A Man Who Lost Confidence, to a Gentle Chastity-Reversed World - Chapter 51: The Boy I Love

Chapter 51: The Boy I Love

Asagi’s Perspective

At the entrance ceremony, I stood in line by name order, and behind me was a boy. Slightly slouched, a bit taller than me, I spoke to him out of a small sense of adventure.

Until then, boys felt distant. I’d only talked to them for bare necessities, and they seemed to avoid or fear girls, making friendship seem impossible.

Of course, I wanted to try naughty things with a boy. Mom once told me she’d had sex with a man when young.

But she didn’t get pregnant, and he left her afterward. Maybe her sex drive was too strong, she laughs about it now.

I inherited that strong sex drive.

Reading steamy scenes in shoujo manga, I started forming small ideals.

The internet and books said women want aggressive sex from men. I began feeling the same.

I’d fantasize about cool manga boys or ideal cocks while… masturbating.

In reality, no boy wanted to talk to me. Probably the same for other girls. News about women assaulting men and getting arrested showed how wary men were.

Classmates talked about cute boys, but none had dated.

Some bold girls fantasized about forcing shy boys, but I couldn’t. Despite my sex drive, I didn’t want to break laws. I wanted a manga-like boy to want me.

Thinking such sweet things, I doubted I’d date in middle school. I spent it shopping for cute clothes and hanging with friends, expecting high school to be similar.

I did decently in studies, except math, and got into a coed high school. Maybe I’d find a boy to fantasize about—that was my mindset at the entrance ceremony.

That’s when I spoke to Shun-kun. Expecting rejection, I tried since we’d sit near each other. He was flustered but didn’t ignore me, even returning my greeting. Thrilled, I dragged Maki, my middle school friend, into pestering him.

It might’ve been annoying, but he listened, answering nervously.

Maki wasn’t close to him either, so we agreed to befriend him together.

Linking arms on the way home was bold, but he didn’t refuse. Maybe he felt our breasts. Thinking back, that naughty Shun-kun was peeking through then.

Eating lunch on the rooftop, he ate my tamagoyaki. Unlike other boys, he wasn’t wary and blushed when looking at me.

He was like a manga boy. I had impure thoughts, and probably Maki did too.

I didn’t want to hurt him, but I fantasized about naughty things with him.

My masturbation fantasies shifted to him bullying me with his cock.

Recalling his shy, kind smile, I realized I might love him.

I wondered if I was confusing lust with affection, but I decided I felt both.

Once I thought I loved him, I masturbated more, only to him. Around then, he came to my house to tutor me.

I really wanted help with studies, but I also hoped he didn’t dislike me.

I focused on studying, but when he found my favorite vibrator, I panicked, fearing he’d hate me. I cried, pathetic.

But he comforted me and said he was interested in my masturbation. What followed was a whirlwind.

He forgave my eagerness, groped my breasts lewdly, stared at my pussy.

I was a mess then. His first thrust hurt a bit, but only briefly.

His hot cock grinding places masturbation couldn’t reach melted me. I was a mess, blushing at the memory.

Shun-kun’s naughty face during, and worry after, convinced me—he was the one.

Now, I know it’s selfish to want to keep him, to have him stay with me. That’s his choice, not mine.

After, I wanted him to like me, but felt guilty toward Maki. I could tell she got nervous around him.

We hung out as a trio, shopping, even staying at his house. When he and Maki shared a bed, I heard her cute moans late at night, feeling uneasy.

Maki’s breasts are bigger than mine. She calls her body sloppy, but I’m jealous of its softness compared to my stick-like figure.

I worried he preferred big breasts. I let that slip in front of Yuki-chan.

He had sex with me, but I didn’t know how he felt about me.

I thought it over and decided to confess, accepting he could like Maki or others, but I couldn’t bear being excluded.

While shopping, he considered my feelings, splitting costs—unheard of for boys—and wanted matching watches. His kindness was overwhelming.

I wondered if I was worthy, but couldn’t stop wanting to get closer. So, at our usual park, I confessed.

His acceptance thrilled me, but I sensed his lack of confidence, always saying “someone like me.”

It might be humility, but I wanted to tell him he’s an amazing, cool boy.

His intense gaze might’ve caused misunderstandings, but I saw kindness in it.

I decided, as his lover, to boost his confidence, not wanting him sad, even if he didn’t want it.

My naughty desires overflowed. Asking for a love hotel was shameless, but he agreed.

Wanting his cock was selfish, I realize now.

But he accepted all my lust, praising my body, thrusting from behind. Lovers’ sex felt incredible.

Waking in the same bed after late-night sex was dazzling.

When I stirred, he whispered “cute,” thinking I was asleep. My heart fluttered. I wanted to hug him, hoping he didn’t notice my grin.

He completely captured my heart. Already in love, knowing he loved me back made me deliriously happy.

Amid that happiness, I acted. I helped Maki pursue him, feeling guilty.

When I told her we were lovers, she said not to worry, but I felt I betrayed her.

After their movie date, they got naughty. On a call, Maki fell for my teasing, worrying me slightly.

Shun-kun apologized, saying he was at fault, not Maki. Few boys would say that.

I thought he might love Maki too, so I decided to support them.

Maybe I was a self-serving Cupid, atoning for Maki. But I genuinely cared for her.

Later, Maki called. She’d told him she wanted his naughty gaze. I was shocked; I couldn’t be that bold.

Supporting them, I realized I just wanted to date him, have sex, see his smile.

I resolved to cherish that, accepting his desires and sharing mine.

At the love hotel with Maki, I watched her confess. She was nervous but spoke her truth, making me tear up.

Her saying one more time would satisfy her was so Maki, but unnecessary.

When Maki hesitated for me, I wavered. It was her day, but I wanted sex with him.

Using lovers’ sex as an excuse, I had him love me.

His sex gave a happiness masturbation couldn’t.

No tricks needed—he loves me, I accept him. That’s what lovers are.

Watching him with Maki made me happy. She looked blissful during sex, like I probably do.

Maki lacks confidence, but she’s cute with a soft body I envy.

He seems to love big breasts, making me jealous when she rubbed his cock with them.

Him cumming in both our pussies was so cool. He’s my destined person, I realized.

Today, he bared his heart to me.

Fearing I’d leave, or a better boy would appear, he poured out his anxieties.

I don’t know why he’s so self-deprecating or what happened in his past. I shouldn’t pry, and making him talk would hurt him, the worst outcome.

But he needed me, said he wanted to keep me.

“Happy” doesn’t cover it. How many girls hear that from a boy, especially from him?

I wanted to hug him tightly, kiss him wildly, but I tried to stay calm. Not sure how it looked.

My role is to accept his words slowly. I don’t know if I did it fully, but I felt I touched his heart. I want to erase all his anxieties.

I won’t go anywhere.

No boy is more appealing than him.

I want him to spill all his thoughts.

I want him to be more confident.

Today’s sex might not have healed him fully, but I’ll do it as many times as needed.

Casual chats, group shopping, dates, melting sex—many ways to help.

If Maki or others can help, that’s fine. I just want his happiness.

Because I’m his ally, and he’s my beloved boy.

I hope to share all these feelings with him.

…Shun-kun, I love you.

…Say you love me again, and I’ll be happy.