After I Confessed to My Childhood Friend and Got Rejected, I Threw a Game Offline Meetup to Cheer Myself Up, Only to Find Out My Long-Time Gaming Buddy Was Actually the Quiet, Silver-Haired Swedish Beauty Who's the Cutest Girl in School - Chapter 19: I'm in Love

Chapter 19: I’m in Love

“Hey, Chika… don’t you think it’s about time you stopped that habit of deciding everything on your own and pushing the conversation forward?”

The thread that had been suppressing his emotions snapped with a pop, and strong words poured out from the man named Amamiya Takaaki—words he had never uttered before.

Tojo was stunned by the sudden change, as if a completely different person had possessed him.

“I have my own will too, and there are mountains of things I want to say. Don’t think I’m some convenient doll that will always move according to your whims…”

He faced Tojo with a dignified attitude and a cold tone.

Tojo, who had never once been snapped at by him before, lost her words in sheer surprise.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Amamiya stand up from the sofa and head straight for the spot in front of the chair where Karina was choking back sobs.

He knelt on the floor and gently pressed a handkerchief to the corners of Karina’s eyes, where tears were flowing.

“I’m sorry, Karina. For ending up hurting you too…”

He recalled Kumagai’s words: people do not change that easily.

He was right.

Because he remained so pathetic, he could not even protect the smile of the girl who had stayed by his side.

He was a worthless person who had only been protected and had never tried to move.

“Takaaki-kun… sniffl… I…”

Karina took the pressed handkerchief and blew her nose.

She was like a child unaccustomed to blowing her nose, closing her eyes and making a sound that was mostly just air, and as Amamiya turned back, he felt a surge of affection for her.

“Relax. I’m not going anywhere, and I won’t let Karina go anywhere either. Because we… we’re partners.”

In those lines without any tension or frustration, and in that sturdy back, the figure of Amamiya that reflected in Karina’s eyes overlapped with the image of her respected partner, Rain.

Amamiya stroked the head of his little sister Anna, who was clutching a pillow tightly, and then sat down across from Tojo.

“I’m happy about your feelings, Chika. I never imagined someone could like even a guy like me. I was the only one who got all carried away on my own, confessed, and thought I got shot down. But learning that there was another meaning behind those insults made me feel so relieved.”

With a gentle gaze, Amamiya told her that.

Hearing it, Tojo let out a sigh of relief and began to speak with a smug air.

“Yes, that’s right. All of that was for your sake too. I really do want you to fix your irresponsible parts, and I’m glad you finally understand…”

“But I won’t date you, Chika.”

It was as if the world had stopped; silence fell over the living room.

Having heard those unbelievable words, Tojo asked in a halting tone.

“Eh… what… what do you mean…?”

“I still like that side of you just as much, Chika. I think it’s attractive how you have absolute confidence in your own thoughts and opinions and never bend them. You’ve changed. You were able to change.”

The image of Tojo Chika, who had once been withdrawn and timid, flashed through his mind.

It was a nostalgic memory.

“So, you must feel the painful journey and the efforts it took to get there more than anyone else. People do not change that easily. You must have wanted to change me so badly that you threw such excessively rejecting words at me, right?”

Amamiya had already grasped the core of those words from back then.

Tojo remained silent, still in shock from his words that they would not date.

“If I said I wasn’t grateful, that would be a lie. Because if it weren’t for your words, Chika, I wouldn’t have practiced smiling in front of the mirror or done voice exercises alone facing the wall. It’s true that people might not change that easily.”

“Then why do you conclude that you won’t date me? If it’s thanks to my words, there’s no reason for you to hate me…”

Tojo cut in, feeling the contradiction of being told they would not date yet hearing affirming words directed at her, but Amamiya interrupted her.

“You’re right, Chika. You’re right, but… you haven’t noticed that your righteousness has become a sharp knife that hurts people. You’re drunk on your own correctness and blind to it.”

Amamiya averted his eyes and told her in a sad voice.

Tojo’s words from the confession still pierced deep in the bottom of Amamiya’s chest and had not been pulled out.

“You’re amazing, Chika. I respect you. But the old you wasn’t the kind of girl who would hurt people so casually like that.”

“T-that’s not… I didn’t mean to…”

“Then why are Anna and Karina crying? Is there some other reason…?”

Amamiya raised his voice at Tojo, who tried to deny her own mistake.

Because what he could not forgive most of all was seeing his friends and family get hurt.

“…!”

Overpowered by his intensity, Tojo fell silent.

He took a deep breath once to regain his composure and continued.

“It might be selfish of me to say this after being the one to confess first. But I can’t date someone who hurts the important people around me…”

Your love is only that much? It’s such cheap feelings.

A third party might criticize him like that.

But that was Amamiya’s answer.

“Don’t mess with me! Do you have any idea how much I’ve done for you!? Who was it that came every morning to wake you up because you couldn’t get out of bed on your own thanks to that stupid game!? Who was it that taught cooking to you two who couldn’t even make a proper meal!? All of it, all of it, all of it was me! Me! I won’t forgive you… I absolutely won’t forgive you! Without me, you’ll stay useless forever!!”

Unable to forgive the rejection, Tojo leaned forward as if transformed and glared at Amamiya.

It was utterly reasonable, without a single mistake.

Even so, Amamiya did not let his expression crumble in agitation.

Because he had known from the start that she would react this way.

“…Lately, I started waking up before 7 a.m., and I noticed all sorts of things. My body doesn’t feel as heavy as it used to, and I don’t spend my days in a depressed mood anymore. As for meals, I’ve started making them with Anna, and though she’s not as nagging as you in her guidance, Chika, I feel like I’ve improved more than before. Even if I cut my finger while peeling vegetable skins.”

“…”

“I’ve started polishing myself in my own way too. My friends give me little scoldings like ‘at this rate, you won’t make it by graduation,’ but there’s no lie in my determination to change for real… because just now, I painfully realized that the usual weak and gloomy Takaaki can’t protect anyone.”

Having witnessed with his own eyes how he made precious people cry, he could no longer stay as he was.

Amamiya Takaaki had to change.

“Thanks for always coming early in the morning for my sake. Thanks for teaching Anna how to cook… but I won’t forgive you, Chika. And you can keep looking down on me as just a gloomy shut-in too.”

Contrary to his usual self-deprecating remarks, Amamiya conveyed it with a clear-hearted feeling.

“But someday, I’ll become able to forgive you, Chika, and I’ll change into a person you can acknowledge. Maybe in half a year, or next year, or after graduation. But this time, I’ll gain the confidence to not bend this will, just like you, Chika.”

“…idiot.”

Tojo took something like a pendant from her bag and threw it to the floor.

A cracking sound echoed as it broke.

It was a heart-shaped pendant.

“I was going to give it to you, but you don’t need it, right…?”

Tears overflowed as she shed them, but Tojo pretended to be calm.

Even faced with her pitiful figure like that, Amamiya’s resolve did not waver.

He would not bend on what he had decided. Even if the other person was the childhood friend he had one-sidedly loved since elementary school.

“…!”

Tojo directed a gaze full of hostility at Karina, who had been listening intently to Amamiya’s words, but she soon stood up as if giving up.

She walked toward the entrance with weak footsteps.

Considering what Tojo had done, it was the natural retribution.

As he gazed at her heartbreaking back, Amamiya told himself that.

With a bang, the front door closed, and Amamiya collapsed to his knees.

He crouched there on the spot and exploded with the emotions he had been holding back, along with overflowing tears.

“I’m sorry… Anna… Karina… it’s my fault… my…”

The sense of accomplishment from having bested Tojo for the first time did not well up in Amamiya even a little.

Because he had let his heart open for a moment due to the kiss, it had made Tojo overconfident and led her to say those cruel words to Karina that she should not be invited into the house anymore.

Amamiya could not forgive such a simple and foolish version of himself.

“It’s my fault… that this happened…”

“It’s okay… it’s okay. Because Takaaki-kun worked hard for our sake… so stop suffering anymore.”

Karina and Anna gently hugged the sobbing Amamiya from behind.

To keep Amamiya, who had fallen into self-loathing, from belittling himself any further, Karina desperately comforted him while suppressing the tremble in her voice.

“I was scared that I’d never be able to chat with Takaaki-kun again. It hurt when she said not to come to the house… I couldn’t say anything back. But Takaaki-kun stood up for me and Anna-chan’s sake and protected us.”

“…”

The way he tried to act cool but ended up crying anyway was so very Amamiya.

No matter how pathetic he looked, Karina would never be disappointed in him.

Amamiya had declared to Tojo with strong resolve that he wanted to change.

Karina had once told him in the game that he did not need to change.

But now she understood that had been wrong.

The reason Amamiya was trying to change was not just because Tojo had rejected him.

More than that, it was so he would not hurt the precious people around him.

Struck to the heart by those words and that determination, Karina realized for the first time the true nature of the feelings she held for him.

Karina was in love with Amamiya Takaaki.