A Man Who Lost Confidence, to a Gentle Chastity-Reversed World

Chapter 65: Heavy Feelings, Embraced

I move the light to explore our surroundings. According to Yukari-san, shining it on certain spots triggers reactions.

Sure enough, when I point the light at a French doll, it leaps vertically—a bit humorous but still creepy in the dark.

“The first half is like this, with lots of reactive spots… The second half, as I mentioned, turns into a roller coaster…” Yukari-san explains.

This attraction starts slow, speeding up later. She’s even worried I might get scared. I don’t know how intense it’ll be, but since I said I’d follow her lead, I have no intention of refusing her recommendation.

Various effects play out: loud noises from the hallway’s depths, a light bulb shattering with a pop. It’s not just a simple haunted house—it’s a sophisticated system.

We each have a light, but Yukari-san, likely used to this ride, barely uses hers. She occasionally gives me advice, watching me. I worry if she’s enjoying herself.

“S-Soon, we’ll enter the second half… P-Please hold the handrail…” she says.

The atmosphere grows eerie, and the car’s speed increases. The light locks in place, then goes out with a snap.

Experienced riders might not need the handrail, but I’m a novice. My only recent roller coaster experience was at another amusement park. So, in the dark, I grip the handrail as told.

The ride depicts a family’s tragic incident, accelerating toward an escape scene, becoming a full-fledged roller coaster. It’s well-crafted, blending story and speed.

Despite my critic-like thoughts, I’m scared by the pace and atmosphere. Even with my near-thirty mentality, I’m not used to this.

As I clutch the handrail, a warm sensation covers my right hand. “…!” I glance over, startled, but it’s too dark to see Yukari-san’s face.

She’s familiar with this ride, so she shouldn’t be scared. I know roller coasters are more thrilling with hands free, but her hand stays on mine until the car stops.

Exiting the ride, Yukari-san, head lowered, apologizes. “I-I’m so sorry… I did something selfish… It looked like you were gripping the handrail tightly…”

I don’t think it’s selfish at all. I was holding on hard out of fear, and her noticing that in the dark shows how attentive she is.

“…Th-Thank you… That helped…” I say, feeling my poor communication skills. But she smiles at me.

“…Thank you, too… for not pulling away…”

She glances between her left hand and my right, which I’m letting hang limply.

“…W-Would it be okay… to hold hands again?” she asks, not seeming to tease me.

“…Y-You don’t need my permission… Whenever you want…” I reply.

With a “…Y-Yes!” she takes my right hand with her left, her grip slightly firmer than before.

Is it okay for me to act like a lover like this? I worry about it with Asagi-san and Maki-san, too. Only a cool, confident guy could say, “Hold my hand anytime.” Not me.

Yet my girlfriends and Yukari-san don’t mind holding my hand—her soft touch feels stronger each time.

“…Shun-sama, if you ever dislike it, please tell me…?” she says, her face flushed.

Isn’t she the one who might dislike being seen with me? “…Th-Thank you… Same here…” I manage.

She looks down, pulling my hand, and I can’t take the lead.

Throughout the day, she holds my hand while moving between attractions. I worry she feels obligated as a housekeeper, but saying so might make things awkward, which scares me.

She buys churros and popcorn, watching me eat. “I’m fine…” she says, but I feel guilty eating alone. Offering her a bite is beyond someone like me.

Each time I check on her, she looks away. I don’t know what to do, so we continue snacking.

In the afternoon, we watch a show on a large stage and visit milder attractions. The park’s Easter event brings themed shows and photo spots.

At each photo spot, Yukari-san hesitantly asks, “…Um…?” to take a picture. I don’t mind, but half the time, her soft parts brush against me. I wonder why she doesn’t ask staff to take them, feeling her softness and scent while worrying my excitement is noticeable.

“How about lunch…?” she suggests around 3 p.m. After the bakery and snacks, the late hour doesn’t feel odd. Her choice of a curry restaurant, likely less crowded now, shows her consideration.

“This place has lots of seats, great for spending time with friends…” she says, taking my order after asking my preferences. Curry’s appeal remains unchanged in this world.

“…But, Shun-sama, you didn’t used to like heavy dishes like katsu curry…” she says, puzzled.

In this world, men resemble women from my old world, avoiding heavy foods like fried items. “…Y-Yeah, I didn’t before… But lately, I’ve been craving meat…”

I’ve always liked meat and oil as an adult man, unchanged here. Yukari-san’s cooking is so good I never needed to mention preferences.

“I-I see… If you tell me, I can adjust the menu…” she says, looking thoughtful.

I don’t want to seem critical. “S-Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that… Y-Your cooking is always delicious, and I’m grateful…”

“My preferences don’t matter… You can cook what you want, or for Mom and Yuki…” I add.

She softens, smiling. “…Kaori-sama and Yuki-sama said something similar recently… to prioritize you and me… A family that cares for each other, without burdening me… I’m truly blessed to be here…”

Smiling, she seems less tense, urging me to eat. We enjoy our late lunch, occasionally talking about Mom and Yuki.

“…I don’t know if it’s okay to ask, but… you’ve gotten closer to Yuki-sama these past few months, haven’t you?” she says, looking at our empty curry plates.

“You didn’t fight before, but… there seemed to be some distance…” she adds, apologizing for being rude.

I’m not upset—she’s concerned about our dynamic as a housekeeper. “…Since starting high school… I’ve been talking more with Yuki, Mom, and classmates… Maybe my mindset’s changed…”

She asked with resolve, a bold move for a housekeeper. I wanted to talk openly with her today, as Mom encouraged and as I feel myself.

I don’t know my pre-high school mindset, so I share my current feelings. “…With everyone being so kind… I feel I shouldn’t act arrogant… I’m still not proper, though.”

I just don’t want to disgust the women around me. That used to feel like a luxury, but their kindness has pushed me forward slightly.

“N-No, you were never arrogant… Just a bit distant from women… Maybe you heard things from friends…” she says.

“Kaori-sama was a bit worried… When boys gather, they often talk about fearing women, and it’s hard to stop…”

It’s like girls in my old world labeling boys as “always thinking dirty thoughts.” “…But now, you smile at women and are even kinder… That’s rare, even for grown men…”

Her voice trails off, but her words thrill me. I’m still far from composed. “…Thank you… But I think I’m a burden to everyone…”

“Y-You don’t need to think that…! Kaori-sama, Yuki-sama, Sasai-san, Yamamoto-san… they’re all happy spending time with you…!” she says, then mumbles, looking at me.

She might want to say more, but I have no right to pry. “S-Sorry for overstepping…” she says as we leave. Their kind words melt my heart.

By evening, the sun tilts. Hesitantly, Yukari-san takes my right hand again. “…If you ever dislike it, please say so…?” she asks, for the umpteenth time.

“It’s fine,” I reply. Her palm feels slightly sweaty each time.

She chooses a calm indoor attraction—a boat ride following a girl’s growth with music. Such rides are busy earlier but quieter in the evening. We board a ten-person boat after a short wait, alone since the group behind us—about eight high school girls—takes another.

“…It’s about a shy girl who gains magic powers to face challenges…” Yukari-san explains.

Beside her, I’m drawn into the story of a girl, isolated from peers, visited by a wizard who grants courage-giving magic, helping her bond with others. As she makes friends, the wizard speaks…

“The only time I used my power was the first spell. Everything else… was your own courage,” the wizard says, vanishing.

The girl, now able to communicate without magic, expands her world.

The girl’s early struggles mirror my own in my original world—feeling too ugly to make friends while others easily did. She had magic’s nudge but succeeded on her own. But me?

I came to this world without resolving anything, so comparing myself to her feels presumptuous. Even now, I rely on others to maintain connections.

What if they give up on talking to me? Following the story, my emotions waver. As the boat nears the dock, I glance at Yukari-san.

“Sh-Shun-sama, is something wrong…?” she asks, catching my gaze.

I blurt out a heavy question, despite our imminent arrival. “…Can I… become happy like that girl?”

It’s too dark a question for a theme park, but I had to voice it, or it’d explode inside me.

Yukari-san pauses, then smiles. “…Absolutely, you will. I, and everyone around you… we want to protect your happiness.”

My emotions nearly overflow, but the boat docks, and I can only manage, “…Th-Thank you…” as we head to the exit, holding hands.

“If you ever feel something… I’m here to listen, as much as you need,” she says, guiding me to a nearby three-person bench.

Her words resolve me. After such a heavy confession, she already knows my negative thoughts—she’s always worried about me, even when I was withdrawn.

“…I-I might say unpleasant things… If it’s creepy, please tell me…” I say, wanting to share the dark depths of my heart, despite knowing it’s wrong in a theme park.

“I’d never think that… Say anything,” she replies.

I lean into her kindness, unchanged. Looking at me with gentle, slightly anxious eyes, I first express my gratitude—pure and absolute.

“…Thank you for always watching over me… Truly…”

She trembles slightly, perhaps thinking it’s expected as a housekeeper. “There were so many times I felt broken… You were there with Mom and Yuki… But I feel I haven’t repaid your kindness…”

“…I have no courage, unlike that girl… Yet everyone helps me, calls me kind… I’m scared I’m not growing, that you’ll all turn away someday. Even today, you’re looking out for me, but what can someone like me do…?”

“I’m sorry… You don’t want to hear this… I’m not kind, just cowardly…”

Yukari-san takes both my hands, gripping tightly, looking at me. “…Thank you for sharing your feelings… I’m sorry for not noticing.”

I panic as she bows. “N-No, it’s not…” I stammer, unable to continue.

“…You’re not cowardly. Being kind to women… that’s tremendous growth, I think,” she says.

I can’t tell her it’s just chance, not me. “…I’m a woman, so I may not fully understand… But I know you’re kind and very attractive. That’s why Sasai-san and Yamamoto-san want to be with you… You don’t need to see yourself so lowly.”

Her trembling voice and firm grip emphasize her words. “If you ever feel pained or troubled… If I’m enough, call me anytime, even on my days off… I’ll come right away…”

“For hours, all day… You can vent to me. I’m sure Yuki-sama, Kaori-sama, and your girlfriends feel the same…!”

I’m likely crying. I tried to hold back, but her kindness overwhelms me. She watches quietly, occasionally rubbing my back, saying, “It’s okay…” like true family.

“…This is my selfish thought, but… you seem to crave human warmth… If there’s anything I can do, please tell me…” she says.

She truly understands me. Holding her hands, I try to stop my tears.

“…Don’t hold back, okay? We’re watching a show next, but if you feel overwhelmed or tired, tell me anytime,” she says as my tears dry and dusk settles.

She’s babysitting me—she must want to enjoy the show. I shouldn’t be selfish. “N-No, I’m fine… Sorry for worrying you…”

“D-Don’t apologize… You’re spending today with me… You don’t need to act so humble…” she replies.

She stands, taking my hand, our fingers interlaced—neither of us initiated it explicitly. She doesn’t mention it, and I feel her slender, supple fingers.

“Don’t push yourself… I’ll pick a relaxing spot,” she says, pulling me toward the show area. Our distance feels slightly closer than before.