him, he was fighting the bully and actually fighting him.

And he made the bully promise not to bother me again.

He didn’t even know I was secretly watching from behind the corner.

I thought he was the real hero.

I don’t know why he helped me.

But what happened today burned deep inside my heart.

I want to know more about him.

I want to know, I want to know, I want to know, I want to know.

My head is filled with thoughts of him.

[July 2, 202×]

I don’t understand.

Why is everyone saying that it was my childhood friend who saved me?

He didn’t do anything. But everyone’s giving him praise and thanks. It’s wrong.

Even when I deny it, nobody believes me. And he, the real one, doesn’t speak up either.

Just because he’s my childhood friend… doesn’t mean people should see it that way.

The one who truly saved me was “him.”

That shadow burned into my heart that day. There was only one person it could be.

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[April 6, 202◯]

I became a middle school student.

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[July ×, 202◯]

We’re moving away. To another country, they said.

I feel lonely knowing I won’t be able to see “him” anymore.

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[◯ ◯, 202◯]

I heard some news from an old friend.

In the corner of a photo they sent, I saw “him.” My chest tightened when I saw his face. 

I still don’t really understand what this feeling is.

[◯ ×, 202◯]

I keep looking at “his” picture, just like always.

I want to become a better person, so I can be closer to the “him” I admire.

I’ll start by learning to cook.

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[△ △, 202△]

I’m now in my second year of middle school.

My old friend said she’s in the same class as “him.” I’m so jealous.

She said his favorite food is chikuwa tempura, the kind her mom packs in her lunchbox. 

That’s good information.

…Wait, why are they getting along so well?

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[April 15, 202□]

I get to go back to Japan for a while. Soon, I’ll be able to see “him.” It’s been two years.

My heart’s racing. I need to find out what this feeling really means.

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[April 29, 202□]

Huh? Why is he like that now?

I don’t get it.

[May 3, 202□]

I finally saw “him.” No, I have not really met him. I just watched from far away.

“He” was crying.

And all I could do was watch, and I felt my chest tighten again.

[May 4, 202□]

My heart hurts. That’s how the whole day felt.

I found out why “he” was crying.

And now, I understand what this feeling inside me really is.

[May 5, 202□]

My whole world is filled with him.

No matter who I talk to, no matter what I do, everything else loses its color.

…Without him, nothing has meaning.

That girl, I can’t forgive her.

The one who took everything away from “him” …She deserves punishment.

[May 6, 202□]

I have to go back now.

If I said I wasn’t lonely, that would be a lie. But right now, I have to seal these feelings away.

I made a promise to myself that I’ll become perfect.

For “him.” I’ll make everything perfect.

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[◇ ◯, 202◇]

I’m finally going back home.

Back to where “he” is. It’s been about two years since I last saw him. Even if it was only from far away.

First, I need to get into the same high school as him.

[February ××, 202◇]

I’m back. Back to my hometown.

Back to “him.”

I’ll see him soon.

I want to see him.

I want to see him I want to see him I want to see him I want to see him I want to see him I want to see him I want to see him I want to see him I want to see him I want to see him I want to see him I want to see him I want to see him I want to see him I want to see him I want to see him I want to see him I want to see him I want to see him I want to see him I want to see him I want to see him I want to see him I want to see him I want to see him I want to see him I want to see him I want to see him I want to see him I want to see him I want to see him I want to see him I want to see him I want to see him I want to see him I want to see him I want to see him I want to see him I want to see him I want to see him I want to see him I want to see him I want to see him I want to see him I want to see him I want to see him I want to see him I want to see him I want to see him I want to see him I want to see him I want to see him I want to see him I want to see him I want to see him.

[February ×△, 202◇]

It’s the same as always.

It’s kind of funny. I will never forgive them.

[March ◯×, 202◇]

I decided to make a plan.

A plan to make him mine. Only mine.

Wait. It will happen soon.

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[April 7, 202◇]

Wait. We’re in the same class.

I feel like I’m going crazy. I don’t know if I can hold back.

I like him.

I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him I like him.