A Story About How I Ran Away After Being Rejected By My First Love - Chapter 4

The library after school was a serene sanctuary that I consider. The atmosphere inside was hushed and the quiet hum of the air conditioner blended with the faint rustle of pages being turned by the few students studying. 

Only a few students remained at this point in time since most of the students either went home or had club activities. 

To be honest, I wanted to go home after not finding Kurozawa-san but the chances of bumping into my physical abusers were high. That’s why I decided to pass time here in the library. 

I went to the quiet corner, which was my usual spot. It was a location far from the entrance and hidden by rows of books. 

“Hello…”

A few moments after I started reading, I heard a low voice from a girl greeting me. It was so meek as to not disturb other students that I might have missed it if we weren’t in the library.

I flinched slightly, with my thoughts being pulled abruptly. However, I still managed to respond.

“Hi…”

“You’ve been gone for some time. Is everything okay?”

It is true that I visit the library everyday after school most of the time to pass time. It was also included in my plan to reform myself even a little. I wanted to see a little of how people interact with one another. 

“I am… okay.”

I managed to utter those words. Unfortunately, my voice lacked conviction.

And there goes my close-ended reply. Damn it, and I thought I learned a little.

“However, just know that you’re always welcome here. And… if there’s something on your mind, feel free to talk with me, I’m all ears.”

The girl said in a gentle tone. This was the first time I heard someone say that, especially to me.

Her words felt warm and sincere. Although I can’t see her eyes directly due to her thick glasses, I looked at her face to face for the first time. There was only kindness I could see. 

For a moment, I wanted to tell her everything that happened to me. The walls I built were starting to have cracks. I wanted to share with her about the delinquents and about how I felt with Kurozawa-san. 

However I was afraid and my mind was not ready.

“Thank you… I… I just need more time to think.”

The girl gave off a reassuring small smile that made the conversation lighter before saying.

“Take all the time you need. You can always find me here in the library.”

She turned to leave after saying those words. With those words, the library felt more safe with her presence being here.

I went home around closing time.

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The following day, I woke up early as usual. As usual, the streets were quieter than normal, since the day hadn’t started yet for some. Going to school early has a lot of advantages. 

First, the chances of running into the bullies would be minimal. Well, they probably skip classes for all I know or arrive later than usual. 

The second thing was as you were thinking – meeting Kurozawa-san. For some reason, today felt different. 

I made my way to school with cheery steps, my heart thumping steadily. 

As I approached the school, I caught a glimpse of a familiar figure. My heart recognized her. There was no mistaking it. 

I hadn’t seen her in a while and the familiar flutter of butterflies filled my stomach. 

I can vividly remember her expression as Kurozawa-san tended to me in the infirmary. The way she smiled at me was perfectly picturesque. Her smile was the most beautiful thing that I have seen in my life.

I hastened my steps to catch up to her, my steps filled with anticipation.

“Good… Good morning Kurozawa-san!”

I exclaimed loudly, my tone filled with excitement. 

Kurozawa-san turned upon hearing my voice. The turn lifted her hair slightly. It was perfect. I was mesmerized for a moment. My face was probably beet red right now.

“Ara, good morning, Aoyama-san. I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Yes!”

Thousands of words came swirling into my mind, but I could only utter that single word in response. The nervousness after seeing her for a long time creeped into me. However, it was an anxiety that felt calming and peaceful. 

“Are you all good now? Did the wound heal properly?”

“Yes…”

“You can always ask me to tend to your injuries. I’m good at that sort of thing.”

Kurozawa-san smiled kindly as she said those words.

Alone time again at the infirmary with Kurozawa-san was the best. However, I don’t want to have injuries. Maybe I’ll end up dead or paralyzed for all I know if that happened again. 

We walked random stuff as we walked through the quiet hallway. Our voices blended to the soft sounds of the morning. The world seemed to stop, as if God gave me this opportunity of peace. It was a rare space that I wouldn’t trade for anytime of the day.

But alas, time couldn’t be frozen as we approached the intersection that signified the end of this small world.

“I have fun talking to you, Aoyama-san.”

Kurozawa-san said as if to end our conversation. 

However, I wanted to talk to her more. I wanted to see her more often. I wanted to be someone special to her.

“Here.”

I took a deep breath and extended my hand in a 90 degree position as I handed out the handkerchief that she gave me before. 

Below it was a simple love letter that I poured my heart out writing. However, I wanted to convey my feelings to her personally. It only contained, “Meet me at the rooftop after school. I have something I wanted to talk to you about.”

My hands were sweating and my heartbeat raced even more. 

I couldn’t see Kurozawa-san’s expression. 

She picked up the handkerchief along with the love letter.

“Thank you for taking care of it. It’s actually an item that I treasure. Then, later Aoyama-san.”

She smiled sweetly as she spun towards the opposite direction. Kurozawa-san had a slightly blushing face before walking away.

I walked my way towards class in a dazed manner seeing a new side of Kurozawa-san.