A Man Who Lost Confidence, to a Gentle Chastity-Reversed World - Chapter 54: The Lover’s Mother, Speaking of the Past

Chapter 54: The Lover’s Mother, Speaking of the Past

“Well, I never thought I’d be sitting face-to-face with you like this, Shun-kun.”

Mai-san, who seems almost amused, gazes at me intently. From her perspective, I’m just a boy who was in her daughter’s middle school class, now suddenly dating her in high school. She might be trying to figure out what changed by studying my demeanor.

With many features resembling her daughter, Mai-san is undeniably beautiful. Being stared at by her is thrilling but bad for my heart.

Her droopy, dreamy eyes and full lips, so similar to Maki’s, stir a slight sexual feeling in me. Plus, her T-shirt emphasizes her chest, with a dark bra visible through it. In my original world, she’d be mistaken for a seductress.

“Sorry for making you nervous. You might not like talking to me, but I have things I want to ask and discuss.”

My gaze, drawn to her overwhelming chest, I force away. Chanting to myself not to think lewd thoughts, I start listening to her.

“First question… Is it true that you love both Maki-chan and Asagi-chan?”

It’s the same question Asagi-san’s mom asked. Maybe she got information from Kurumi-san. Without overthinking, I answer honestly.

“…Yes, I love them both… They’re precious to me as lovers.”

I feel Maki’s slight gaze beside me, but I don’t have the composure to check it, focusing only on answering Mai-san.

“I see… Just as Kurumi-chan said. Fufu, that’s impressive.”

As expected, she mentions Asagi’s mom, looking at me. I’m unsure what “impressive” means, but her expression shows admiration.

“…Dating two girls at once and saying you love them both—that’s rare for a boy.”

Her dreamy look isn’t negative, but my tension remains high.

“Then, next… What do you like about Maki-chan?”

Smiling, she asks her second question. It’s fine; this is like Asagi-san’s time. I’ll express my feelings. Objectively, my words might sound creepy, and declaring love feels presumptuous.

But if sharing why she’s my lover makes them happy, I should be honest. Convincing myself, I weave my answer.

“…She’s kind, listens to me slowly… Being with her calms my heart… And most of all, I love that she says she loves me.”

It’s my true feelings, but saying it with her beside me is embarrassing. I can’t look at her, though I hear her trembling slightly.

“I see… Maki-chan, about you and Shun-kun… Fufu, I want to hear more details.”

It’ll take too long, she laughs, continuing her questions. I sense no malice from her.

“I’ve known you since middle school… Back then, you didn’t date girls or… um, have naughty experiences, right?”

It’s a tough question. I have no clear memory of my life before April.

But if I’d dated, my family wouldn’t react as they do. I likely ignored or was cold to girls back then.

I feel uneasy not knowing my past, but I’ll apologize later if I’m wrong. I decide to answer boldly.

“…Asagi-san and Yamamoto-san are my first.”

I’m not sure if the phrasing is right, but that’s how I feel. Strictly, Asagi-san was first, but I don’t want to rank them—a selfish sentiment.

Mai-san murmurs, “Hmm, I see…” and thinks. Then, with a preface, “One last question, okay?” she asks.

“…If Maki-chan got pregnant, what would you think?”

My spine stiffens further. Swallowing, I notice Mai-san’s expression grow serious. Her usual leisurely tone fades, her gaze firmly on me.

Is Maki already pregnant? But she said she’s on the pill. I consider checking her expression but hesitate—it’d mean doubting her.

No, I want to believe Maki wouldn’t lie. Mai-san’s question is literal: what would I do if Maki got pregnant? I conclude it’s a test.

She’s gauging if I’m worthy of her daughter, like a marriage proposal scenario. She likely knows we’ve had sex at their house, so it’s natural she’d ask.

I’m unsure if my interpretation is correct. But I’ve relied on Maki’s pill use, releasing inside her repeatedly. She’s asking if I’m prepared to support her daughter.

My feelings are clear. Even if Maki were pregnant, my answer wouldn’t change. It might be arrogant, but I don’t want to lie.

“…I absolutely don’t want to run away. I don’t have money now and would need help, but… as long as Yamamoto-san doesn’t mind, I want to be with her… So…”

I’d take responsibility, I say, voice trembling. Mai-san softens, smiling leisurely.

“…You’ve got a serious look. I can tell you truly care for Maki-chan…”

Sighing, she bows slightly.

“Sorry, Shun-kun, for asking something odd. But I wanted to know if Maki-chan’s boyfriend felt this way… You’re not upset, are you…?”

Her serious expression gone, her relaxed tone returns, and she worries about me. Caught off guard, I reply, “…I’m fine.”

“…I knew Maki-chan’s on the pill, so you’re using protection… But I didn’t know how you felt.”

Her cute gesture of touching her lips suits her.

“…Since you’re in high school, she’s on the pill… But if Yamamoto-san wants a child, I… I’d want to accept it.”

It might be presumptuous, and she might not want my child. She once said she’d want to, but maybe she was just being kind.

“Of course, it depends on Yamamoto-san’s feelings…”

I get that far when Mai-san says, “I see,” standing to retrieve a photo from a drawer. It shows her and a timid-looking man.

“…I want you to hear a bit of an old story… Maki-chan already knows this.”

Placing the photo on the table, she begins speaking slowly.

“About 15 years ago… I pursued a man, and we dated. I asked for sex, and I got pregnant the first time… That child was Maki-chan.”

She pauses, saying, “But,” and looks at us.

“When I was close to giving birth, he ran away… He left a letter saying, ‘I don’t have the confidence to raise a child.’”

My heart jumps. She continues.

“Even though the government gives good support for having kids… Maybe he was scared of parenting, or living with me was too much. I raised Maki-chan alone.”

“I was prepared to raise her alone, and with help, it wasn’t too hard… But it was a bit sad.”

“I don’t feel love for him anymore, and I don’t resent him. But I decided to show this photo to Maki-chan’s future lover.”

Mai-san looks at me steadily. Her gaze isn’t sharp but feels trusting.

“…I was young, didn’t think about protection, and pushed my desire for sex without considering his feelings…”

“So, I have one thing to say to you, Shun-kun. If Maki-chan wants to have a child… please stay by her side. It’s fine if you both keep using protection… What matters is deciding together.”

“They say the world’s facing a low birthrate, but don’t worry about that. Do what you both want, that’s what I think…?”

“And you don’t need to think too grandly about responsibility… You should cherish Asagi-chan too, and it’d be a shame if you couldn’t talk to other girls…”

I’m the one talking a lot, she murmurs, smiling again.

“…I think you’ll keep getting affection from many women… So, if you think of Maki-chan even a little more, I’d be happy as her mother. Maybe that’s selfish…”

Getting affection from many women is just her flattery. I don’t have that charm.

Still, her care for us and her wish for Maki’s happiness come through strongly.

“…Honestly, I’m not good at entertaining or making Yamamoto-san happy… But I want to be with her, and I want her to stay with me…”

I’m getting carried away, saying things unlike me, without considering how Maki feels.

“Oh, Maki-chan looks so happy… She’s blushing and trembling now. I think she’s thrilled.”

Finally, I muster the courage to glance at my lover, worried she’s upset by my bold words.

“…S-Sato-kun, um…”

She’s looking down, her ears red. I can tell she’s not angry.

“Fufufu, I’m a bit jealous… I wish I’d met a boy like you when I was younger… Just kidding.”

Wanting to meet someone like me is a joke. I’m just indulging in unrealistic ideals, wanting to monopolize Maki.

Mai-san looks young, despite being over 30, given Maki’s age. She’s remarkably youthful.

I hesitate to voice my thoughts, but Mai-san stands.

“Fufu, enough joking… Why don’t you two talk privately in her room? You don’t seem to dislike naughty things, Shun-kun.”

Hearing that from my lover’s mother startles me. Waving lightly, she heads to her room.

“Oh, I forgot… If you’re close lovers, ‘Yamamoto-san’ and ‘Sato-kun’ might not suit you… See you next time, Shun-kun?”

Winking playfully, she gives advice. It’s hard for me, though.

As the door to the hallway closes, Maki and I are left in the living room. The tension in my heart finally eases, and I sink deeper into the chair.

I understand that in this world, male libido has declined, leading to a low birthrate. Still, I’m shaken by the fact that someone like Mai-san went through such an experience.

Despite her laid-back demeanor, she’s lived through the struggles typical of women in this world, understanding the hardship of raising a child alone. It’s a reality I, as someone who’s lived so selfishly, can’t possibly grasp.

…A single person’s life carries such weight. Having lived alone until now, I’ve been oblivious to that truth.

At that moment, as I start to spiral, my right hand is gripped tightly. The hand is small but strong. Without looking at me, she murmurs softly.

“Sato-kun… I want you to come with me…”

I nod, and Yamamoto-san pulls me toward her room. A bit more forceful than usual, she leads me without showing her face.

After letting me into her room, Yamamoto-san shuts the door with a bang and sits on the bed. Unsure what to do, I sit beside her, leaving a small gap.

The moment I sit, I feel her tremble slightly. She’s still looking down, her expression hidden, but after a moment, she finally turns to me.

“Um… Sato-kun, I… I’m so happy… I might not be able to speak well, but…”

Her face red, her gaze occasionally drifting, she starts speaking slowly.

“You saying you’d take responsibility… It was so cool… You said it the first time too, but… knowing you really feel that way…”

“…I thought I had no good qualities, but you listed so many things you like about me… I’m almost crying. I kept looking down so you wouldn’t notice…”

“Honestly… when Mom started talking about the past, I was a bit scared… I didn’t want you to feel burdened by me… I’d be happy if you just thought of me sometimes…”

“But you… you even worried I might not be satisfied… I’m already so happy… You look at me so much, love me so much…!”

Taking a deep breath, Yamamoto-san closes the gap between us slightly.

“…Thinking about that, I got greedier… I know it’s heavy to say. But I… someday, I want to have your child… Of course, only when you’re ready…”

“…I’d cover all the costs… And I wouldn’t ask you to raise it together, that’s too much… But if possible… like Mom said, I want you by my side when I give birth… That’d make me happiest… Ehe…”

Her candid words shake my heart deeply. She’s willing to entrust her life to me, saying she’d bear my child.

Why does she trust me so much? Is it okay for me to disrupt her future? Surely, a cooler, genetically superior man suits her better.

Yes, I know I can’t compete with such men. That’s why I take her sincere feelings with skepticism. It’s clear we’re not equals.

Yet, I’m undeniably dependent on her. She enjoys our talks, loves me, and I can’t help wanting to possess her.

My emotions mix, painting the depths of my heart black.

And then, I remember—to pour all my feelings onto her.

“Thanks, Yamamoto-san… You don’t need to talk about covering costs… I just want to be with you as long as you want, that’s what I think.”

My words brighten her expression. Thinking of what I’m about to say pains me slightly, but I have to say it.

“…But before that… there’s something I need to talk about. It might upset you, but… please listen.”

I spill my emotions, bit by bit, but all of them.

That I’m not a kind person.

That I fear being hated more than anything.

That I lack confidence when a charming man appears.

Yet, I harbor possessiveness toward both of them.

I don’t know if it’s different from what I told Asagi-san. I just wanted to tell Yamamoto-san my current state and all my anxieties.

“…I’m not a pure person. You might be disillusioned… But I felt I had to tell you, Yamamoto-san…”

I don’t think I could look her in the eyes. Pouring negativity onto someone who valued me scared me. I could only focus on spilling my thoughts.

As I speak, I notice water dripping onto her lap. Startled, I finally look at her face.

“…Sniff, ugh… You don’t… have to think that… Why…?”

Her tear-streaked, distorted expression reveals pure sadness. I stop speaking, unable to respond.

“Sorry… I didn’t realize you felt that way… And I was just… getting carried away… Sorry…”

Did my confession make her feel guilty? Did my feelings hurt her? Did I push my burdens onto her, burdens I should’ve handled alone?

“N-No, that’s not it… You didn’t do anything wrong, Yamamoto-san… It’s just my lack of confidence… You’re always so kind, the best lover…!”

It’s laughable for someone with two lovers to say, but I don’t want her to blame herself.

“…But I can’t help… feeling anxious… That you’ll get fed up with me, that I’ll disappoint you… That’s all I can think about…!”

“…That’s impossible…”

Yamamoto-san cuts me off. Her tone, stronger than usual, surprises even her. Covering her mouth, she continues.

“S-Sorry… But me getting fed up with you? That’s absolutely impossible… You’re the only one I see…”

“…Maybe I shouldn’t say this since I didn’t notice your struggles… But I have no intention of going with any other man… That’s certain…”

“…I’ll always follow you, Sato-kun. As long as you don’t push me away, I want to be with you… Of course, I’ll try not to burden you…”

“…You saying you want to possess me made me so happy. But… I’m already yours… So please, don’t worry anymore… If you love me any more, I might die of happiness…”

“The pregnancy and kids stuff… I got ahead of myself. Your happiness is what matters most. So if you’re struggling… talk to Asagi or me…”

I might not be reliable, she concludes, looking at me.

I take her words slowly, truly slowly, letting them sink in. In the end, I’m just being protected by my two lovers, Asagi-san and Yamamoto-san.

I hold back tears, realizing I can’t worry her more, though it’s late for that.

But why does she trust me so much? I don’t have the confidence to live up to it.

“…Yamamoto-san… you believe in me, just like Asagi-san did… But I feel like you’re both misunderstanding me… I’m not the person you think I am…”

Hearing my weak words, Yamamoto-san thinks for a moment, then faces me. Her lips form a straight line, as if resolute.

“…This might upset you… You might not want to hear it…”

“If you’ll allow me… I want to tell you why I love you, Sato-kun…?”