I Came to a World Where the Concept of Chastity is Reversed, so I Tried to Change my Job to a Playboy, but the Interference is Intense. Please Help me. - Chapter 216: Opening Ceremony

Chapter 216: Opening Ceremony

The sports festival opening ceremony.

Sarina and I step up to the podium on the field to give the pledge.

“I, on behalf of all girls, swear to compete fairly and honorably, in the spirit of sportsmanship!”

“I, on behalf of all boys, swear to compete fairly and honorably, in the spirit of sportsmanship!”

Woooo!

With our pledge, the sports festival officially begins.

Sarina and I head straight to the broadcast booth as planned.

Waiting there are Shigure, my guardian, and my commentary partner.

“Here we go! The sports festival’s kicked off! I’m Jitsuri Kyoko, a second-year from the broadcast club, handling commentary! And, get this, we’ve got a special guest, Oyodo Yuki from first-year Class C! A boy doing commentary, folks!”

“I’m Oyodo Yuki. Looking forward to today.”

Woooooo!

My greeting triggers a huge cheer from the field.

Among the excited shouts, I hear…

“No way! A boy doing commentary!?”

“Oyodo-kun’s that first-year, right? They say he’s different from other guys, and his voice is hot!”

“Kyaaa! Oyodo-kun! Say ‘I love you’!”

“Oh, a boy’s voice… pant pant My ears are so happy, I might get pregnant…”

“Ugh… This is bad… Just listening’s making my lubricant overflow…”

Some wild comments in there, but I’d say I’m mostly well-received.

“Nice to meet you, Oyodo-kun! Never thought I’d team up with a boy for commentary!”

“I never thought I’d be doing commentary either.”

“Right? By the way, how far are you cool with? Can I touch you?”

“I’m cool with it.”

“No way. Touch Yuki, and I’m dragging him away.”

Shigure’s not giving permission, so no touching, I guess…

“And there you have it, folks, tightly guarded by his wife! Guess we’ll settle for chatting! So, Oyodo-kun, give a quick word to the girls out there competing!”

“Huh? You didn’t mention this!”

“Just came up with it! Ad-lib, ad-lib! Come on, say something to the girls! Like, ‘Be my wife!’ or ‘Be mine!’ or ‘Who’s up for a one-night stand with me!’ or ‘Get pregnant, now!’ That’ll do it!”

Uh, uh… I wasn’t prepared, so I’ll pick from Jitsuri-senpai’s options.

“Got it… Alright, everyone! Let’s have a one-night—”

WHACK!

“Don’t say stupid stuff!”

Shigure, sensing my words, smacks my head with a paper fan.

“Hey, missus! He’s here for us, so let him give a little fanservice!”

“No chance. Yuki talking is enough to make horny bitches drool honey from their lower mouths—no need for fanservice.”

That’s harsh…

“Let them have their imaginary pregnancies, at least!”

“Then a swarm of bitches will show up claiming responsibility for their imaginary pregnancies. No way.”

“It’s safe here! If anyone charges, the student council or teachers will stop them!”

“Uh, can we move things along?”

Sarina steps in, looking exasperated.

“…Yuki, just say something safe to wrap it up.”

Shigure glares at me with a hint of intensity.

Something safe, huh…?

“Safe… safe… Alright, everyone, I love you all!”

“““Kyaaaaa!!!”””

WHACK!

“I said safe!”

Ouch… That was a solid hit.

Love’s one of the school’s themes this year, so I thought that was fine?

“Classic Oyodo-kun! Thanks for the wild line!”

I thought it was safe and met Jitsuri-san’s request, but…

The crowd’s reaction—

“Love? He loves me!?”

“Love…? Is this first-year the apostle of love…?”

“I love you too! Marry me!!”

“Ahhh I’m pregnant. Definitely pregnant.”

“…Gonna go water my flower garden with lubricant.”

…Yup, yup! I wasn’t wrong!

“Yuki! Your line’s making the bitch stench waft up here!”

Sniff sniff… I don’t smell anything?

“Nah, I got nothing.”

“I’ll clean your nose when we get home.”

“I’ve heard of ear cleaning, but nose cleaning? Sometimes you and Umi talk about this ‘bitch smell,’ but I don’t get it…”

“You don’t need to. Just remember my scent.”

“I already know your scent.”

“No need to learn any others. I’ll stuff tissue in your nose later.”

“That’ll make talking tough!”

“Okay, okay! We get it, you and your wife are super tight! Let’s move on!”

Jitsuri-senpai cuts into my chat with Shigure and starts the proceedings.

“By the way, Oyodo-kun’s also competing in regular events, so give him a cheer!”

“““Yesss!!!”””

Their voices sync like elementary kids!

“Sigh… Gotta up my guard, this is dangerous…”

Shigure’s mutter reaches my ears, but I’ll pretend I didn’t hear.

More importantly, I’m about to start commentating. Can I pull it off…?

I’m a bit nervous, but I’ll let Jitsuri-senpai lead the way.