The Reason Why I was Cheated on By My Girlfriend - Chapter 38

A Shining Night (2)

Haru’s POV

“Kaguya, are we there yet?”

“We’re almost there. Ah, there’s a step here, be careful.”

After dinner, I find myself walking in the dark, with a towel covering my eyes.

The sound of rustling leaves and Kaguya’s voice.

The cold air brushing against my skin, and the feeling of our hands intertwined

I feel both happy and scared that my brain feels like it’s going to malfunction.

Suddenly, the texture of the ground changed from concrete to soil.

Have we entered a forest?

I’m not planning to resist at this point, but I can’t help feeling a little scared.

“Please sit down.”

I do as I’m told and sit down on the ground.

I feel a cool sensation—it’s probably grass.

“Now, lie down on your back.”

I do as I’m instructed and lay down on my back.

The grass pricks slightly against my back.

“Don’t open your eyes yet.”

I feel the towel that is covering my eyes being removed.

Kaguya gently lifts my head and places something underneath it…ah, it’s the towel.

“Sorry for the wait. You can open your eyes now.”

I slowly open my eyes.

I have somewhat expected it, but what meets my eyes is a starry sky that far exceeds my imagination.

“…wow.”

The glow of the stars spreads across the night sky.

It’s nothing like the scenes I’ve seen in books, photos, or videos.

As I gaze at the countless stars filling the pale purple sky, I feel like as if I’m being drawn in.

Even though I’m lying on the cold ground, I somehow feel like I’m floating through space.

“My grandfather brought me here once when something really bad happened.”

Hearing her voice, I turn my head to the side. Right beside me, Kaguya is lying on her back, just like I am.

“This is a special place to me.”

Kaguya also turns her head to the side. Our eyes met immediately.

She looks slightly surprised for a moment, then smiles shyly.

“What do you think?”

—how many times has that question crossed my mind?

It’s unfair. It’s really unfair.

I remember the conversation we had just before coming here.

The timing is perfect.

Kaguya must have realized that I’m troubled about Yua.

That’s why she brought me here to cheer me up.

(…just how much does she care about me?)

Her kindness is overwhelming.

The more she shows her kindness to me, the more miserable I feel.

Despite all her care and attention, I’m still prioritizing Yua.

“…did something happen between you and Yua?”

Her voice sounds incredibly gentle.

I turn my gaze back to the sky, as if evading her question.

The starry sky looks terribly distorted when I look at it again.

I take a deep breath.

In the brief moment before exhaling, I make up my mind.

“…recently, Yua has been sleeping in my room.”

I understand.

There are things in this world that are better left unknown.

For example, Yua’s situation.

If I hadn’t gone back for my forgotten book that day, our relationship would have remained unchanged. I shouldn’t have had to worry so much.

However, I also understand…

It’s truly painful to have someone you care about hide something from you.

Honestly, I don’t understand why Kaguya loves me so much.

But at the very least, I don’t want to lie.

“Yua hasn’t been able to sleep well for a while now. She probably has nightmares. Something really scary happened a while back…I think it’s turned into a trauma for her.”

Of course, I can’t mention the crucial details.

It’s something I’ve decided to keep hidden even from my family, so I can’t share it with Kaguya either.

“She says she feels safe sleeping next to me.”

But I tell her everything else.

“Last night, she slept close to me.”

I bite my lip and hold my breath.

Eventually, I take a breath and let out the miserable words.

“…I’m sorry. Even though I’m dating Kaguya, I can’t abandon Yua.”

There’s no response.

There’s just cold silence.

The silence continues for a long time.

One minute, two minutes…maybe even longer.

Finally, Kaguya speaks in a small voice.

“I love you, Haruki-san.”

My heart skipped a beat.

I feel an indescribable pain deep within my heart.

“I also like you because you’re able to cherish Yua-san, Haruki-san.”

She said something I never expected at all.

“I think it’s fine.”

I turn my face to the side.

She continues to look up at the starry sky as she speaks.

“I don’t think there’s any need for Haruki-san to choose either one of us.”

“…no, no, no, no.”

I quickly deny her words.

“That means I would be dishonest to you.”

“I don’t think so. Rather, I believe it’s more dishonest to deliberately reject someone.”

Kaguya said so calmly.

“Certainly, you can only get married to one person, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be together if you’re not married. Besides, marriage is a system designed for receiving government support with child-rearing. I don’t have any religious beliefs, so I don’t think there’s a problem with loving multiple people.”

It has been a while since I’ve heard such ‘wise words’.

I desperately search for something to say.

“…but isn’t it difficult for you, Kaguya?”

“Of course it is. I’m jealous. It’s driving me crazy.”

She turns her face to the side, showing an expression that seems to mix various emotions.

“But I hate to see you suffering even more.”

I can’t look directly into her eyes.

“I’m happy that you make such a face for me.”

“…no. That’s not it.”

I can’t find the right words to say.

My mind went blank again, just like last night.

Is this Kaguya’s true feelings?

Or is she saying that just to comfort me?

What should I do?

What should I believe, and for what reason?

What should I say?

What should I do?

I don’t know. It’s all a mess.

Ever since that day I learned the truth about Yua, I feel pain deep within my chest, it just won’t go away.

─suddenly, something touched my hand.

It’s soft, cold, and thin.

It entwines between my fingers and becomes warm.

“Please look at the starry sky.”

I look up at the sky as I’m told.

“When I was in that situation, this shining night washes all my worries away.”

Kaguya then tightens her grip on my hand.

“How is it?”

It’s the second time she asked that same question.

I clearly understand what she means.

The starry sky and the warmth I feel on my left hand.

Together, they seem to ask if they can help me forget the unpleasant things.

“…why are you doing all this for me?”

I know that’s the worst thing I can say right now.

I should’ve said those words to Yua last night, not now.

Now is not the time to say those words.

I know it, but I can’t stop myself.

“All I’ve been doing is taking from you, Kaguya. I haven’t been able to give anything back. Instead, all I’ve ever done is hurt you. To be honest, I don’t understand why you still like me.”

“…I feel the same way.”

I look at her again.

Kaguya is also looking at me.

“I thought that I could never understand cheating, moreover tolerate it. However, when I see how sad you look, Haruki-san, I thought maybe it’s better this way.”

Kaguya said so with a confused look on her face.

“I find it strange myself. Why do I like you so much?”

Those words are different from when she confessed.

Comparing just the words, it feels like the distance between us has grown since that day.

“Don’t you ever think about breaking up, Haruki-san?”

But this is different. Everything is different. The warmth I feel from our skin touching, the feeling of my heart pounding against my chest, they are completely different from that day.

“…I never thought of that.”

“Why not?”

“…because I’m happy. I’ve been saved by you more than you realize, Kaguya.”

I don’t know what’s real and what’s a lie anymore.

My mind is a mess, and it feels like I’m not myself anymore.

“…so, it’s just a matter of repaying a favour?”

“No, that’s not it. That’s absolutely not it.”

That’s why I want to believe that the words I’m saying now are the truth.

“The more I get to know you, the more I’m drawn into you. I’m amazed that there’s such a wonderful person like you. But because of that, I feel like the part of me that prioritizes Yua is ugly, and I don’t feel worthy of being by Kaguya’s side…”

I said so and prepare myself to be hated.

However, Kaguya narrows her eyes with happiness.

“…Kaguya?”

I call her.

She gently opens her pale pink lips.

“Haruki-san. I have an unfortunate news for you.”

The sudden words make me tilt my head slightly.

“The train back home has left.”

…huh?