A Story About a Girl Who Took Life for Granted and Fell in Love With a Kind and Introverted Boy - Chapter 15

…I don’t feel like doing anything.

Honestly, I feel emptier than I did even before summer break started…like a hollow shell.

The hardest part is walking home alone, right after school ends.

If Kenji and I were still together, we’d definitely be going home together right now. We’d be side by side, chatting aimlessly, probably laughing.

“Hey, Kana, where should we go this Sunday?”

…I can vividly imagine Kenji’s face as he smiles next to me.

Holding my aching chest, once again, I’m alone.

—

…Shhhhhhh

After coming home from school, I went straight to take a shower. It’s still hot from summer, and by the time I get home, I’m drenched in sweat.

Standing under the water, I wash my hair, rinsing out the lathered shampoo.

My hair, reaching down to my shoulder blades, sticks to the back of my neck.

“……………………”

After washing my hair, I turn off the shower. Droplets from my hair drip down in front of me.

I press my palm against the fogged glass, sliding it to the right to clear it.

My face, looking haggard and like I’m about to cry, reflects back at me.

“……………………”

The cheek that Miyuki slapped yesterday is still a little red.

The pain should be gone by now, but I can still feel the impact and shock of the slap, lingering on my cheek.

(…Miyuki)

When I close my eyes, I see Miyuki and Kenji walking side by side in my mind.

The serious Miyuki…she likes Kenji so much that she felt the need to slap me. So, she’ll probably get closer to Kenji, build a good connection with him…

And then…

“……………………”

…I twist the faucet hard, letting the shower blast out.

Shhhhhhhhhh!!

The hot water hits my skin and scalp so intensely it hurts, and I squeeze my eyes shut as it pours over me.

I wish this shower could wash away everything inside me.

—

…The next day. Feeling heavy-hearted, I head to school again.

I might as well just skip, but I can’t. The old me would’ve ditched without a second thought…but now, I feel like I can’t.

If I did, I wouldn’t be able to face Kenji.

If I go back to being my careless self, it feels like all the things Kenji gave me would end up meaningless. So, I want to live even a bit more sincerely.

…Of course, not like Kenji would praise me for that or anything.

“Morning, Tashiro!”

“Tashiro, good morning!”

As I enter the classroom, classmates greet me. I return a “Morning” in the lowest tone possible and go to my seat.

At that moment, Mayu and Arisa come in right after me. When I glance their way, they flinch and quickly retreat to their seats, as if to avoid me.

Since that day, things haven’t been going well between me and not just Kenji but also these two. I’m the one who started distancing myself from them.

It was, of course, my choice to go along with the dare to confess to Kenji. So in that respect, it’s definitely my fault. But…I still couldn’t forgive them for mocking the memories Kenji and I shared.

“Oh wow! You two look like a real couple!”

“That’s impressive, Kana! Maybe you’ll be an actress someday?”

If only I had stopped them sooner…I keep thinking that, over and over.

The shock of Kenji finding out it was a dare left me frozen. But if I’d stopped Mayu and Arisa immediately, maybe Kenji wouldn’t have been hurt so deeply.

There’s no point in thinking about it now, but I just can’t help it.

—

…Before lunch that day, we had P.E.

Today’s class was mostly endurance running, circling the track for about five kilometers in the hot sun.

“Ahh, this is such a pain!”

“Endurance running is the worst!”

My classmates complained, but the teacher just said, “Less talking, more running.”

It felt like a drag, but I ran around the track quietly by myself.

“……………………”

As I ran, I occasionally passed by Kenji. I was faster, so each time I completed a lap, I overtook him.

Kenji, breathless and drenched in sweat, glanced at me when he noticed my gaze, only to quickly avert his eyes. This little exchange happened a few times.

“…Whew.”

I finished relatively early, caught my breath, and walked over to the spot where others who had finished gathered.

I didn’t talk to anyone in particular; I just sat on the ground, watching everyone else run.

One by one, people began finishing.

But Kenji kept running. He looked pale, clearly struggling.

(I wonder if Kenji’s okay…)

I wanted to help him somehow, but there’s not much I can do in an endurance run. I can only watch.

…And besides, even if I tried to help, Kenji probably wouldn’t appreciate it. So…

“……………………”

I kept these feelings to myself…and then it happened.

“Oh!”

I let out a gasp without meaning to.

Kenji had collapsed while running.

I immediately stood up, ready to run to him. But…a small group of people was already gathering around him.

“You okay, Saito?”

“S-sorry…”

A teacher asked him, and Kenji somehow managed to stand up, trembling as he got to his feet.

But his legs were still shaky, and his face looked flushed.

“Saito, how are you feeling?”

“M-my head feels a little hazy.”

“Could be heatstroke. Alright, any health committee members here?”

“Yes, that’s me.”

At the teacher’s words, a girl standing nearby raised her hand.

“Please take Saito to the nurse’s office.”

“I understand.”

The girl who ran up to him gently spoke to Kenji while supporting his shoulder.

“Are you okay? Saito-kun?”

“I’m s-sorry…for causing trouble.”

“It’s fine, it’s fine. Let’s walk slowly. Oh, I just finished running, so I might smell a bit sweaty. Sorry!”

“N-no…I don’t mind that. Thank you.”

Then, the two of them walked to the nurse’s office, their bodies close together.

“……………………”

I…I never touched Kenji that much even when we were dating.

Because Kenji is shy, whenever I tried to get close, he would always blush and pull away.

That shy side of Kenji is cute, and I always…

“…………Ah, um! Wait a minute!”

At that moment, I called out to the backs of the two heading to the nurse’s office.

“What is it? Tashiro-san?”

The girl turned toward me. I swallowed hard and said, “I’ll go instead!”

“I finished running a while ago, so I’m still full of energy.”

“Really? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, so I can help Kenji…”

“Got it, then please.”

So, I lent my shoulder to Kenji in place of that girl.

“Tashiro-san…?”

“Sorry, Kenji, I…couldn’t hold back.”

“Hold back…?”

“……………………”

I almost said that I couldn’t hold back seeing another girl touch Kenji, but I stopped myself.

When I glanced back, all my classmates on the field were watching us.

I felt a bit scared and turned my gaze back to the front.

…As we carried Kenji to the nurse’s office, we didn’t talk at all.

I didn’t know what to say, and it felt like I shouldn’t talk about anything, so I couldn’t open my mouth.

“……………………”

The faint scent unique to Kenji tickled my nose along with the smell of sweat.

Smelling that scent made me feel so strongly that Kenji was right next to me.

Now that I think about it, we hadn’t even kissed yet.

“U-uh…”

Kenji groaned softly in pain, so I stopped for a moment.

“Are you okay? Kenji?”

“Y-yeah…sorry, Tashiro-san.”

“No, it’s fine. For Kenji, I can handle this much.”

“……………………”

At that moment, Kenji looked very sad. I instinctively thought, “I shouldn’t have said that.”

I felt it was wrong to say something that would make Kenji uncomfortable.

But…it also felt strange to apologize now, so in the end, we walked in silence again.

…When we arrived at the nurse’s office, the teacher was there. I told her about Kenji’s condition as she cheerfully asked, “What happened?”

“It seems like heat stroke, so can I borrow a bed?”

“Oh my, really? Of course, that’s fine.”

“See, Kenji? We’ve arrived at the nurse’s office.”

“…Yeah.”

Kenji looked down and said to me, “I can manage on my own now.”

“……………………”

While we were together, he never once looked me in the eye. He kept his head down, only looking at his feet.

Feeling lonely, I thought it was understandable and tried to step away from Kenji when…

He lightly grabbed my right hand.

“…!”

To be precise, Kenji was lightly holding my index and middle fingers just above the second knuckle.

If he wanted to, he could easily pull away, but I had no intention of moving my hand at all.

My heart was pounding uncontrollably. I wanted to ask, “What’s wrong? Why are you holding my fingers?” but I felt that if I spoke, this moment would instantly break apart.

“……………………”

“……………………”

Neither Kenji nor I spoke. We just stared into each other’s eyes.

His eyes held various emotions. They seemed sad, angry, and just a little…happy.

“……………………”

I think Kenji held my hand for about ten seconds.

Even so, it felt like that moment lasted for many minutes.

When he let go of my hand, I was left feeling reluctant and wanted to reach out to hold his hand back, but I managed to hold myself back.

Then Kenji entered the nurse’s office, and I returned to the field alone.

“……………………”

The sound of my footsteps echoed down the empty hallway.

In that empty hallway, I softly kissed the tips of my fingers where Kenji had touched me…

The ache in my chest felt even stronger than before.