A Story About a Suicidal Girl Who Attempted Suicide But Got Hindered, and Was Taken Out to Play - Chapter 1

Chapter 1: The girl who wants to die

The suicide of a certain girl was interfered with.

That girl was always alone.

That girl often tries to kill herself.

That girl somewhat resembles me.

Surely, just like me, living is just agony.

It might be better for the girl if I didn’t interfere.

But I will still keep on interfering with her until she gives up.

It’s not that hard to interfere with her suicide.

I’ll just go ahead to the scene of the suicide, and when the girl comes I’ll just bring her with me to play.

It was a sunny and calm day in April.

I was at the station platform that morning.

I was sitting on a bench near the back of the platform, as seen from the direction of the train that was about to pass.

It was the rush hour for school and work, and there were many students and businessmen waiting for the train around us.

A group of students who were not yet familiar with their uniforms were playing around. From their large uniform and young face, they must be freshmen who had just entered junior high school. Behind me was a group of three high school girls who were having a friendly discussion. Next to them were a couple of students exuding innocence.

I turned my gaze away from them by looking up, letting out a small sigh in the process.

I was dazzled to see them walking smoothly on the rails of life that had been laid out for them. I didn’t mean that I was dazzled by their youth.

Correct, I was envious that I couldn’t bear to watch them anymore.

The difference between me and them is like the difference between heaven and earth.

My school life, as you can see, was hopeless. I don’t have anyone I could call my friend and it wasn’t like I chose to be in solitude by my own volition.

If I was asked a question in an interview like “Tell me your most fun experience during your student days”, then I would have to ponder for a bit. I wouldn’t be jealous if all I could ponder were interesting memories. It was simply that I didn’t have a single nice memory, I was just thinking about how to cut through this situation.

There was a time when there is an exception but it’s just a negative mark in my history now.

Even if the me right now have the slightest bit of dissatisfaction with my student life, then I might still have some hope.

I sighed similar to those of a salaryman.

Although I graduated from high school, I did not go on to college, nor did I get a job. My life, which will turn 20 this year, had gone off the rails.

“How did my life turn out like this?”

I have always pondered the same question since my student days. However, no matter how long I ponder it, I always come to the same conclusion.

“To begin with, the chances of me living that kind of life were zero.”

It’s not that I made a wrong choice, it’s probably that my life has been derailed from the time I was born. I’m sure of that.

Only in video games can you get a happy ending despite making the wrong choice. This is the kind of life where no matter what you chose or select, there was no real choice to begin with.

Apparently I drew that kind of lottery in life.

No matter how I tried, my life was never going to be like the students and businessmen in front of me.

Besides, thinking about it now won’t do me any good. It’s already too late.

That’s why, I, myself, am still not sure how I could stop other people from killing themselves.

“I wonder how I can get her to give up on killing herself”, I thought to myself as I stared at the girl on the platform.

The girl in my line of sight is in the “further back” in the “waiting line at the very back door” of the “very back car”.

In other words, I’m standing by myself in a place where the train is passing by.

The girl is not there to see the train. She also wasn’t planning on taking a picture. In the first place, I never saw her with a camera or a mobile phone.

Why is she in a place like that?

I know the reason for that.

The train comes from the back of the platform. When passing through, the speed will remain fast, making it the most suitable place for a hypothetical suicide dive. Of course, no one would ever think that she would jump to her death just by looking at her from the side.

However, the girl in my line of sight is there to jump and kill herself.

Ichinose Tsukimi

She’s a third-year junior high school student, and she’s the girl I’m always trying to keep from killing herself. Long black hair that grew straight down her back. She has a slender body, a fair complexion, and a good-looking face. Because of her long legs, she looks a little taller and more mature than other girls her age. If she were in my class, I wouldn’t be surprised if she became popular among the boys.

Simply put, she is a child who does not seem to have anything to do with suicide.

The girl which does not seem to have anything to do with suicide, I’ve been watching her since morning to interfere with her suicide.

With her long, beautiful black hair, Ichinose had always attracted attention, but with so many people her age around her in school uniforms, she stood out even more than usual in her casual clothes. Even though she looks mature, her clothes still have a childlike quality to them.

It was easy to find her in the crowd, especially if they were in a position where a train was passing by.

As I’m watching out for her, an announcement begins that says a train is about to pass.

Ichinose is going to commit suicide by jumping into a passing train.

“There is a train coming. Please be careful.” was portrayed in the departure sign.

I got up from the bench and started to move behind Ichinose so that she wouldn’t notice me. She was watching the train coming towards the station and didn’t seem to notice me.

As the train approached, the noise became louder.

Ichinose started walking to the side of the track

I followed her carefully from behind. 

Just before the train was going to enter the platform, Ichinose crossed the yellow line. 

Shortly after that, the sound of a steam whistle reverberated.

It made me want to cover my ears.

The whistle cut off all the conversations on the platform, and it was as if time other than the train had stopped.

A train passed in front of me, roaring at a tremendous speed.

The wind pressure caused Ichinose’s long black hair to sway in the air.

The train passed by in a blink of an eye and the roar went away.

Ichinose looked at my face as she slowly traced the hand that was holding her arm.

The expression on Ichinose’s face when she saw me looked as if she wanted to protest..

As the roar faded into the distance, the conversation returned on the platform, as if time had begun to move again.

A group of male students laughed saying, “That scared the hell out of me” “You’re too scared,” “What? What? Is it a Suicide?” A group of high school girls looking at each other and saying, while a group of businessmen shouted saying, “If you want to commit suicide, do it somewhere else.”

I ignored their voices and stares. “That was close”, I laughed scornfully.

“Just a little more and I would’ve died.” Ichinose said sulkily as she grabbed my arm. I’m sure she’s sulking.

“Will you give up on committing suicide now for good?”

Ichinose looked at me as if she was tired of hearing it.

This isn’t the first time that she tried committing suicide.

In the past four months, she had attempted suicide twelve times so far, and each had been interrupted.

“This is the twelfth time I’ve saved your life. Now you know it doesn’t matter how many times you try.”

“You mean the number of times you interfered.”

Ichinose turned away and whispered, “Even though I keep telling you that you don’t have to save me”.

It has always been like this. She only thinks that her suicide was interrupted. I’m aware that I’m interfering with her, and she hates me more and more every time I do so.

“I definitely won’t give up”, She said in a strong tone as she shook off my hand that was still holding onto her. Then, she started walking alone as if to escape from this situation.

I kept on persuading her while following her all the while.

“I’m going to continue interrupting you until you decide to give up.”

“You can do as you wish…….”

“Yeah, I’m going to do it as many times as I have to.”

I smiled back at her almost sighing reply, and she asks me with a frustrated look on her face.

“……..Why do you always know how I’m going to act?”

I had been asked the same question several times before.

She wasn’t trying to kill herself at the same place or during a certain time. She probably thought it was weird how she was always being one-upped in her attempts.

“That question again huh. Let’s see…… I guess it’s about time for me to teach you.”

When I put my hand on her chin and gave her a serious look, Ichinose, who had not even made eye contact with me, stopped and looked at me. Perhaps it was because I usually replied with, “I’ll tell you when you stop trying to kill yourself” and didn’t give a serious answer, but this time my reply seemed unexpected to her.

I acted self-important and said, “That, you see…….”. She looked at me as if to say, “That is…..?”

It was unusual for her to bite so hard, as she usually has a curt attitude. I could see the sincerity in her clear eyes, but my answer was the same today.

“I’ll tell you when you stop killing yourself after all.”

When I said that, the admirable look she had on her face immediately disappeared.

With a cold look on her face, she said, “That’s enough. Goodbye”. She spat and started walking away again.

I sighed and followed her.

“Like I said, I’ll tell you when you decided to stop.”

I continued to persuade her, but she only walked faster and did not respond. As I followed Ichinose while trying not to lose sight of her, I took out a silver pocket watch from my pocket and checked the time.

“Come to think of it, have you found a place you wanted to go to?”

When I asked Ichinose from behind, she answered “There’s no such place.”

“You promised me you’d think of where you would want to go to next time.”

“I didn’t promise anything, and I couldn’t think of anywhere a person who is going to die soon would like to go to.”

“Haah…….There must be any place, right? Like the last place you wanted to go to or something?”

When I was taken aback by her clear attitude, she conversely asked, “What if there is somewhere I would like to go to? What would you do?”

“I’ll bring you there”, I replied.

Ichinose pondered for a while and then faced me.

“Then, I want to go to heaven. Please take me there.”

　She had a frown on her face, mixed with a smile, which made her seem much brighter than she usually was, and innocent enough for her age.

I was caught off guard and was at a loss for words when she said, “I told you where I wanted to go, now give me something.” while grumping.

“Are you planning to make me a murderer?”

“If I can’t go to that place then I’m going home.”

I hurriedly grabbed Ichinose’s hand as she was about to walk away.

I can’t leave her alone like this.

I didn’t tell her this but, there are certain times in the day when I cannot interrupt her suicide attempt.

It was primarily because I couldn’t deal with her if she tried to commit suicide immediately after an attempt.

And that’s exactly why I need to take her to somewhere to play right after I interfered with her.

“…….Please let go.”

“It would be a problem if I’m not with you for another 2 hours.”

“I don’t get what you are saying.”

“You don’t want to go home anyway right?”

It seems like I hit the mark, Ichinose turned her head and became silent.

I can somehow tell that she doesn’t want to go home from her actions.

When I first met Ichinose, she was wary of me and wouldn’t even listen.

When I chased her at the time, she was sitting at a swing in the park while looking at the river with a blank daze and passed the time until it was dusk.

She seems to have very little money on her, and I had seen her count the amount of pocket change she had in front of the vending machine.

I couldn’t stand watching her drink water from the faucet in the park, so I bought her a can of juice, and we started talking, and then I repeatedly took her to a diner, and we finally went somewhere after I interrupted her suicide.

However, she is very cranky right after I interrupted her suicide, so I need to carefully persuade her.

“Where do you want to go today?”

“……..As I’ve said before, I don’t have any place I want to go to.”

She responded in a sulky way, but it wasn’t a bad response.

If she really didn’t want to go then she would have bluntly refused me or ignored me entirely.

This is how our exchange usually looks until now.

She never followed me obediently but, if she followed me then she would not have to worry about lunch, so it doesn’t seem like she’s entirely opposed to it.

“Are we just going to wander around somewhere randomly today?”

I pulled Ichinose’s hand, who was lying on the ground, gave a small affirmation and she followed behind.

This is how I always interrupted her suicide attempt.

But, no matter how many times I interfered, she still won’t give up on it.

Several weeks later, or even several days later she would decide to kill herself again.

I was planning on interfering with her no matter how many times it takes for her to stop planning on killing herself but, there is one problem.

That problem is, I don’t have that much time left.

It’s not like I’m suffering from any serious illness.

I got this watch in exchange for my lifespan.

Of course, It’s not a normal watch.

It’s a watch that can rewind time.