A Story About a Girl Who Took Life for Granted and Fell in Love With a Kind and Introverted Boy

Please, God.

Look at my heart.

Please, do not let me throw my life away in vain, and for the sake of everyone’s true happiness, please use my body.

“…I’m home.”

I arrived home around 9:00 PM, already late in the evening.

Lately, because of preparations for the play and other things, I’ve been coming home at times like this. I probably get home later than anyone else in the family.

(Hah, I’m so hungry.)

I decided to have dinner right away and, still in my uniform, I headed towards the dining table.
Since it was already this late, I thought no one would be there, but I was wrong—Miyuki was eating stew alone.

Like me, Miyuki was still in her sailor uniform, so she must have just gotten home from school.

“…Oh, welcome home. Big sis.”

When Miyuki noticed I was back, she spoke in a small voice. I replied, “I’m home,” in the same quiet voice.

I went to the kitchen, served the stew from the pot onto a plate, and brought it to the table. I sat across from Miyuki and started eating.

“……”

The only sound in the room was the clinking of spoons against plates.

Miyuki and I hadn’t really been talking much lately. Well, if you asked if we were talking often before, I would say not really, but it felt like we were becoming even more distant.

We hadn’t really spoken to each other lately, especially after Miyuki started asking Kenji for help with her studies. I’m pretty sure we hadn’t said much since then.

“…Big sis.”

Just when I was thinking about all this, Miyuki spoke unexpectedly.

I didn’t look up from my stew and replied, “What?”

“Your returns are getting later these days. What are you doing?”

“…Preparing for the cultural festival.”

“Cultural festival?”

“Yeah, our class is putting on a play. The performance is this Saturday, so it’s almost time for the final stretch.”

“…I see.”

“……”

“I thought you were on a date or something.”

“A date?”

“Yeah.”

“What? What do you mean? Were you on a date with Kenji?”

“No way. Not with Kenji.”

“……”

“I just thought maybe you had a new boyfriend, that’s all.”

I quietly set my spoon down.

I stared at the steam rising from the stew, furrowing my brow.

“…What about you, Miyuki?”

“Huh?”

“You were late today too. What were you doing?”

“I was at cram school. Of course, I am. It’s the time before exams.”

“…I see. Right.”

I deliberately spoke in a curt tone at that moment.

“Alright! The person who answers this question correctly will be entered into a lottery for a luxurious prize!”

From somewhere nearby, I faintly heard the sound of a TV. It was probably coming from the house next door.

Despite the atmosphere here, the voice from the TV was full of energy.

“…Why don’t you just give up already, big sis?”

When I heard Miyuki’s words, I finally looked up.

It seemed like Miyuki looked up at the same time, and our eyes met at the exact same moment.

“You know it’s impossible, right? You can’t be with Kenji.”

“……”

“You understand that, don’t you? So just give up already. You’re popular, big sis. You don’t need to keep holding on to Kenji.”

Miyuki’s eyes were unusually cold. She seemed genuinely fed up, and I could also see what looked like anger in her gaze.

“……”

I knew exactly what Miyuki was saying. I knew as well as she did that no matter how much I cared about him, it wouldn’t reach him.

Even so, I said to her after taking a deep breath several times,

“Don’t say it’s easy to just give up…”

“……”

I could tell my voice was trembling.

Whether it was from anger or from the pain of my heart breaking, I couldn’t tell.

“……”

Miyuki looked surprised for just a moment but soon returned to her usual blank expression, lowering her gaze.

“…Thanks for the meal.”

After that, Miyuki took her empty plate to the kitchen and immediately went back to her room.

“……”

I turned my gaze back to the stew and put my spoon in my mouth.

The stew, which had completely cooled, seemed to have no taste at all.

After finishing my meal, I washed the dishes and headed to my room.

I took out the script for the play from my school bag and, lying on my bed, I looked at it.

(Since today is over, there are only two days left until the performance…I need to practice my acting more and more before then.)

Since I suddenly took over the role before the performance, I could probably make excuses if my acting is a little rough, but…I still want to do my best.

“I want to be Campanella.”

“……”

I remembered when I volunteered this morning. It was so sudden that before I knew it, my hand was up.

I don’t know how Kenji feels about me. Honestly, it’s really scary. But even so, I didn’t want to miss this opportunity.

(Still, how can I get better at acting?)

Clearly, I’m the only one whose acting stands out in a bad way. If a minor character stands out, it’s still okay, but if the lead role, Giovanni, and I stand out, that’s a serious problem.

I really need to figure out how to improve my acting…because Night on the Galactic Railroad is Kenji’s favorite work.

(…Oh, that’s right. Kenji.)

I closed the script for a moment and stared blankly at the white ceiling.

(Kenji was also suddenly chosen to play Giovanni like me, but his acting was perfect…I should ask him for tips.)

Thinking this, I took my phone out of my skirt pocket and opened Kenji’s contact information.

“……”

I nervously swallowed and, hesitantly…called Kenji.

Ring, ring, ring…

“Hello?”

After the ringtone rang for a while, I finally heard Kenji’s voice on the other end.

“Uh, sorry, Saito. Are you okay right now?”

“Yeah, what’s up?”

Kenji’s voice sounded colder than usual, maybe because I couldn’t see his face.

“Um, I’m still not very good at acting in the play, and it’s been bothering me a bit…”

“Well, that’s normal. You just started playing Campanella today.”

“Yeah, but the performance is coming up soon, and I really want to get better. So, if you don’t mind, could you give me some tips on acting…?”

“Me?”

“Y-yes.”

“Wouldn’t it be better to ask the person who played Campanella before you?”

“Ah, no…um…”

I couldn’t respond well here. It was true that I called to ask for advice on acting, but the real reason was something else.

I wanted to talk to Kenji. I wanted to be with him, even if it was for some reason.

That’s why I asked him about acting. But when he suggested asking someone else, I couldn’t answer.

“Well, you were also chosen for Giovanni today, just like me, and you’re really good at acting. So, I thought maybe you’re good at acting or something…”

“……………………..”

“And I think you probably know the most about Night on the Galactic Railroad, so I thought learning from you might help me improve.”

“……………………..”

Kenji was silent for a long time, and that made me really scared. My mouth was dry, and I clenched my hands together tightly.

My clothes wrinkled from the pressure.

“Okay, I’ll teach you.”

“Huh?”

“If you don’t mind me, I’ll teach you.”

“Really!? Thank you!!”

I was so relieved and happy that I almost shouted. My hands finally loosened.

“As I’ve said before, I love Night on the Galactic Railroad and have read it many times. I connected with Giovanni and immersed myself in the story. I think that’s why my acting is going well.”

“Yeah, I understand that.”

“So, to improve your acting as Campanella, you need to understand Campanella better.”

“Understand Campanella?”

“Yeah. If you can truly empathize with Campanella, I think you’ll be able to act better.”

“I see…”

“So, how do you think Campanella is?”

“Campanella…hmmm…”

I pouted as I thought about Campanella.

To Giovanni, who was bullied and lonely, Campanella was his only friend.

Even when the class made fun of Giovanni, only Campanella never said anything bad about him.

Campanella was always considerate. For example, if someone nearby needed help, he would silently offer assistance.

And in the end, he sacrificed himself, jumping into the river to save a classmate who was drowning.

“Um, he’s a kind…person?”

I said the first words that came to mind.

Kenji said, “Yeah,” and added more.

“Campanella is kind. But do you understand the essence of that kindness?”

“Essence of kindness?”

“Yes. There are many kinds of kindness. What happens to Campanella in the final scene?”

“Um…he dies in place of his drowning friend to save him.”

“Exactly. He tries to save someone, even if it means sacrificing himself. That’s the essence of Campanella’s kindness.”

“I see…”

“This self-sacrifice is a very important element of Night on the Galactic Railroad.”

“I understand…”

“To dedicate yourself for someone you care about, for their true happiness. If you can relate to this, you might find it easier to empathize with Campanella.”

“………………..”

“How is it? Did that help?”

“Ah, yes! Thank you, Saito.”

“I’m glad to hear that.”

“Sorry for calling you so late.”

“It’s okay. I was…”

“…What? You were what?”

“…Oh, never mind.”

“………………..”

“Well, I guess we’re good here, right?”

“Yeah, you’re right. Thanks, Saito.”

“Yeah.”

“Let’s do our best tomorrow too.”

“Yeah.”

“Okay…good night.”

“Yeah, good night.”

With that, the phone call with Kenji ended.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.

“Empathy…”

“To dedicate yourself for someone you care about, for their true happiness. If you can relate to this, you might find it easier to empathize with Campanella.”

“Someone I care about…”

At this point, there’s only Kenji for me.

If Kenji is happy, I’ll be happy too. I want his kind smile to never fade.

“………………..”

To sacrifice myself.

That word kept echoing in my head.