A Story of How I Went to Commit Suicide, but Ended Up at a Mysterious House and Got Pampered by a Motherly Beauty - Chapter 3

Chapter 3

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“Alright, let’s die.”

Having completed my long-prepared arrangements, I said this brightly. The preparation had taken some time, but that was exactly why I believed I had prepared thoroughly.  I had cleaned the room spotlessly and left no personal belongings. Well, there were items for my journey to death, but they fit into a single backpack, sitting alone in the spacious room.

The room was otherwise barren. No TV, no fridge, no washing machine, no table, no chairs. Everything essential for living had been disposed of. Even the bed and bedding were gone. I had gotten rid of those too.

Well, of course. I no longer needed these things. A person about to die didn’t need appliances. If I had one wish, it would be to properly vacate the room, but… There was always a “what if” scenarios. I was 100% determined to die, and I didn’t think I’d suddenly cling to life, but suicide wasn’t guaranteed to succeed. In that case, I wanted a place to return to, just in case, even if reluctantly. 

…That, and the landlord being away on a trip for a while played a big part. Since my contract was directly with the landlord, not through a management company, I couldn’t terminate it without them. Ideally, I should wait for the landlord to return and properly vacate before committing suicide, but…

I had been diligently and patiently preparing for this day. Maybe, despite my age, I was getting a bit too excited. I just wanted to die. I couldn’t stop this urge, no matter what. I would be causing trouble to the landlord, but since I wasn’t planning to kill myself in this room, I wouldn’t lower the property’s value.

I left an apology letter for the landlord, placing it alone in the center of the empty room. The room was old, small, and cramped, but for a failure like me, it was like paradise.

“Thank you for everything.”

I bowed deeply to the empty room. That said, I hardly had time to relax here. When I moved in, I was swamped with cleanup and preparations. But thinking about dying brought forth this gratitude.

“Well, time to go.”

I slung the backpack over my shoulder and headed to the entrance. It wasn’t heavy, as it held little. Opening the door… I took one last look at the room, burning it into my memory. Then, I set off on a journey I’d never return from.

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There were many methods and places for suicide. For example, jumping in front of a train often made the news. That method likely had a high success rate. Well, it might be because only fatal cases were reported, but considering the major train delays it caused, the chance of survival was highly unlikely. 

Based on the news reports, most people who jumped in front of a train lost their lives, so it seemed perfect for someone like me who wanted to die for sure. However, it also caused immense trouble for others. Even avoiding rush hour, it would disrupt countless passengers, and I’d feel guilty for making railway workers clean up after my remains. So, I ruled out train suicide.

Next, I considered jumping from a height. With the right height and surface, it was almost certain to be instant death. But this, too, would cause trouble for others. I would feel bad, forcing someone to clean up a splattered body and the only places with sufficient height and hard surfaces—like apartments or skyscrapers—would lose value if I died there. Thus, jumping was out.

Then, I thought about charcoal-burning suicide. Creating a confined space, like a car, and filling it with toxic gas to die. But I couldn’t afford luxuries like a car. I didn’t even have the means to gather the necessary tools, so this was impossible too.

“So, it’s hanging, then…”

I muttered this while boarding the train. A nearby salaryman-like man glanced at me, startled.

Sorry, but don’t worry, I’m not planning to do it on the train.

Yes, I chose hanging as my method. It might still burden others with body disposal, but I thought choosing the right place could minimize that.

“…So peaceful.”

Looking out the train window, I saw sprawling rice fields and a tranquil landscape. The town I lived in wasn’t exactly urban, but it was a residential area covered in asphalt with apartments. Seeing greenery and earth felt refreshing after so long.

“Whoops, gotta get off…”

The announcement for my stop played, and I hurriedly stood. There weren’t many passengers, and now there were even fewer. I hadn’t zoned out like this in a while. I had been so busy… This calm moment felt nice, like a final peaceful time.

The train arrived, and I stepped off through the open door. No one else got off, and no one boarded at this unmanned station. It was quiet, devoid of human presence—a comfortable place.

“Well, then…”

Stepping outside, I stretched deeply. Inhaling, the clear air tickled my nostrils.

I don’t quite get the meaning of “delicious air,” but it’s definitely different from where I was. Is this what they mean?

“Alright, let’s do this.”

I pulled a map from my backpack. Normally, a smartphone map app would be easier, but I couldn’t afford such an expensive device. I only had enough for round-trip train fare, though I planned to only use a one-way ticket. I wouldn’t need to use the rest of my money for train fare.

“…Left, huh.”

Checking the map for my destination, I walked forward without hesitation. My destination was an unowned mountain.

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