A 30 Year Old Virgin (One Who Haven’t Even Interacted with Women) Took an Exam to Become a Wizard.

Volume 2- Chapter 09: Death and the Bathroom

What exactly did I really want to achieve?

Did I want to become a wizard?

I thought about this all night while I slept, and I continued thinking about it in the morning after I woke up and during my university lectures.

I was interested in becoming a wizard but it was just a general curiosity. I didn’t feel a strong desire for it.

Even if I could attack with fire or ice, those abilities would be useless in modern Japan. Seeking a place to showcase my powers in conflict zones was not something I would do. Besides, modern wars, where one side claims to be just and aims to eradicate the other, are pointless. There is no justice in war.

What was important to me was clearing the goddess’s exam. That was all. If I succeeded, my soul wouldn’t be destroyed, and it wouldn’t wander outside the cycle of reincarnation, lost in pitch darkness. According to the goddess, my soul would be able to remain in the great vortex of life.

Humans tend to focus more on avoiding negatives than pursuing positives, and my actions were driven by the same principle. I preferred to take it easy and meander through life rather than climb the thorny path to success. I’d rather read light novels than business books. Even if I cleared the trial, I would become a wizard, but my attitude was the opposite of someone who actively sought that title.

Besides, it’s that goddess… It’s most likely that what I would get would even be worth it.

***

After my little sister Sugumi was born, my daily routine became set. In the mornings, I attended university lectures, and in the afternoons, I helped out my stepmother, Mari, who had just given birth. Specifically, I helped her with changing clothes and feeding her fruit. Mari said, “Breastfeeding takes a lot of energy, and I’m too tired to do it myself.”

Ever since the time I was exposed of being a virgin, the teasing had become more pronounced. Mari was my stepmother, my father’s second wife, a cute and beautiful woman who was ten years older than me. She wanted me, her stepson, to put on her bra and panties, even though she turned her back to me. It was a direct hit to my lower body.

I had more opportunities to interact with her, but it was a double-edged sword.

Mari’s energy levels were recovering, but she was still far from her usual self. After eating lunch, she would get sleepy and couldn’t resist the urge to nap.

“Kuuu.”

She fell asleep in an instant, using me as a pillow.

“I wonder if I should play a prank on her.”

I left the room as Mari slept. Through the glass window of the newborn room, I watched Sugumi drinking milk and felt warm inside. Then, I visited Sakuragi Mika’s room.

“I thought you wouldn’t come.”

Mika said without turning around. Her hair was in a low ponytail, a typical hairstyle for an unfortunate woman. I had always thought so, but now I understood why. Long hair takes time to grow. Hospitalized patients rarely go to the salon. This hospital had a barbershop and a beauty salon, but patients who could endure the time it took to get their hair cut or shampooed were likely to be discharged soon. These services were intended for family members who were taking care of their loved ones around the clock.

Mika was leaning against an electric bed, gazing out the window. The weather outside was gloomy and rainy, with no sign of the blue sky.

“What do you want me to do? I can’t do caregiving or nursing, you know.”

“Even I know that much. Get me in my wheelchair.”

“Ah, okay.”

I set up the wheelchair that was folded in the corner and pushed it next to her bed. She put her arms around my neck, and I put my arms around her back. As I felt her soft breasts, I moved her from the bed to the wheelchair.

“Are you aroused? You’re my stalker, after all.”

“I’m not a stalker, and I’m not aroused.”

“It’s fine. But if you get excited every time you’re this close to a girl, you won’t be able to do this kind of work.”

“I don’t plan to make a career out of it.”

Mika handed me a transparent plastic container from the bedside table—a small storage drawer attached to the head of the bed.

“Here, take this. It’s hard for me to say it myself, but you know what I mean, right? You’re the only one I can ask.”

The blood drained from my face. I almost fainted, and it wasn’t because of the goddess’s event. I saw a pair of scissors and a razor inside the container.

“With these…?”

“The surgery is tomorrow. So, today is my only chance.”

The bone cancer surgery had a high chance of failure. These scissors and razors, Mika being murdered by her own boyfriend. It was as clear as day what these would be used for. What she planned to use it for.

“Push my wheelchair. Let’s go.”

I pondered about this.

Would the panties trial be cleared if I put them on a corpse or a cremation urn? I had tried putting them on a gravestone, but that didn’t work. If I took Saenai’s place and killed her myself, and I were to put the panties onto her body, would it be considered cleared? It would be bloody, and her body would start to stiffen.

Well, considering she had problems moving her legs, it wouldn’t be a problem even now.

If I succeeded, I would clear one of the missions. At that point, my position would change. I would return to my 30-year-old self in the present, but my body here would be arrested.

The goddess would likely teleport me away, but it was still murder. Even if I didn’t get arrested, my soul might not be destroyed, but it would surely be tainted for what I did.

If I failed, what would happen? If I didn’t help her commit suicide, she would die, and I would lose the opportunity to put the panties on her. I would be stuck in this time, unable to return to my own time, and I would live in fear until my soul was destroyed.

Either way, I would be carrying a dark burden.

“Turn there… We’re here.”

The room was labeled “Mechanical Bath Chair.” I understood “bathroom,” but what about “mechanical” and “chair”?

“I made a reservation. It’s a bathroom for patients in wheelchairs, so they can wash their bodies. It’s more convenient to bathe here than in the bathtub, and it’s what you’re supposed to do.”

“Y-You’re well-prepared.”

I swallowed my saliva. There was no better place to wash away large amounts of blood that would pour out of a person than a bathroom. The word “operating room” also came to mind, but a nurse probably couldn’t reserve that kind of room.

“Go inside.”

“S-sorry for the intrusion…”

I mumbled an awkward greeting and pushed Mika’s wheelchair into the bathroom. No one else was there.

The bathroom was indeed a bathroom, with tiled floors and a space of about eight tatami mats. There were handrails and a shower on the walls, and a bathtub unit that looked like it had been divided into thirds. The wheelchair could be locked into place, and the bathtub could be filled with water. It was a functional system room designed to efficiently wash patients who needed to be cleaned.

There was another wheelchair in the bathroom, a “shower chair,” apparently for bathing. I transferred Mika to this chair.

“Get me a bath towel. It’s over there, isn’t it?”

“A bath towel?”

“To cover my body after I take off my hospital gown. Or do you want me to get naked? I won’t show you everything, Stalker-kun. I won’t give you the service of seeing me fully bare.”

Covering her important parts?

Wait a minute. Something’s not adding up here. Why would someone who’s about to die cover their body with a bath towel? Mika wanted to die. Since her life was hopeless, she wanted to end it. She had lost hope for the future and had become desperate.

Did I misunderstand something?

“Umm…”

“The surgery is tomorrow. I can’t take it anymore. They’re going to amputate my upper thighs, so I need to remove the hair down there as a precaution against infection. I can’t do it myself, and my seniors and colleagues are busy. Yousuke is on break, and I can’t ask my family.”

Ah…

So, the scissors and razor were for shaving her pubic hair. I had initially thought it was for something else, and my excitement deflated. My shoulders slumped.

“Why me?”

“Because you’re harmless. As Mari-san said, you’re satisfied with just putting on panties on her, and you’re too timid to make a move. It’s your hobby, right? You can put them on me, too. In return, shave me.”

The target, Sakuragi Mika, had given her consent. The panties trial was almost certainly cleared. Unexpectedly, I had achieved the trial, but I felt strange. This odd sense of defeat…

It was a matter of male pride. At least be a little scared of me.

“You can’t walk, and we’re alone in a confined space. Don’t you think something will happen?”

“Your eyes are darting around. I’m sure now. Mari-san was right. You really can’t do anything.”

Well sorry for being such a wimp. Yeah I can’t do anything, that’s why I’m still a virgin.

I wiped away my tears of frustration and grabbed the bath towel.