A Man Who Lost Confidence, to a Gentle Chastity-Reversed World

Chapter 40: My Bad Habit, Her Words ☆

Even with Yuki’s increased physical closeness, school life remains unchanged. I’m not sure if it’s mundane, but it’s definitely fulfilling.

“Shun-nii, you don’t need to change anything,” Yuki often says, but I think my heart has shifted a bit this past month. Not by my own doing, but because of my surroundings. Deep down, my cowardly feelings still linger.

It’s the last week before Golden Week. Today’s Wednesday, and the girls in class seem engrossed in plans for the break. I only overhear, not directly involved.

“Hey, Sato-kun, what’re we doing for the holiday?”

Asagi-san asks as I sit in the morning. I haven’t thought about it and have no plans, so I mumble, “I-I haven’t thought about it… probably staying home…”

“I see… I wanna do something since it’s a whole week. I’ll probably be at club half the time, though… ugh, tough…”

She slumps but makes a suggestion. I’d been thinking of staying home with Yuki or Mom, but realizing I have a girlfriend like Asagi-san, I should’ve invited her.

“S-Sorry, I’m so clueless… um, can you tell me your free days later…?”

My question-like tone feels pathetic. Still, Asagi-san brightens, smirking with satisfaction.

“Yeah, thanks! Ehehe!”

As the bell rings and she turns forward, I look down, embarrassed. I feel the girls’ gazes on me, or maybe it’s my imagination.

At lunch, the rooftop is ours alone, as usual. I worry we’re being avoided by the class.

“…By the way, Sato-kun, I heard the literature club’s holding a bonding event during the holiday.”

Yamamoto-san’s news is new to me. Apparently, it’s not finalized, but they’re planning a cherry blossom-like event in a park during the second half of the break.

“They asked me to tell you… I’m planning to go, but what about you, Sato-kun…?”

The old me hated such events. Group settings, like drinking parties, overwhelm me, unlike one-on-one.

But with Yamamoto-san there, I won’t feel out of place. The seniors don’t seem like they’d exclude me either.

“…Yeah, I think my schedule’s free.”

She looks relieved at my answer.

“Good! Asai-senpai was really looking forward to it, so I worried if you’d decline… but you don’t have to worry about me, okay?”

She tries to reassure me, but I feel I’m burdening her. Making a girl like her worry about me fills me with constant guilt.

“…Hey, you two? How about the three of us going somewhere?”

Asagi-san’s tone feels slightly teasing to me. When I blurt, “Ah, sorry!” her expression softens.

“Sorry, Sato-kun. You didn’t need to apologize…”

She bows slightly, checks our schedules for the first day of the holiday, and makes a plan.

I wish I could tell if she’s genuinely upset. If I were used to women, maybe I’d react better.

More importantly, going out with three people should be a big deal for me. My senses are numbed, but I mustn’t forget that. I need to avoid upsetting them.

After school, Yamamoto-san and I head to the literature clubroom. I want details on the bonding event, and I haven’t been much lately.

Opening the door, we find two women inside.

“…Been a while.”

Ishikawa-senpai, a quiet third-year with long hair, greets us, eyes still on her book.

Shiina-senpai, sitting at the back, stands from her PC. “Sato-kun, it’s been a while. Thanks for coming, Yamamoto-san.”

Her sporty, princely coolness and beauty feel otherworldly.

“Y-Yes… um, I heard about the bonding event… can I join…?”

Shiina-senpai looks surprised, then delighted.

“Really? Honestly, we thought you might not come. It’s mostly girls, so we figured you’d feel awkward. I’m thrilled, and you’re welcome!”

Now that she mentions it, it’ll likely be all girls. A typical guy might be thrilled, but I feel a tinge of fear.

“Um, won’t I be in the way…?”

She shakes her head.

“No way, I think everyone’ll be happy you’re there. But if they know beforehand, they might swarm you, so maybe we’ll keep it quiet… just kidding.”

Her obvious flattery feels odd—my presence might reduce attendees.

“Anyway, it sounds like you and Yamamoto-san are in. We’re planning for the 3rd next month, a cherry blossom viewing in a nearby park.”

“…I’m making lunch.”

Ishikawa-senpai adds to Shiina-senpai’s explanation. She made cookies before, so she’s probably good at cooking.

“We hope you can connect with the first-years too. Just do what’s comfortable, Sato-kun.”

Yamamoto-san nods eagerly, bunbun. Feeling guilty, I say, “Th-Thanks… I’m making you worry, aren’t I…?”

Shiina-senpai waves it off. “No, no.”

“You’re brave for coming, so it’s fine.”

Her cool, kind smile captivates me slightly.

“Speaking of, I haven’t offered tea.”

Shiina-senpai stands, heading to the kettle. Her skirt reveals toned, athletic legs.

Staring at women like this led to bad outcomes in my old world, yet I haven’t changed.

Honestly, women here are often unguarded. Even at this school, while no one changes in front of me, many are careless with short skirts or visible bras.

After a month, I’m somewhat used to it, but erotic things are erotic. I manage by averting my gaze daily.

“Sorry for the wait, it’s slightly cooled.”

Shiina-senpai hands us tea and sits across from me. Leaning forward, her blouse’s open neckline reveals her chest slightly.

With warmer weather, most girls leave their top button undone. I’m staring at her healthy skin and collarbone.

I force my eyes to her face. I was gawking at her chest, but she doesn’t seem to notice.

Relieved yet hating myself, I return to small talk.

“Amii’s timing is bad. She was excited to talk to underclassmen but isn’t here.”

Amii must be Asai-senpai, the lively, small-animal-like second-year. Her mascot-like charm is dazzling to me.

“She’s in multiple clubs. Probably here most, though.”

She’s always buzzing around, Shiina-senpai says, looking distant.

“…Are you two in other clubs?”

Ishikawa-senpai answers first.

“…Just here. It’s calming.”

I sense a quiet air from her, like me. But comparing myself to a mysterious beauty like her is absurd—I’m just gloomy.

“I’m only here now. I was in basketball before, but this suits me better.”

I guessed Shiina-senpai was athletic—her aura suggests experience.

“So, I still have some muscle.”

She rolls up her sleeve, showing a toned arm. It’s lean, no fat, but I’ve never closely examined a woman’s arm, so it feels strange.

“…Oh, maybe not for guys to see. Sorry.”

She lowers her sleeve, slightly apologetic. I mumble, “N-No, it’s fine…” but I should’ve said something witty.

We chat and enjoy ourselves after. I occasionally glance at Shiina-senpai’s chest, thinking it’s fuller than expected, mixing in vulgar thoughts.

On the way home, it’s just me and Yamamoto-san. As usual, the seniors were considerate, but we’re not lovers. Of course, I find her attractive, but I don’t know how she feels.

Lost in thought, she asks me a question.

“Um, Sato-kun, if I got this wrong, I’m sorry… but, um… don’t feel bad, okay…?”

She looks embarrassed, hesitating before continuing.

“…Today, I thought I saw you looking at Shiina-senpai’s chest… like your eyes were drawn there… maybe I imagined it…?”

Even if she’s not angry, this is bad for me. She caught me staring at a senior like that—she’d be justified in hating me.

Especially since Yamamoto-san and I have had sex. I can’t imagine what she thinks, knowing I was aroused by another woman.

“…S-Sorry!”

It’s all I can say. I might’ve hurt her pride, and it’s an empty apology, but I can’t not apologize.

But she says, “Ah, no, I’m not mad! I was just… curious…” showing concern, then pauses before continuing.

“…I thought maybe… you don’t dislike girls’ bodies…?”

Her words aren’t teasing or sarcastic—just her honest feelings.

Sweat drips down my back. Her question is a killer pass, impossibly hard to answer.

“When we… d-did it, you didn’t seem to mind at all, so I wondered if you were just pitying me… but earlier, your eyes were on Shiina-senpai’s skin too. So, maybe… how do you feel…?”

With the conversation this far, denying it won’t help. My desires are fully exposed, and if she’s repulsed, it’s 100% my fault.

“…Sorry. I-I can’t help it, my eyes just… go to cute or beautiful people… I might be looking at them like that… I’m gross, sorry…”

At my answer, she stops walking, looking down, trembling slightly. Thinking she’s disappointed, I wait for her words, but a faint murmur escapes her.

“…Do you look at me too?”

Her single sentence throws me into a whirlwind of panic. What does she mean? My thoughts scatter.

But she seems to snap back, saying, “…S-Sorry! I said something weird… um!” searching for words in front of me. Naturally, I’m frozen, unsure how to respond.

I’m always like this. I want to say something clever but can’t find a starting point. To me, a guy who could handle this would be exceptional.

No, this isn’t the time for that. Realizing this, I try to speak, but she looks teary, facing me.

“S-Sorry… see you tomorrow!”

She shouts, turns, and runs toward her house. I’m left alone, unable to call out.

“Shun-nii? You’re spacing out, you okay?”

“Shun-sama, was the food not good…?”

At the dinner table, I must’ve been so dazed that Yuki and Yukari-san noticed.

I’m stuck on what Yamamoto-san meant. Should I have said something? My thoughts mix, disrupting my meal.

“Shun-kun, if you’re worried, tell us right away. Some things are hard to say, but talk to someone—don’t bottle it up.”

Mom’s concern is appreciated, but with my thoughts jumbled, I can’t ask.

So I tell the three, “…Yeah, I’m fine. Just thinking… I’ll say if something’s up…!” and speed up my chopsticks.

They each say they’ll listen anytime, making me feel guilty. But consulting women about this feels too daunting.

Maybe I should send Yamamoto-san a message. It’s cliché, but I return to my room and slide my phone screen.

A notification waits. My heart skips, but it’s not from Yamamoto-san—it’s from my girlfriend, Asagi-san.

“Shun-kun, I heard from Maki.”

My heart jumps again. She must’ve told Asagi-san about earlier. I don’t know how, so I can’t reply carelessly.

Still, I don’t want to hide things from Asagi-san, so I send my honest feelings.

“I couldn’t respond well to Maki-san’s words, so I don’t know what to do. I might’ve hurt her.”

Her reply comes instantly after being read.

“I don’t think so.”

“Maki regrets running off after saying that.”

If Asagi-san says so, it’s probably true. Yet I feel worse for not responding.

“You don’t need to worry… but Maki seems confused herself.”

After a pause, her messages continue.

“We’re going out Saturday, the three of us, right? Maybe you and Maki can talk then.”

Talk about what? Saying, “I look at your body too,” wouldn’t be right—it’d be harassment.

Sure, I often have lustful thoughts about her curvy figure. But it’s not just that—her kindness and gentle demeanor are so comforting. I feel at ease with her.

“Do you hate Maki, Shun-kun?”

“No way.”

I type and send that instantly, without hesitation. Sending this to my girlfriend shows my morals are shifting.

“Then it’ll probably be fine. I’ll be there, but please listen to Maki’s feelings.”

“I’ve got a plan for Saturday. She might avoid you tomorrow and the day after, though…”

I’m completely reliant on Asagi-san. Without her, without staying close to Maki-san, I’d be stuck.

“Thanks for always helping me.”

After a slight delay, her reply comes.

“I really love that you say that.”

Her message, with a goodnight sticker, feels so endearing it makes my heart ache.

The next day, Yamamoto-san does avoid me. She greets me but takes her lunch elsewhere.

“It’s okay, I talked to Maki. She’ll come Saturday. Don’t worry, I guarantee it.”