A Story About a Girl Who Took Life for Granted and Fell in Love With a Kind and Introverted Boy - Chapter 26

…The play ended without any problems, and I finally felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders.

At our school’s festival, the events are structured so that performances happen in the morning, while stalls and other exhibits open up in the afternoon. So even after my class’s performance, other classes continued with their plays and musical performances. Sitting in one of the many foldable chairs set up on the gym floor, we all watched—students, their families, everyone.

But once my tension snapped, I didn’t have the energy to watch anything. Leaning back against the chair, I ended up dozing off for most of the morning.

“…That concludes the stage performances. Thank you to everyone involved.”

That announcement woke me up.

(Oh no… I missed the whole thing.)

I couldn’t help it after all those nights of barely any sleep, but still, thinking about everyone who worked so hard on their performances, just like I had, made me feel a little guilty.

Last year, I hadn’t cared about that at all—I would just ignore the performances, fiddling with my phone or chatting with friends. It surprised me to realize how much I’d changed.

“We’ll now take a lunch break. The afternoon activities will begin at 1:00.”

At that announcement, everyone stood up at once, heading off toward their class groups or families.

“Hey, where are we eating lunch?”

“Mom, you didn’t see my phone, did you?”

“Rei, great job on stage! You were amazing!”

Amid the bustling sounds around me, I took a deep breath and walked slowly toward Kenji.

It was finally time to apologize to him about that fake confession. This would be our last conversation…

“…Um, Saito?”

My hands were trembling as I clenched them into fists. Nervously, I called out to him, and he quickly turned to me.

“Tashiro! You did a great job!”

He flashed me the kindest smile, catching me completely off guard.

“Huh? Uh, th-thank you…”

I was so surprised that, instead of feeling happy or sad, I just found myself wondering, “Why is he smiling at me like this?”

After we broke up, he never smiled at me like this again. So why now…?

(…Well, I guess it makes sense. Kenji must be feeling relieved after finishing such a huge role as the lead in the play.)

I figured his smile wasn’t because he had any kind of feelings for me, but simply because he was in a good mood, feeling at ease.

“So, um, sorry, Saito. Like I said before, could you spare a bit of time? There’s something I want to talk about…”

“Actually, I wanted to talk to you too.”

“Huh? You too, Ken—Saito?”

“Yeah. But of course, we can talk about your thing first.”

“O-okay…”

What? What could he want to talk about? The play is over, so… I have no idea what this could be about.

“So, Tashiro, should we go somewhere else?”

“Ah, yeah… If possible, somewhere with fewer people around…”

Just as I was saying that, my vision wobbled, and my knees felt weak.

I accidentally leaned onto Kenji’s chest.

“Tashiro?”

“Sorry, Saito… I just felt a bit dizzy…”

Not wanting to bother him, I tried to straighten up, but my vision stayed blurry. My head felt warm, and I felt a bit nauseous.

“You sure you’re okay? You don’t look well.”

“I-I’m fine, really… I think I’m just tired…”

“But you feel warm, like you have a fever. You should go to the nurse’s office.”

“I-I don’t think it’s that bad… probably.”

“Tashiro.”

Kenji put his hands on my shoulders, looking right into my eyes. His gaze made my heart race.

“Please, take better care of yourself.”

“…”

“Come on, let’s go to the nurse’s office. Even if it’s nothing serious, you should check your temperature, just in case.”

“…Alright.”

I gave in to Kenji’s insistence, and together we headed to the nurse’s office.

It reminded me of when I once took Kenji to the nurse’s office. Now, it was the other way around.

On the way, he kept asking, “How are you feeling?” and “Do you have a headache?”—constantly worried about me.

(Why… why is he being so kind to me?)

It almost felt like we were back together.

“…Excuse me, can we check her temperature?”

As we entered the nurse’s office, Kenji explained to the nurse.

“Oh, what’s wrong?”

“I think she might not be feeling well. Could you check on her?”

“Of course. Here, take a seat.”

The nurse guided me to a chair. As soon as I sat down, I felt a bit more comfortable than when I was standing.

“Yes, you do look pale… Let’s check your temperature… Oh! It’s 38 degrees!”

Seeing my temperature on the thermometer, the nurse spoke up in surprise.

“Lie down on the bed. And you should probably go home for the day.”

“Huh…”

“With the flu going around, it’s better to see a doctor and rest properly. Do you have your parents’ number? I’ll call them and ask them to pick you up.”

“…”

All I could think about was apologizing to Kenji as soon as possible, but honestly, I did feel pretty terrible.

“Just rest, Tashiro.”

Kenji’s words were gentle.

“I know it’s hard to miss the festival, but you don’t want to make it worse…”

“Saito…”

I stayed silent for a bit, but as my head started to ache, I finally answered, “Alright,” and lay down on the bed.

After giving me an ice pillow, the nurse called my parents.

“Yes, your daughter has a fever. Could you please come pick her up…”

Even though I could still hear her voice from within the same room, it felt distant.

“Do you need anything, Tashiro?”

Kenji had taken a seat on a nearby stool and was looking at me with concern.

“Not really… nothing right now.”

“Alright, just let me know if you need anything.”

“…Okay.”

“Even so, to think you’d come down with such a high fever. Did you push yourself too hard as Campanella?”

“Well, it’s just… we didn’t have much time before the show, and I didn’t want to be a burden to you and everyone else.”

“I see, I see.”

“……………………”

“Hey, Tashiro.”

“What…?”

Kenji smiled softly from the other side of my blurry vision.

“Thank you for all your hard work.”

“……………………”

“Thank you for becoming Campanella.”

“……………………”

I…

Hearing those words made me feel like I was about to cry. Kenji’s words, so gentle, felt like they were squeezing my heart.

(Please stop… Kenji…)

My already blurry vision grew even hazier with tears. I clenched the hand resting on top of the blanket, causing the fabric to wrinkle and make a soft sound.

(Please… don’t be any kinder to me. If you keep being this nice… I… I won’t…)

───I won’t be able to say goodbye.

(My resolve will waver. My decision to let go of Kenji and let him find happiness with Miyuki… it’ll falter.)

I was so sure, so certain.

I made up my mind, from the bottom of my heart.

Ah, Kenji.

Kenji.

Kenji…

“……………………”

…The quiet of the nurse’s office was interrupted by the rattling sound of the door opening. It was my mom coming in.

“Hello, I’m Kana Tashiro’s mother.”

The teacher responded with a “Hello” in return.

“Um, where’s Kana?”

“She’s right here, resting in bed.”

Hearing this, Mom looked over in my direction.

“Mom…”

She frowned with concern at the sight of me slowly trying to sit up.

“You look worse than I expected.”

“Sorry for causing trouble…”

“It’s fine. You don’t seem fit to go home by yourself.”

Mom extended a hand toward me. Taking it, I carefully climbed out of bed and stood unsteadily.

“Tashiro, do you want me to help, too?”

“N-No, it’s okay, Saito…”

With Mom holding my hand, I took small steps toward the door of the nurse’s office.

“Thank you for looking after her,” Mom said, bowing her head to the teacher. I followed her lead, bowing just a bit after she did.

The teacher waved us off with a friendly “Take care!”

“Are you Kana’s friend? Have you been taking care of her?” Mom asked, turning to Kenji. Kenji responded with a nervous smile, shrugging a bit.

“Y-Yes, I was.”

“Thank you; I’m sure Kana appreciated it.”

“N-No, not at all,” he stammered.

“Come on, Kana. Say thank you properly.”

“……………………”

Urged by Mom, I looked at Kenji’s face once more.

His eyes met mine directly.

…Ah.

I love you, Kenji.

I really, really love you.

If I could, I’d hug you right now. I’d hold you tight, and then, I’d kiss you.

I’d say “I love you” over and over, just to see you get embarrassed every time.

“……………………”

But in the end, I couldn’t act on any of these thoughts.

Partly because of the teacher and my mom being here, but mostly… because I was afraid Kenji wouldn’t feel the same.

Kenji was kind, but that didn’t mean he still felt for me the way he did when we were together.

So, keeping all those feelings inside, I whispered a small “Thank you.”

Kenji smiled his usual warm smile and replied, “See you later, Tashiro.”

“……………………”

I nodded silently and left the nurse’s office.

“Thank you, excuse us,” Mom said as she closed the door with a rattle. Holding her hand, I walked down the silent hallway.

“……………………”

Several times, I glanced back toward the nurse’s office. The further we walked, the harder it was to make out the letters on the door, and that made my heart ache.

…In that moment.

Why didn’t I say I loved him?

I’m such a fool.

It didn’t matter that my mom and teacher were there.

It didn’t matter if I didn’t know how Kenji felt.

Why… why couldn’t I…

This one moment in the nurse’s office…

Not telling Kenji I loved him then and there would become my life’s biggest regret.